Terminal Love
by FeudalAi
Summary: Takes place after the end of the manga. Everyone is moving on with their lives. Love is blooming and families are beginning to grow. Yet, Lucy is faced with a whole new set of problems. A mysterious disease, crumpling friendships, confusing feelings, a doctor, and a rage-infused Natsu all tie into the most important time of Lucy's life. The only question was, would she survive it?
1. Chapter 1

~ Spoiler Alert ~

This story takes place after the ending of the manga. If you do not know how the manga ends and don't want anything spoiled, please do not read this.

 **Terminal Love**

Lucy's pencil scratched against the surface of the journal that rested upon her lap. The charcoal-etched words stared back at her, mockingly, in the dim light of the flickering fire. Her lip ticked in a grimace as she re-read what she had just written.

 _Stella gripped the doorhandle, her mind not believing what her eyes were seeing._

 _"_ _Blaise?" Her voice quivered. Blaise smiled his typical lop-sided grin as a soft blush creeped up his cheeks. Her grip tightened on the doorknob as she steeled her resolve. "What… What are you doing here?"_

 _He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly as his eyes darted to the side. "I'm back." His words hung there for a moment before he slowly looked back at her, hope dancing in his molten eyes. "Did you miss me?"_

 _Stella's jaw fell open. She was torn between pure happiness and the overwhelming urge to punch him square in the face._

 _It had been a year._

 _A whole damn year without a word._

 _Could she really act like nothing had happened at all?_

Lucy scrunched up her nose and threw her pencil onto the soft ground with a heated huff. She was completely stuck. She didn't know what she wanted to write. She didn't know what story she wanted to tell. She didn't know what would happen next to Stella or Blaise… The thought of her encroaching deadline haunted her. After writing her first book, and winning that big fancy award, she thought that writing would become easier. Yet, somehow, it had only become harder.

Her brown eyes wandered around the small campsite that their group was at for the night. Erza was snoring loudly across the fire, Gray was sleeping with only his boxers on, Happy was curled up beside Natsu, and Natsu… She gulped as her eyes roamed his sleeping form. His chest rose and fell slowly, his face peaceful. Sweat began to moisten her palms as her eyes inadvertently traveled down to his well-defined abs. Her face blushed a deep red and she quickly turned back to face the fire.

It had been over a year since their battle against Alvarez. It had been so long, yet nothing had truly changed. Well, not between them at least. Everyone else had moved forward. Gray and Juvia were together, even though Gray still couldn't outwardly admit it… Erza and Jellal had finally started seeing each other… Heck, Levy was already even pregnant with Gajeel's baby!

Yet, here she was, with nothing more than friendship between her and the love of her life.

She gulped and leaned her head back to stare up at the stars far above. Her fingers automatically moved to trace each of the keys that would call her celestial friends. A soft smile spread across her plump lips when she felt Aquarius's key… Lucy had kept her promise, she had found her and she would never again lose another one of the friends that she held so dear. With a heavy sigh she looked back at the fire before she reached over to grab another small log to toss onto the dying embers. She let the slowly growing flames warm her fingers as, for a brief moment, a sense of peace overcame her…

… That was abruptly shattered as a sharp, stabbing pain rocketed up from her fingertips.

With a soft yelp she yanked her hand back from the flames. Had she burned it? She lifted her now painless hand up to her face only to be greeted by the sight of black fingertips.

"What the?" She gasped, amazed and horrified as she watched the black color slowly recede until it disappeared.

"Luce?"

Lucy jumped and quickly slid her hand underneath her leg as her head whipped around to see Natsu rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Natsu! I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

His nose wrinkled slightly before he yawned. "Are you okay? I thought I heard…"

"I'm fine… Just a little writer's block."

"Oh…" He muttered as he sat up and scooted over closer to her. She was immediately grateful for the heat that he naturally exuded. "Is that why you're up? Because you need to write?"

Lucy's soft smile fell and she turned her head so that her hair would fall. She didn't want Natsu to know…

"Yep, that's why. I have a deadline coming up and I'm completely stuck. I don't know what I'm going to tell my editor." She forced out a laugh.

She didn't want him to know that she still had nightmares… That she still had nightmares about him leaving.

"Jeez, Luce. Your first book won that giant award! Don't worry about it, I'm sure that it'll be great." He leaned into her slightly, just bumping her shoulder, yet it sent a shiver of delight rattling down her spine. She flipped the journal shut and quickly tucked it back into her bag.

"Thanks, Natsu. I think I'll be able to sleep now." She forced the words out, not really meaning any of them.

"Always, Luce." He sat close to her for another long moment and she had the distinct feeling that he wanted to say something to her, but he didn't say anything before he crawled back to where he had been soundly asleep before.

Lucy laid down and pulled her blanket over herself. She kept her back to her pink-haired secret crush as she felt the tension between them grow. "Goodnight, Natsu."

"Night, Luce." His voice was soft and blended in with the chirping of the crickets that surrounded them. She took a deep breath and sighed as she shut her eyes and tried to reassure herself.

He was here.

Natsu was alive and here, with her and everyone else.

She wasn't alone again.

With that thought, she finally fell into a somewhat restful slumber.

* * *

The following morning came all too fast as everyone began to wake and head out to finish the trip back to Magnolia. They had been gone for nearly five days and Lucy couldn't help but smirk when she saw the way that Gray seemed to bounce with each step closer that they came to the guild hall. Erza was also visibly excited as she continually babbled about her date at some super-special cake shop with Jellal that was supposed to be tonight. Even Natsu seemed chipper as he chatted away with Happy about what they were going to do as soon as they got back.

Lucy, on the other hand, had her mind stuck in her yet-to-be-completed novel.

When they finally reached the guild hall Lucy made a beeline for Levy. As soon as the blue-haired script mage caught sight of her blonde friend, she bolted up from her seat and quickly wrapped Lucy in a hug that was somewhat blocked by her protruding stomach.

"Lucy! You're back! How was the job?" Levy pulled away to quickly look her over.

"Boring, as usual, but it paid my rent for the rest of the month."

Levy smiled before she leaned back, her small hands automatically coming to rest upon her large belly before she moved to sit back down next to a scowling Gajeel. Lucy quickly moved to sit across from them.

"Squirt, I told ya not to move."

Levy rolled her eyes as Gajeel slung a protective arm around her waist. "Don't mind him Lucy, we had a doctor visit yesterday so he's feeling a little overprotective."

Lucy's eyebrow rose. "I didn't know that it was possible to become even more overprotective." Gajeel huffed and looked away, a small blush covering his iron pierced face.

"Well, he feels like he needs to be twice as protective now since we're having twins."

Lucy deadpanned. "You're having twins!" She nearly shrieked.

Levy's entire being began to glow as Gajeel pulled her even closer to him. "Yep!"

Lucy's surprise quickly shifted into delight as she smiled at her friends. She was so happy for them… Really…

Yet maybe, just maybe, she was also a teeny, tiny bit jealous.

"Congratulations, that's amazing!"

Lucy stayed at the guild for almost another hour before she left. She needed to write. By the time that she made it home it was already late afternoon and the sun was beginning to sink into the horizon. She grabbed her journal out of her bag before tossing it onto her desk. She quickly made a pot of tea before she sat down at her desk and once again began the arduous task of somehow writing a second novel.

 _A year's worth of memories flashed before her and her answer immediately entered her mind._

 _No, she couldn't forgive him just like that._

 _"_ _You should leave, Blaise."_

 _He froze as his eyes widened in disbelief. "What?" The word came out strangled, choked._

 _She took a deep breath and gathered her strength, resiliently meeting his amber gaze. "You heard me."_

 _"_ _But…" He nearly whimpered._

 _She shook her head, making her ebony waves crash down around her. "You left. You left without a word." Pain laced her voice as she silently left out what bothered her the most._

 _He hadn't just left… He had left her… Hadn't she deserved an explanation?_

 _Hadn't she at least deserved a proper goodbye?_

 _"_ _Bye, Blaise." She had to force out the words through clenched teeth. His entire posture seemed to fall as he watched her slowly close the door._

 _As soon as the door clicked shut she fell to the ground, scraping her knees against the wood. Her chest clenched in pain as tears began to bubble from her eyes. She sucked in searing breaths as she tried to breathe._

 _"_ _Stella?" His voice wormed its way through the wooden door, beckoning her to open it for him. "Come on, Stella…"_

 _Tears chocked her throat as she clenched her shirt. Why did the sound of his voice hurt so much?_

 _"_ _Bye, Stella." His words came through muffled and she could feel it the moment that he left. Her world suddenly became more empty and she was struck by a kind of loneliness that was even worse than it was when he had truly been gone._

 _How was that even possible? How was it possible to miss him even more when she finally knew that he was back in town?_

A fat tear rolled down Lucy's face and splattered onto the page. With a frustrated huff she pushed the journal away from her and roughly wiped away the tears that were slowly staining her face.

"Get it together…"

"Yo, Luce!" The sound of Natsu's body crashing into her bed made her shriek in surprise.

"Natsu!" She sucked in a deep breath to shove her emotions aside as she stood up to march over towards him. "How many times do I have to tell you to use the door?"

"But, if I use the door I can't surprise you!" His face-splitting grin forced the frown from her face.

She huffed. "Where's Happy?"

Natsu shrugged. "Where he always is lately, with Carla."

Lucy rolled her eyes as she went to make another cup of tea. Even that damn cat had a better love life than her. "Do you want any food?"

Natsu laughed. "That's a stupid question."

Lucy grinned. Yea, he was right, that was a dumb question. She began to cook some simple pasta and chicken while humming softly to herself. She let her mind wander, focusing on the plot for her novel instead of the pink-haired dragon slayer that was currently watching her every move. It wasn't long before she placed a heaping plate of food down in front of a salivating Natsu. She bit back a grin as she sat down as well.

"Thanks, Luce." The next several minutes involved the sound of him inhaling his food before he came up for air. He eyed her for a minute as she finished her food at a more human pace. "You know, I'm a little surprised you still live here after what you made on your first book."

Lucy reached for his empty plate and put the dirty dishes into the sink. "I like it here… It has so many memories."

He leaned back in his chair and looked around the small apartment. "Yea, you're right about that. This place is like you. Familiar."

Lucy frowned slightly at his word choice but she quickly forced on a smile before he turned to look back at her. "I guess." Lucy sat back down as it once again became quiet between them. It had never been like this before, but ever since her book award party they had become awkward around each other. She couldn't figure it out, she wanted to stop it, yet the distance between them just seemed to grow

"Are you okay, Luce?" His expression softened as worry seeped into his eyes.

She winced. "Of course I am, Natsu. Why?"

He shrugged and continued to watch her. "You've just seemed off recently. Like something is bugging ya."

"Come on, Natsu. If something was wrong I'd tell you. You know that."

He watched her for another long moment before his posture relaxed. "Yea, I guess you're right."

She smiled and lightly kicked his shin. "Since when did you become a worrier? Isn't that Gajeel's job lately?"

"I know! I saw him smash a chair into pieces today because it 'almost' got in Levy's way." His laughter bounced around the apartment, making her small place feel alive.

"I guess I can't blame him though, he's just worried about her."

"Yea, guess I'd probably be the same if I was in his shoes."

Lucy blushed as a thought ran rampant out of her mouth. "Is that something you want someday? To have a baby?"

His face immediately became a shade darker than his hair. His eyes stayed glued on her as his lips fumbled to form words. "Um… Yea, I guess. Do… Do you want that?" Uncertainty filled his gaze as he watched her.

All of a sudden she felt hot. Really, really, hot. Her whole body became flushed as she quickly stood up and turned on the sink so that she wouldn't have to face him when she answered. Once her hands were inside the soapy water she took a deep breath and replied, trying not to let him see how deeply he had rattled her.

"Yea, I want kids someday."

"Oh, that's um, good to know."

A shiver ran up her spine as she tried to resist the urge to turn around and look at him. "Why is that something good to know?"

"Well, ugh, you're my partner and it's good to know that one day my partner wants to have kids."

Lucy sighed and scrubbed the dish harder. "Don't worry, Natsu. Whenever I do have babies, with whomever I'm with, they won't get in the way of our friendship." She turned and threw a forced smile over her shoulder before quickly returning to face the nearly-finished dishes.

It became quiet again.

It was quiet until she turned off the water and sat the last dish to dry. When she turned back to face Natsu she found that he was still staring at her, his face contorted into an odd expression that she couldn't read. She walked passed him to sit on her bed as he angled his seat so that he could continue facing her direction.

"Hey Luce, do you think Gajeel and Levy are going to get married?"

She nodded. "Mhm. I'd also bet that its not too far off for Juvia and Gray too."

His eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Of course? Can't you see it? Everyone's falling in love and moving forward."

His face scrunched up as he scrutinized her. "I noticed, I just didn't think that everyone was moving that fast."

"Everyone moves at their own pace. Some move faster than others."

He took a moment to think that over before he spoke again, his voice velvety. "How fast do you move, Lucy?" His sincerity floated off of him in waves.

She gulped. "I don't know, I've never been in a serious relationship."

"But, what about with me?"

Lucy's hands began to tremble and her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. She could hardly breathe. A nervous laugh erupted from within her, slightly shocking her as she forced out a reply. "Natsu, what are you talking about? We're partners."

He reached up and rubbed the back of his head as he sheepishly laughed. "Yea, guess you're right."

Lucy could hardly stand looking at him. He had absolutely no idea what he did to her. His smooth voice, the way his eyes sparkled, his lopsided smile, the way her heart skipped when he looked at her… How could he not see what his mere presence did to her? Still, it was better that he didn't know. Unrequited love was hard enough, she wouldn't be able to handle it if confessing ruined their friendship as well.

Natsu… Well, he was the most important person in her life. She wouldn't ruin that.

She couldn't lose him, not again.

She leaned backwards until she fell back against the bed. She stared up at the ceiling, glad that she could no longer see his face. It didn't take long before she felt him lay down beside her, their legs dangling off of the side of the bed.

"I'm glad that we're partners, Luce." His voice was nearly a whisper. She could feel the heat that radiated off of him. He was so close, so very close, that she could almost feel his arm brushing hers.

"Me too, Natsu… I know that a lot of things are starting to change, but you can always count on me. Whoever comes into our lives, no matter what, you'll always be my partner." She turned her head to the side to look at him. He was staring straight up at the ceiling, his face blank and unreadable. He took a shallow breath and then turned so that he was facing her. She could feel his breath on her skin, making her hyper aware of every small sensation.

"Luce, is there someone you like?"

Lucy seriously couldn't breathe. She sucked in a sharp breath as his hand found its way into hers. He weaved their fingers together, making her mind go completely blank.

"It's… It's okay if you like someone. You can tell me, ya know. We…" He squeezed her hand. "This will never change. You'll never lose me."

She wanted to cry.

She bit the inside of her cheek to stop the tears that wanted to fall. "You'll never lose me either, Natsu." Still, as she laid there with their eyes clashing together she couldn't stop dangerous thoughts from circling through her mind.

He had left her once before, what was stoping him from leaving her again?

She turned to look back up the ceiling, unable to continue meeting his gaze. She squeezed his hand, reassuring herself for the millionth time that he was really there.

"Luce…" His voice had somehow managed to soften even more. "Have you ever been kissed?"

"Yea."

Natsu jerked, yet he kept his hand within hers. "You have?"

She nodded and closed her eyes, letting her memories wash over her. "When I was still living in that hell of a mansion a boy from school kissed me. I promptly 'Lucy Kicked' him."

Natsu's body relaxed as a nervous laugh escaped him. "That sounds like you."

She giggled softly before she continued. "And… When Fairy Tail was disbanded and I was working… I got kissed then."

His hand went limp. "You were?"

"Yea."

"Did you… Do you… Like him?"

"I don't know. His name was Aaric. I didn't really have time to think about feelings back then… I was so preoccupied with trying to find all of you. I was always looking for clues, searching for signs… Plus, all of my actual work. There just… Wasn't time for that sort of thing."

"Oh." He took a deep breath and she could have sworn that she felt his fingers quiver. "When was it?"

Lucy rolled her eyes and turned to look at him. "Why does it matter?"

He turned to face her, his face expressionless. "It just does, okay?" His voice was firm, unyielding, and she found herself replying to him without even questioning his odd tone.

"About two days before you came back."

He grimaced. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He smiled sadly as he slid his hand out of hers. She instantly longed for his touch. "For ruining your romance."

She scoffed. "You didn't ruin it, it was nothing to begin with."

"A kiss isn't nothing, Luce."

Her hand clenched the blanket beneath them. She needed something to steady herself. "Have you ever been kissed, Natsu?"

His face flushed, but he didn't look away. "No."

Her heart skipped and she was almost positive that he would be able to hear its erratic beats. "You haven't?" Not for the first time that night, she noticed how close he was to her. His lips parted to answer, before promptly slamming shut. He was so very close…

"No, I'm kind of nervous for it, actually. Isn't that stupid?" He laughed at himself before his expression turned deadly serious. Suddenly, she felt his fingers gently brushing against her own once again. "Hey, Luce, do you wanna be my first kiss?"

She chocked on thin air as her eyes bulged out of her head. "What?"

"Um, I mean, it wouldn't mean anything. We'd still be partners of course… Come on Luce, will you help me with this?"

Lucy didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to do. She could hardly breathe.

He was asking her to kiss him?

She was instantly torn. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to kiss him more than he could possibly know. But, that wouldn't be right. That wouldn't be okay.

It was not okay to kiss your best friend, not if you wanted to remain friends.

Yet, she couldn't deny the way that her heart was pounding. She couldn't stop her fingers from slowly curling into his as his thumb rubbed the back of her hand. It wouldn't be right…

But, damn, did she want this.

It was simple, if she did this she would have to give him up. As impossible as it sounded, as impossible as it felt, she would have to give him up.

Maybe if she kissed him she could shove her stupid crush aside?

Maybe it would prove to her that they were nothing but friends? That they could never be more than friends?

If she felt nothing when they kissed, then she could finally push aside all hope of being with Natsu.

"You… You don't really want that, do you?"

"I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want it."

"Natsu, I… I don't want to ruin our partnership."

He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against her own. They had both shifted onto their sides, their bodies hardly an inch apart. "Don't be stupid, it wouldn't ruin our friendship. You're my partner, always, Luce. I just want my first kiss over with."

He just wanted to get it over with?

"It's ridiculous that I still haven't kissed someone. But, I don't wanna kiss just anyone. I don't want to do that with someone that I can't trust. Come on, Luce, I trust you."

She licked her lips, her breathing unsteady as the tip of his nose lightly brushed her own. His free hand crawled up her arm, sending lightning bolts through her with every delicate touch until it gently cradled her face.

"Natsu, I…"

His lips shut her up.

She could hardly process it. She melted within his touch. His grip tightened slightly on her face as his lips moved slowly, tentatively, against her own. Her eyes fluttered closed as she gently pushed her lips against his.

In that moment, all her fears went into hiding. All she could hear was the beating of her own heart and the soft noises of their lips colliding.

She pushed her lips against his harder, her tongue darting out to get a better taste of him. He shuddered as his mouth popped open with a noise akin to a throaty growl. Their tongues met, just for a moment, before she forced herself back to reality and pulled away from him, just enough to separate their hungry lips.

"Luce…" His eyes were closed as he said her name softly, lovingly… He took a shaky breath before opening them. "Was I… Good?"

She jerked her head away from him. His hand fell away from her face and she felt him move a little bit away from her. "I would have never guessed that was your first kiss." Her heart thundered loudly in her chest, trying to cover up her words and the breaking of her own heart.

If this was his reaction, he didn't like her.

If this was his reaction, he truly thought of her as just a friend.

If this was his reaction… She would absolutely have to let him go.

He laughed and moved farther away from her. She couldn't feel his heat anymore. All that was left of his presence was his hand held securely within her own. "I can't believe that Aaric guy let you go if you kiss like that."

Lucy squirmed. There was no way that she was going to tell him that her kiss with Aaric hadn't been anything even remotely similar to that. Aaric had kissed her quickly and it was over before she had even realized that it had begun.

This… This had been different.

But he could never know that.

She shrugged, trying to hid her inner turmoil. "His loss, someone else's gain."

"I guess so." He sighed and she felt it as he began to pull away. His grip loosened around her hand. Her heart lurched.

No…

He was already on his feet by the time she shot upwards. "Don't leave." Her words came out breathy and he immediately froze.

"What?"

She reached out her hand to grab his, needing his warmth to give her courage. "Don't leave, please? You can sleep on the couch."

His face softened. "Luce…"

She didn't know what he was going to say, and she hated that. Without really thinking it over, she gave him a real reason to stay. "Please, Natsu? I… I've been having nightmares…"

Natsu's face immediately crumpled. "Nightmares?" Just as she had expected, he moved to sit next to her again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged and gently withdrew her hand from his, glad that he wasn't leaving. "I didn't want to bother you with it…"

He grabbed her shoulders and roughly spun her to face him, his face dark and serious. "You could never bother me. Always tell me when something is wrong Luce, always." He squeezed her shoulders before letting go. "What were your nightmares about?"

She shook her head, she simply couldn't tell him that. "Maybe later?" She whispered.

"Okay…" He watched her carefully for a moment before he kicked off his sandals and quickly crawled onto her bed.

"Hey! What… What are you doing?"

He rolled his eyes at her as his head collided with the pillow. "Going to sleep, of course."

"But… But I said you should sleep on the couch…" She whined, her heart beating wildly.

"Why would I sleep on the couch when the bed is right here?" He was about to pull up the blankets to crawl under them when she quickly snatched them from him.

"Fine…" She stuttered. "Just, you stay on top of the blankets, okay?"

He shrugged. "Whatever."

Her face heated as she pulled up the blanket and slid underneath it. Even with the blanket separating them, she could still feel his warmth. "Nothing will ever change between us, right, Natsu?"

"Mhm, we'll always be friends." His voice was heavy with sleep and it only took moments before he was out. Lucy peeked over at him, watching his face as he fell into dreamland.

She had to give him up.

When she was absolutely sure that he was asleep she slowly reached out to gently trace the edges of his face. He leaned into her touch and emitted a soft noise reminiscent of a longing moan.

Natsu…

She slowly withdrew her hand and tucked it back under the blanket. He was sleeping facing her now and she let herself fall asleep to his handsome face while her heart continued to break.

She couldn't keep longing for something that would never happen.

"Sweet dreams, Natsu…" She whispered as she allowed herself to fall into a comfortable sleep…

A sleep that was soon, once again, disrupted by nightmares.

* * *

"Natsu?" Her voice echoed into the dark cavern that surrounded her. She couldn't see him anymore. She couldn't hear him anymore. Where was he? Panic filled her voice as she yelled his name. "Natsu!"

Nothing but silence answered her.

He was gone. Again.

A bright flame burst to life in the distance and she immediately began running towards it. Tears poured from her as the flame seemed to grow farther and farther away. She felt like she couldn't breathe, like all of the air in the cavern had been sucked out.

"Luce?" Natsu's voice made her spin around. But, he still wasn't there. In his place was a floating flame. She reached for it, not caring that it would burn her. "Luce?" His voice echoed out from the flame as she reached for it. "Luce, stop!" His voice begged her. But, she couldn't. She couldn't lose him again.

As soon as her fingers reached the curling flames a sharp pain shot up her arm, but she didn't pull back. A silent scream ripped from her throat as her hand dived into the fire. "Natsu!"

* * *

Lucy bolted upright in bed. Immediately, she looked to her side only to find Natsu soundly asleep with one arm draped over her waist. She sighed as a wave of relief crashed over her. "Thank goodness…" She softly whispered. His fingertips lightly dug into her as he held her a bit tighter.

She was about to lay back down when she felt it. A sharp, mind-boggling, pain that reverberated up from her fingertips. She yanked her hand back up to her face and in the dim light from the moon outside her window she saw it…

A deep black color stained her fingertips. It looked like she had dipped them in a jar of ink. She winced as the horrendous color receded, once again fading into nothingness.

She glanced back at Natsu once more, glad that he hadn't awoken, as she laid back down onto the bed. Fear gripped her heart as she clenched her fist.

What in the hell was going on?

~ Author's Note ~

Hello, everyone!

So, I got a new idea for a Fairy Tail story. I'm actually already working on the third chapter to this. Please let me know if you think that I should keep going with this story. Do you like it? What are your thoughts?

Thanks for reading!

~ FeudalAi


	2. Chapter 2

When Lucy awoke the next morning, Natsu was still soundly asleep next to her. She pushed aside her fears from the night before and slowly crawled out of bed and headed for the shower. As soon as she was beneath the steamy, pounding water she felt a wave of calm overcome her.

Natsu had kissed her.

It wasn't a real kiss, not really… He didn't like her in that way.

But, still… He had kissed her and it had felt so amazing.

Her fingers lightly brushed her lips, still having a hard time believing that his own had been pressed against them. When she pulled her hand back she noticed that her fingertips were black once again. She lifted up her left hand to compare, but that hand was perfectly fine.

What was this?

As she watched, the black color seemed to fight to remain. It would fade slightly before returning in full force, accompanied by a sharp pain. Lucy grunted as she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. The black immediately disappeared, and with it so did the pain. She wrapped herself in a towel and immediately cursed herself for not grabbing a clean outfit.

As soon as she stepped out of the bathroom she was greeted by her pink-haired friend. "Mornin' Luce!" His grin was face-splitting and she couldn't help but return it.

"Morning, Natsu."

He stretched as he crossed his legs on top of her bed. "Your bed is so much comfier than mine!" He enthusiastically sighed.

She quickly scurried to grab an outfit as she rolled her eyes at him. "Then you should buy a better bed."

"Why would I do that when I have yours?" He quirked his head at her and she bit back an irritated grin. With a huff, she quickly returned to the bathroom and threw on her clothes. When she came back out Natsu hadn't moved at all.

"Well, since you used my bed you should give me a hand with this." She pointed a finger towards her still wet hair. She had quickly brushed it out, relieving it of any knots. She grabbed a chair and dragged it over to the bed before promptly plopping down in it with her back facing him.

"You're the one that asked me to stay." He pouted, but she felt him align himself behind her anyway. She simply kept her mouth shut as she felt his fingers begin to comb through her golden locks.

She always loved it when he did this.

It was a rare occurrence, she had only convinced him twice before, but she cherished each second of it. His fingers moved through her long hair slowly, almost lovingly, as he carefully heated her damp hair until it was dry. When his fingers were on her scalp it was like a little massage. He applied gently pressure, making her head lean into him as her lips inadvertently parted with a soft sigh.

"Luce… About last night…"

She pinched her eyes shut and gently shook her head, careful not to dislodge his fingers. "Don't worry about it, Natsu."

His fingers stopped momentarily before he continued to dry her hair. "Did you have another nightmare last night?"

She gulped. She didn't want to answer him, yet she found herself telling him the truth anyways. "Yea… I did. But, it's okay because you were here when I woke up." She felt his fingers tremble slightly against her scalp before they returned to their steady movement.

"What was your nightmare about?"

Now that, she definitely couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell him that she still woke up terrified that he had disappeared again. She couldn't admit to him that she was still haunted by the way that he had simply disappeared without even a goodbye after Tartaros.

She understood, she really did, why he had left.

But, she couldn't understand why he hadn't at least given her a proper goodbye.

Fairy Tail had been disbanded, she had lost Aquarius, and Natsu and Happy had disappeared. Her life had been completely uprooted and she had lost everything that had given her hope, that had made her happy.

Even though she knew that, by now, he probably had at least an inkling of how lonely she was during that time, she didn't want to fully admit it. She didn't want him to feel like it was all his fault, because it wasn't. It was simply that everything had come crashing down at the same time, and even though the guild was back together now she was still learning to deal with the pain that she had felt when she thought that she had lost it all.

"Um, just about our battle against Acnologia."

He ran his hands through her hair one more time before pulling away. "Sometimes I have nightmares about that too. I think we all do. But, you have nothing to worry about Luce, because I'll protect you."

She smiled and turned around. She reached up to feel her dry hair before she stood up and moved the chair back to where it belonged. A soft laugh wormed its way through her throat as she thought over what he had said. "I know you'd protect me." She sucked in her bottom lip before she looked back at him. His hair was messed from sleeping and stuck up at odd angles. He was adorable. "You know, you can talk to me about your nightmares too."

His face flushed and he quickly scrambled to his feet and slid on his sandals. "Course I know that, Luce."

She frowned slightly as he turned his back to her.

Why did she get the feeling that he was holding something back?

"Natsu?"

He spun around with a large, fake smile on this face. "I better get going, I betcha Happy is worried about me." He headed towards the window and flung it open. "See ya later, Luce!" He smiled at her before his grin slipped and he jumped out the window. She darted forward, her face etched in fury.

"Use the door!" Her words were pointless as she heard his laughs as he landed on the ground below. He waved at her before he darted down the street, disappearing from view.

She sighed and collapsed onto her bed. She shoved her face into the pillow and inhaled Natsu's natural, woodsy scent that still lingered. Could she really let him go? The pillow muffled her cry as she girlishly screamed out her frustrations. With a frustrated huff she stood up and tossed the pillow onto the bed.

She might as well go to the guild.

By the time she made it to the guild it was already filled with the usual crowd. Their voices filled their air with their welcome as she greeted everyone on her way to the bar. Mira was cleaning glasses and glanced up at her with a warm smile and curious eyes.

"Morning, Lucy!" She chimed. "Natsu's not with you?" Her question rang in Lucy's ears.

"No, I'm sure that he'll be by later though. He always is."

Mira's laugh was bell-like. "You're right. He always shows up if you're here."

Lucy deadpanned as a blush heated her body. "I'm not the reason he shows up…"

"Mhm. If you say so, Lucy." Mira winked at her mischievously before going to take someone's order. Lucy sighed and shoved her face into her hands as she tried to calm the racing images of Natsu's kiss that had infiltrated her mind.

"Hey, Lucy! You're here early." Levy's sweet voice woke her from her memories. Lucy immediately turned to spy her friend carefully hopping up onto the barstool.

"How are you feeling today?" Lucy's face immediately shifted into concern as she watched her friend gently rub the small of her back.

"The twins were moving around a lot last night, I didn't sleep too well." She shrugged. "I guess that just comes with upcoming motherhood."

"Where's Gajeel? He's usually your shadow."

Levy motioned to the side. "He's having a 'talk' with Natsu."

Lucy quirked an eyebrow as she caught sight of the two dragon-slayers by the entrance. Natsu must have just arrived. "What are they talking about?"

Levy shrugged. "I have no idea."

Natsu's eyes met Lucy's and he froze. Only moments later the guild erupted into a typical brawl as the two dragon-slayers slung fists and weak insults at each other. "I guess it wasn't a productive talk."

Levy eyed her as the sounds of the fight echoed back over to them. "Lucy, is everything okay? You look flushed."

Lucy squirmed. "Yea… Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?"

Levy's eyes flicked between Natsu and her. "I don't know…" Her voice trailed off. Lucy could see the gears spinning in her mind so she quickly changed the topic.

"Did you think of names yet?"

Levy immediately perked up. "Gajeel's come up with some pretty… Unique… Names."

"Really?" Lucy laughed. "Like what?"

Levy's smile dipped slightly as Erza squashed the increasingly destructive brawl, bringing it to an almost immediate halt. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing. We'll talk about whatever happened later, when we're alone." Levy's eyes flicked back to Natsu before they rested upon her blonde friend.

Lucy nodded, relieved that Levy was going to let her off the hook for a while. "So, tell me what were these 'unique' names?"

"Asami and Asuga for girls."

"Those don't sound too weird to me."

Levy placed a loving hand on her belly. "It's the way he says them that makes them sound silly. He can't help but sing them. Like this…" Levy coughed to clear her throat before she did her best Gajeel impression. "My baby Asami shuda-bo-bop, my shortie Asuga de-bop-di-be."

Lucy's jaw dropped as she tried to contain her laughter.

"Hey! It sounds better with the guitar." Gajeel slung an arm around Levy's shoulder and Lucy nearly roared with laughter as she watched Levy's face turn bright red. Gajeel leaned down and placed a chaste kiss upon Levy's forehead. "Levy here doesn't know what she's talking about. Those are great names. They are so much better than the one that she likes." Lucy's eyebrow rose questioningly. "Short-stuff here likes the name Aya."

"Aya is a great name!" Levy huffed as she crossed her arms.

"I think they all sound good, but what about boy names?"

The loving couple before her froze.

"Oh, shit." Gajeel's face became completely serious. "I've been so focused on a girl name that I forgot about a boy's!"

Levy laughed and leaned into him, quickly placing a kiss against his jawline. "Don't worry, we still have plenty of time to think of names."

He nodded. "Like Metalicana Jr.!"

Levy guffawed. "Um…"

"What?" Gajeel reared back. "What's wrong with that?"

Lucy stood up. "Well, I'll leave you two…"

"But, Luce…" Levy whined. Lucy simply backed away, laughing silently as she saw Levy mouth, "Help me." She loved her, but there was no way that she was going to get involved with that discussion. She immediately scanned the room for Natsu, only to find him and Happy at the job request board. Instead of joining them, she walked over and sat down beside Gray.

"Where's Juvia?"

Gray shrugged, but Lucy caught the way that his eyes immediately roamed the place looking for the blue-haired water maiden. "She left on a job the day we got back, I haven't seen her yet."

"You must miss her, it's the longest you've been apart in a long time, isn't it?"

Gray's entire face flushed and he nearly chocked on his drink. "I… I don't miss her."

Lucy shook her head. "It's only me Gray, I can see how you feel about her. No need to hide it."

He jerked his head to look away from her, but she saw the way that his posture relaxed. "I don't like being away from her for so long."

Lucy nodded, humming to herself. "I get that."

Gray peeked back over at her. "You do, don't you?" His eyes traveled over to Natsu before landing back upon Lucy. "Hey, Lucy, do you think you could help me with something? Before Juvia gets back?"

Lucy's eyes widened. "Of course, with what?"

He blushed and focused completely on her again. "I can't say here… There's too many over-hyped dragon-slayers who could be listening in." Lucy nodded knowingly. "Can I come over tonight? I'll tell you then."

"Of course you can."

"Why's Gray coming over?" Natsu plopped down across from her, eyeing her oddly as he devoured a spicy chicken leg.

"None of your business, flame-brain."

"Is too my business, ice-breath."

"He just has something that he has to talk to me about, Natsu. It's no big deal."

Gray eyed her, smiling his thanks. "Yep, just need to talk to Lucy."

Natsu's eyebrows furrowed. "Then why can't you talk to her about it here?"

"Natsu just lay off, ok? Gray just needs my help with something."

Natsu's eyes flashed. "Well, I don't know why I can't be there."

"Lucy doesn't have to do everything with you, she has other friends you know."

Natsu sat very still for a long moment before he abruptly stood up and left.

"What's his problem?" Gray huffed.

"I… I don't know." Lucy mumbled. Natsu was acting weird. Weirder than usual at least. Had their kiss screwed up their friendship just like she had feared?

Lucy stayed at the guild for the next few hours until the sun was just beginning to sink into the horizon. Winter was coming and it was starting to become darker earlier and earlier. Gray waved her off and told her that he'd come by in a few hours. By the time Lucy returned home she was itching to write.

She had a deadline coming up after all.

As soon as she stepped inside she moved immediately to her desk and flipped open her journal without even bothering to look around. She had to get something down on the page, even if it was just a sentence or two. That way she could at least persuade herself that she had been productive.

 _Stella strode to school the next day with her head held high. Her uniform clung to her body in all the right ways and she was suddenly very aware of how much she had changed within the last year._

 _She wasn't the same girl that she was a year ago._

 _When she reached the school she migrated through the barrage of students and maneuvered her way to her locker. After swiftly unlocking it, she snatched her Advanced Physics textbook and darted towards the refuge of the Physics room. She sat in her usual seat by the window and flipped open the textbook to the last page that she had studied._

 _"_ _Page 102…" She muttered as her fingers searched for a pencil. The sound of the door opening didn't even distract her from the formulas and numbers that laced the page. She had become completely absorbed within a mathematical world that was predictable, stable, and reliable… Until his voice shook her from her solitude._

 _"_ _Stella…"_

 _She didn't even lift her head to see him. Blaise. He had found her._

 _"_ _I thought you'd be here." He laughed nervously. "You always did like math."_

 _She slammed her pencil down onto the desk before her head shot up to look at him. "What are you doing here?"_

 _"_ _Here?" He looked side to side. "Well, I'm a student, and this is a school…"_

 _"_ _That's not what I meant and you know it." Her voice was less bitter than she had hopped that it would be._

 _He huffed and faced her head on. "Come on, Stella. Just talk to me. We're friends."_

 _She choked back a pained laugh. "Friends? You left for a year without even saying goodbye and you think that we're friends?"_

 _He looked away sheepishly. "I left a note…"_

 _"_ _Oh yea, how could I forget that?" She reached into her pocket where she had kept that note for the last year. "You mean this?" She shoved the note towards him and waited as he read what she had already memorized._

 _—_ _Stella, I have to leave. It's just something that I have to do. I'll be back, okay? —_

 _"_ _You didn't even say when you were coming back." Her voice faded to a whisper and she cursed her own weakness._

 _"_ _I…" He stammered._

 _She turned to face the textbook again as tears stung her eyes. She didn't want him to see her cry. "Just go, please…" Her voice cracked and she bit her lip to stop more words from spilling out._

 _"_ _Okay… Okay, Stella." He sounded defeated and she hated that she had made him sound that way. She heard the door open and she pinched her eyes shut. "I missed you, you know…" With those words the door clicked shut behind him and guilt slammed into Stella's gut._

A knock on Lucy's door tore her attention away from the story that was slowly unfolding before her. "One sec!" She hollered as she scurried to the door to let Gray in. A blush was staining his cheeks as he quickly made his way to her couch and sat down. Lucy quirked an eyebrow, she had never known him to blush for seemingly no reason. She looked down at herself to make sure that nothing was out of place before letting his odd behavior go. With a small shrug she turned to walk over towards Gray…

But, that's when she saw it… A small piece of paper sloppily scrawled on by a handwriting that she knew far too well. No… Her heart plunged into the pit of her stomach as she reached out numb fingers towards the unassuming piece of paper.

— Lucy, Happy and I took a job. We'll be back in about a month. See you soon! —

Her heart squeezed painfully. Why hadn't they asked her to go with them? They were a team… Weren't they?

She couldn't stop the tears.

It felt just like before. Just like when they had gone off without her. Just like when they had left her all alone. It was her nightmare, coming to life.

"It's only a month…" She whispered, but she still fell to her knees, alerting Gray to her distress.

"Lucy?" He shot up from the couch and raced to her side, immediately wrapping an arm around her shaking form. "What's wrong?" She slowly placed the note in his hand. "That idiot…" He muttered.

"It's just a month, right?" Her lips quivered as she looked up at him. His eyes hardened and his grip on her tightened as he roughly placed the note back onto the table.

"Of course. He'd never just up and abandon you and the guild. That's not something Natsu would do."

Lucy nodded, but she couldn't stop her tears from cascading down her cheeks. "I'm… Sorry… Gray…" She blubbered.

"Shh, Lucy. You don't need to apologize." Gray lifted her up and slowly guided her over to the couch. She sat down and he sat close to her, gently rubbing her arm until her sobs began to quiet. She knew that she was being silly. She knew that she was overreacting and yet, she just couldn't help it. "You love him, don't you?" Gray's voice was soft and full of understanding.

Lucy didn't answer. She couldn't. She didn't want to admit it out loud because then it would become even more real.

"You don't need to answer, I already know that you do." He shook his head and grunted. "That flame-headed idiot." He continued to stroke her arm, and she leaned into his comforting presence.

She didn't want to think about Natsu.

She didn't want to think about the fact that he had just up and disappeared again without saying goodbye or even asking her to join him.

She pinched her eyes shut and pushed aside her pain so that she could try to focus on the reason that Gray was there in the first place.

"So, what did you need my help with?"

Gray's eyes widened and he blushed, immediately withdrawing his hand. "Um, we don't need to talk about that right now, not with what's going on…"

Lucy shrugged her shoulders as she wiped away her remaining tears. "No, I want to know. Let me help, please." She watched as his fingers began to nervously twitch and she smiled softly. "Come on, what is it?"

Gray hesitated, for a moment, before his mouth flew open in a loud outburst of words. "I want to propose to Juvia!" His lips slammed shut and he stilled, seemingly shocked by his own words.

"Really?" Lucy's voice was filled with excitement.

"Yea…" Gray sighed as a loving smile lit up his features. "I've thought about it a lot. I want to propose to Juvia. I want to marry her." He gulped and turned to face her. "Will you help me find a ring?"

Lucy's head bobbled up and down so fast that her vision went blurry and Gray began to laugh. "Of course I will!" She clapped her hands together. "I'm so, so happy for you." She patted Gray on the shoulder, stood up, and quickly strode over to the stove to make them some tea.

Juvia and Gray were going to get married!

She could just picture what Juvia's face was going to look like when Gray proposed to her. Damn, did she wish that she could catch that on camera.

"You two are perfect together. I'm just glad that you finally realized it." She smirked over her shoulder to find that Gray was walking towards her.

"Took me long enough, huh?" He chided himself.

She gently shoved him as he came within reach. "It's just so good to see you two finally finding happiness. I know that it wasn't easy for either of you after Tartaros…"

Gray grunted. "I made some mistakes back then… I was trying to do what was best, but I shouldn't have left her alone…" Gray sighed. "I still hate myself for that, for what I put her through… But, when I thought that she had died…" He hung his head, his hair hiding his eyes from her view.

"You don't need to say anything, Gray. I understand."

Gray shook his head as if to shake away his terrible memories. "I know that I can't be without her. Thanks, Lucy, for agreeing to help me."

The tea kettle whistled so Lucy removed it and poured them each a cup. "When do you want to propose?"

"I don't know. When the time feels right, I guess… I just want to have the ring ready."

Lucy nodded in understanding. "Well, then we better get it sooner rather than later, shouldn't we?" She lifted her cup to her lips and blew on the hot liquid before taking a careful sip. She walked back to the couch, purposefully avoiding looking at the note that resided upon her table.

"Definitely. Would this weekend be good for you? You don't happen to know some good jewelry stores, do you?"

Lucy giggled softly at the way the words tumbled from his lips. "I've seen a few nice ones in town. Let's go Saturday. Sound good?"

Gray nodded and they spent the rest of the night easily talking. He stayed until the moon was high in the night sky as he, not-so-secretly, tried to keep her mind off of Natsu. It was fun. She hadn't spent time alone with Gray in a long time.

She really was lucky to have such a great friend.

When he finally left for the night though, her loneliness set in around her. She crawled into her bed and shoved her face into her pillow, inhaling the final remnants of Natsu's scent that still clung there.

He would be back in a month…

But, she couldn't keep waiting forever on something that was clearly never going to happen.

* * *

For the next two days, Lucy stayed in her apartment. She stayed inside of her burrow, her refuge, as she tried in vain to write. But, the words just wouldn't come. She couldn't make herself write anything. All day long she would look around her apartment and be bombarded by the mass of memories that resided there. Every time that she looked at her bed her heart would lurch as a phantom memory of Natsu's kiss would dance across her lips.

It was on her third night of being a homebody that Levy came barging through her door.

"Lucy! I've been worried sick about you." Levy chastised as she pushed her way into Lucy's apartment.

"I'm sorry, Levy. I didn't want to worry you."

Levy's face immediately fell as she took in the sight of her best friend. "Lucy, what's wrong? You never came back to the guild hall so we never got to have our talk."

Lucy sighed and collapsed onto her couch. Levy followed after her before sitting down as well. "Natsu's gone."

Levy nodded. "For a month, I heard. You should have heard the way that Gray was announcing it to the whole guild. He sounded pissed." Levy leaned forward as if they were conspiring. "He told me about the note." She leaned back with a slight frown. "I'm sorry, Lucy."

Lucy shrugged dismissively. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about… But, I think I could really use your help with something."

Levy bounced excitedly. "Anything! What is it?"

Lucy swallowed and twisted her hands together. "I need to find a new apartment. I need to move."

"What?" Shock etched Levy's face and her hand jolted towards her stomach, as if trying to calm the little ones that resided within it. "Why? You love this place…"

Lucy smiled sadly and willed herself to be brave enough to at least admit the truth to Levy. "Natsu kissed me."

Levy's eyes bulged.

"But, it wasn't like a real kiss. He just wanted to get his first kiss over with. He wanted to practice with me, so that he'd be good when he actually wanted to kiss someone."

"Lucy… I'm so sorry. I don't understand why he would do that…"

Lucy hung her head. "We're friends… He trusts me."

"He's friends with Erza too, but he didn't ask her."

Lucy smirked. "Well, Erza would have probably killed him if Jellal didn't catch him first."

Levy rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I guess that it's just different with me." Lucy mumbled.

"Exactly." Levy looked triumphant. "And why is it different with you?"

"I don't know… Well, I don't know on his end." Lucy's fingers curled into the cloth of her skirt. "The thing is that the kiss was amazing. Breathtaking. Levy, I've never felt anything like it. But, it was clear that he didn't feel a thing. He literally disappeared on a job the next day! I need to move on, I have to. I've waited long enough."

"I understand, Lucy…"

"So, you'll help me move?"

Levy nodded. "Of course. Still, I'll be sad to say goodbye to this place."

"Me too." Lucy sighed as she gazed at the small confines of her first apartment. "Me too…"

* * *

Natsu's fiery fist slammed into the ground.

What the fuck was he doing?

With an aggravated growl, he slouched and stared into the small fire that he had made earlier that night. Happy was soundly asleep, his chest rising and falling slowly. Natsu had tried, and failed, to sleep as well.

He just couldn't seem to get any damn sleep… For three whole days he hadn't been able to get any damn sleep.

He pinched his eyes shut and ran a hand through his tangled hair. The memory of Lucy's lips pressed against his taunted him. His tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lips.

He hungered for her.

He hadn't planned on kissing her that night. But, she had smelled so damn good and she had been so damn close… He had come up with a lame excuse and just went for it. He let his curiosity, his heart, his stupid emotions win out and possibly ruined the best thing in his life in the process.

He loved Lucy. He had realized it eons ago. He had even confessed it to Gildarts back when he had happened upon him during his year away from the guild. He loved her, he knew it, yet nothing could ever come of it. He wouldn't risk it. He simply wouldn't risk their amazing friendship for something more that could crash and crumble. If it went wrong between them, nothing would ever be the same. If he was stupid and hurt her somehow, he would never be able to forgive himself.

He needed her.

He wouldn't risk losing her.

He hadn't told anyone about the emotions that tormented him. He had almost worked up the courage to ask Gajeel for help, after all the thick-headed dragon-slayer had actually managed to snag the love of his life and not totally screw it up in the process. But, he simply hadn't been able to. So, he took a job. A hard job. A job that would require him to leave… A job that would give him the distance that he so desperately needed yet hated.

He couldn't be near her right now. Her lips… The feel of them pressed against his own had sent sensations through his body that were beyond understanding. His mind had gone completely blank. He had become lost in the moment, totally engrossed in everything that was Lucy…

Damn it, he missed her. He hadn't been away from her for this long since his year long departure. That year had been torturous in so many ways, yet these three days somehow felt even worse. He felt guilty.

Guilty for kissing her.

Guilty for staying the night.

Guilty for gently kissing her forehead after she had thought that he had fallen asleep.

Guilty for staring at her for half of the night, his arm slung protectively around her slim waist, as he watched her gentle breathing.

Guilty for feeling relief that she was there, in his arms.

He just felt so damn guilty that he could barely stand it.

He leaned back and looked up at the stars above. "Forgive me, Luce. I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry."

~ Author's Note ~

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! It means so much, you are my fuel. Thank you for supporting this story.

So, I was really thinking about keeping this entire story in Lucy's POV… But, I was so tempted to write Natsu's that I couldn't resist. If you like it, I will continue to do it. I think it would be especially interesting once more things start to develop.

Please, review and let me know what you think! It really helps me to write faster.

~ FeudalAi


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday came quickly. By then, Lucy had packed up most of her apartment and was starting to feel anxious about her upcoming move. She had arranged to meet Gray downtown at Nella's Jewelry, a boutique jewelry store full of interesting, antique, and unusual items. When she finally caught sight of Gray, he was running towards her.

"Sorry I'm late." He huffed as he came to a halt. "Juvia got back yesterday and she's been trailing me. I had to lose her first."

Lucy laughed as she glanced around looking for the blue-haired woman. "I don't see her anywhere, I think that you're in the clear."

He glanced around them. "Just because we don't see her, doesn't mean that she's not there."

"Well, let's test it." Lucy slung her arm through Gray's and leaned against his shoulder.

"Lucy, what are you doing?" He gasped.

"Three, two, one…" She counted before letting Gray go and taking a step aside. "She is definitely not here, otherwise she would have just burst forward and declared me her love rival."

Gray deadpanned before his face split into a smile. "Yea, you're right about that. Okay, let's get going on this before she finds us."

They entered the store with a gentle ding. They immediately gravitated towards the ring section, making sure to take their time.

"There are so many…" Gray huffed.

Lucy stopped, hearing the frustration in his voice. She turned to face him, drawing his attention away from the sparkling display before them. "Tell me, why do you love Juvia?"

He blushed. "I don't see what that has to do with…"

Lucy held up a hand to shush him. "Just go along with it, okay?" When he finally nodded, she started again. "Why do you love Juvia?"

Gray's voice was timid and unusually sincere. "I guess because she saved me. Her constant stalking was annoying, but there were moments when I got to see the real her. When we fought together at the Grand Magic Games we just, fit together, ya know? She's full of life and happiness, even though her past was filled with sadness. She brings out the best in me. I know that sounds cliche, but it's still true. She was the one that was there for me after Tartaros… After what happened with my Dad… I don't know how to explain it Lucy. We just fit together, like water and ice. I was so dumb not to realize it sooner. I was so arrogant to think that I could always push her aside and that everything would be okay because there would always be a 'later'." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "When she tried to kill herself in order to save me… When she healed my wound, and in doing so nearly died… When I thought that she was dead… It hurt so much. I learned that there wouldn't always be a 'later'. That I could only trust in the 'now'. She is my everything. I don't know what I would do without that blue-haired psycho in my life."

Lucy's smile was so wide that it felt like her face was about to crack. She had never seen him so open and honest before, and her eyes shimmered with happy, unshed tears. "Now, look at the rings and show me the first one that grabs your attention."

Gray's eyes widened as he turned back to the ring case. His eyes roamed over the sparkly jewels for a moment before he pointed to one in particular. "That one… That's that one…"

Lucy motioned towards the jeweler who quickly took the ring out of the case and handed it to them to inspect. Lucy's smile softened as she admired Gray's pick. "You're right Gray, it's perfect."

A half-carat blue diamond took center stage on a white gold band which was shaped into a gentle wave-like pattern. It was perfect and completely reminiscent of Juvia.

Gray gulped. "How much?"

The jeweler smiled and gently reached for the ring, checking the tag. "It's 320,000 Jewels, but let me check if I can knock that price down a bit for you…"

Lucy gasped, that was four months rent!

"Mhm, just as I thought. I could give you a slight discount which would bring it down to 300,000 Jewels."

Gray stared at the ring for a long moment before he nodded in confirmation. "I'll take it. I don't have all the money with me…" He muttered.

"Don't worry about that." The jeweler smiled as she moved to clean the diamond and place the ring within a plush, wooden box. "You can pay it off monthly as long as you have a 25% percent deposit."

Gray sighed in relief and reached into the pocket of his pants. "I have more than that." He smiled triumphantly as he slid his money onto the counter. "190,000 Jewels." He turned to Lucy and he nearly radiated with happiness. "Thank you, Lucy. Your little trick helped a lot. I can never repay you."

"Well… You could help me move this week…"

He laughed as the jeweler took his money, wrote up a receipt, and handed him the box containing his precious gift that would forever change Juvia's life. "Yea, I'll help you do that."

By the time that they left the store, thoughts of Natsu had been effectively pushed from her mind. It was a nice break from the constant worrying and over-thinking that had been consuming her over the last few days.

"When are you going to look at places?"

"Now, actually." Lucy scanned the area, glad that she still hadn't spotted Juvia spying on them. She really didn't want Juvia to ruin the surprise for herself.

"Why are you moving anyway? You haven't really said."

"It's just… It's time for a new place. A fresh start. We're all getting older and I… I want to start moving forward in life."

Gray watched her, analyzing her every movement, before sighing and letting it go. "I guess I kind of understand. After all, I guess I'll be finding a new place soon too. Well, if she says yes, anyways."

"Of course she will say yes."

"Who will say yes to what?" Juvia's voice made both of them freeze before Gray quickly shoved the ring box into his pocket.

Lucy spun on her heel and dove into action. "Gray wanted to ask you to dinner tonight, but he was worried that you wouldn't say yes. I told him that he was just being silly."

Juvia's eyes widened as she looked between Gray and Lucy. It didn't take long before she was smiling ear to ear and falling for Lucy's bait. "Of course I want to go to dinner with you!" She flung herself forward and slung her arm through Gray's as if to hang on for dear life.

Gray leaned into her touch and started to pull her down the street. He looked back over his shoulder and used his free hand to wave at Lucy. "Thanks, Lucy!"

Lucy laughed as Juvia's voice bounced back to her as they disappeared around the corner. "What did Lucy help you with?"

Gray and Juvia… They were a perfect fit.

With a heavy sigh, she turned and began to head towards the cafe that she was supposed to meet Levy and Gajeel at. Levy had promised to help her look at a few apartments, claiming that the exercise would be good for her in her current state, and Gajeel was never far behind the mother of his unborn children. Lucy couldn't help but wonder when they would get engaged. After all, they were madly in love with each other and Levy was already pregnant. It was clear to everyone that they were made for each other.

Lucy rounded a corner and smiled when she caught sight of her waiting friends. They stood outside of the cafe and Levy waved eagerly at her as she approached. "Ready to get started, Lucy?" Levy bounced on her heels in excitement.

"Calm down short-stack, we're just helping Lucy apartment hunt, not house shopping." Gajeel's face immediately heated as he realized what he had just said. "I'm not saying that one day we couldn't look for a house… But, ugh, my place has been working out perfectly fine…"

Levy leaned into him and quickly slid her fingers between his. "I love your place, Gajeel. We don't need anything fancy anyways."

"I… I guess you're right." Gajeel mumbled.

Catching onto the awkward tension that was growing between the two, Lucy quickly cut in. "Thanks, again, for helping me with this."

"Of course!" Levy smiled. "Let's get going, shall we? We have a lot of places to see today."

* * *

Apartment hunting was exhausting.

Lucy leaned back and cracked her back, a sigh of relief escaping her lips as it popped. It had taken all day, but they had eventually found it. A small, one bedroom, apartment in the town center. She wasn't by the canal anymore, which bothered her, but it was a good trade off. As soon as she had walked into the place, it had reminded her of her old apartment back in the capitol.

She had been so confused and lost when she had moved after Fairy Tail had disbanded. She simply hadn't been able to stay in Magnolia after that. Not without her friends.

Not without Natsu…

She pinched her eyes shut and took a deep breath to dispel the memories.

"This is it." She declared triumphantly to her friends.

"Finally." Gajeel huffed as Levy ran forward to wrap her blonde friend in a tight hug.

"I'm so happy for you, Lucy! This place will be great."

Lucy took a small step back and looked around the space one more time. It wasn't big, but it would be perfect for her and it was completely free from taunting memories.

She needed a fresh start.

Within the next two hours she had signed her contract and Levy had declared that they would be having a girl's night to finish packing up her old place. It had taken a lot of convincing on Levy's part to get Gajeel to leave, but when he finally did and they were finally left alone, Levy turned stern eyes onto her friend.

"Are you sure about this?" Her voice was steady and it took Lucy a minute to respond.

"Yea, I'm sure. I can't… I can't be stuck in the past, hoping for something that will never happen… I want…" Lucy bowed her head, allowing her bangs to block her eyes. She felt Levy lightly grab her elbow and she lifted her head.

"What do you want? You can trust me… I'm here for you, Lucy."

Lucy sighed and her eyes immediately gravitated towards Levy's ever-expanding belly. "I want to have a family. I want to get married. I want to have a baby one day." Her fingers reached out before she yanked them back.

Levy shook her head and grabbed Lucy's hand and placed it upon her belly. "You'll be a great mother. Anything could happen. Just have a little faith. Who knows, maybe even Natsu will come around."

Lucy let out a chocked laugh and moved away to grab one of the empty boxes that Gajeel had carted up earlier. "That's not going to happen. If that kiss didn't change things, then nothing will." With a determined glint in her eyes, she stomped over to the living room and began to shove the last of her things into the box. "Let's finish getting this place packed up."

* * *

Something just felt odd.

Natsu's stomach twisted as a downright weird sensation enveloped his being. He wanted to blame it on his fight from earlier that day, but he knew that the relatively simple fight wouldn't have caused the nauseating feeling that was swirling in his gut.

This damn job.

Why had he chosen to be gone for a month? He couldn't seem to remember his reasons. Lucy's flushed face flashed in his mind's eye.

Oh, yea. That's right. That's why he had taken this job.

Why had he just kissed her like that?

That's not how he had wanted his first kiss with her to go. That hadn't been his plan. He just… He had just gotten so caught up in the moment that he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

He was always holding himself back around Lucy. Holding himself back from kissing her, holding himself back from touching her, holding himself back from yanking her into his tight embrace and whispering his feelings into her ear…

That nauseous feeling swirled in his stomach again. What was it? Surely, the fish that he had cooked with Happy hadn't turned? He shook his head. No, he had cooked it through properly. He was sure of that. It had even been a bit singed.

So, then, what was this feeling?

A stabbing feeling echoed from his heart.

Was he seriously feeling lovesick? Was he seriously missing Lucy so much that he was becoming physically ill?

He fucking hated this.

He ran a hand down his face as a frustrated groan escaped his lips. What was Lucy thinking about right now? What was Lucy doing right now?

Was she thinking about him?

Did she miss him too?

A giant wave of guilt slammed into him, making him feel like he might even throw up. If Lucy was missing him just like he was missing her, then he had made her feel terrible as well. Was she hurting like he was?

He wanted to punch himself.

He hated it when anyone hurt Lucy, but he hated it even more when her hurt was caused by him.

He leaned back and looked at the stars. Another night away from the guild, another night away from Lucy…

Only 21 more days to go.

* * *

Lucy's fingers weaved through her hair and pulled it back into a tight pony-tail. She glanced around her fully-packed apartment as a confusing mixture of happiness and sadness enwrapped her. With a small smile, she turned back to her journal to re-read the last thing that she will have ever written within this place.

 _For the rest of the week, Stella and Blaise were like ghosts in the night. If they happened across each other at school, she would skillfully avoid looking at him while nearly tripping in her haste to disappear. Seeing him back at school, feeling his presence in the single class that they shared, sent shivers down her spine and never let her sense of guilt abate._

 _Guilt was her worst enemy. Well, that and Biology._

 _As each day rolled painfully forward, she found herself having a hard time remembering why she was so mad at Blaise in the first place. They had been best friends before. Before he had disappeared to who-knows-where, they used to sit together in the library during lunch. She would work on her homework, while he would read comics and persistently annoy her until she was all smiles and unable to process anything that she had been trying to learn. They used to go to the park together. They used to be able to talk, and not just about little silly things, but about big, life-changing, things._

 _He was the only one that she had been able to confide in after her Mom had died… She had been able to talk to him, she had been able to open up to him, unlike with anyone else._

 _He had been able to talk to her about his missing brother. He used to tell her about the few memories that he still had. He had confided in her. She had even held him as he cried, and he had done the same for her._

 _They had been BEST friends._

 _She had to force herself to remember that he had just up and disappeared on her. He had abandoned her. She had been so alone without him here…_

 _The final bell of the day rang and Stella bolted out of her seat. She tried to make her mind go blank, but it just wouldn't abide by her wishes. She hurried through the halls with her head down, shuffling through the crowd as fast as she possibly could._

 _Of course that would lead to disaster._

 _"_ _Ouch!" She cried out as she ran into a solid body. Her face pressed into someone's defined pectoral muscles moments before her books clattered to the floor. She reared back from the sudden shock and was sure that her backside was about to collide with the hard, tile floor when whomever she had run into caught her just in time._

 _Her breath hitched as she looked up at her savior, only to be met with Blaise's smiling face._

 _His obnoxiously large grin was at once contagious and extremely infuriating._

 _She yanked out of his grip and tried not to let him see her grin as she darted down to begin picking up her books. He knelled down beside her, picking up her pencil case and notebook that had flown out of reach. When she stood up he wordlessly handed them to her, his eyes doing all the talking._

 _"_ _Forgive me." His eyes begged._

 _She felt her throat go bone-dry as she suddenly found it extremely hard to concentrate. The swirl of students around them was beginning to diminish as everyone else rushed for the exit in order to fully enjoy the weekend._

 _"_ _Please." This time he whispered it, his voice pure and sincere. His jawline was tight, a look that she recognized as remorse._

 _"_ _I…" She mumbled. Her grip tightened around her books as her words failed her. Why was she so shaken up?_

 _"_ _Tonight, Sunrise Park, the usual place at the usual time." He took a step back from her as she continued to curse her inability to speak. "You don't have to say anything. I'll be there, waiting." With a soft smile he looked at her for a moment longer, took a deep breath, and turned around to leave, disappearing into the final remnants of students that were exiting the building._

 _Stella was left standing frozen in the hallway, not understanding the way that her heart had beat inexplicably fast at the thought of meeting him, for the first time in over a year, at their designated swing set._

 _"_ _What's wrong with me?" She muttered as she pushed all thoughts of Blaise out of her mind and hurried home._

Lucy ran her fingers over the words. That was it. The last thing that she would ever write in what was her very first apartment. She slowly closed the journal and slid it into her bag.

She was ready.

Her chair scraped against the floor as she stood up and excitement began to float in her belly. It was moving day.

Within moments she heard the gruff remarks of Gajeel echoing through her opened door along with Levy's light laughter. Gray shuffled in behind them, his arms crossed as he analyzed the sheer amount of boxes that were scattered around her living room.

"Alright!" Lucy clapped her hands together in excitement. She pushed away her remaining feelings of doubt and sadness and focused on the good. Today should be a happy day. It was a step forward. It was a step into her new life unhindered by the past. "Let's get going!" Her chipper voice made Gajeel groan, Gray roll his eyes, and Levy's laugh bounce off of the walls.

Lucy took a deep breath and beamed. She could do this.

She could move on.

* * *

Night had fallen by the time that they had lugged all of her boxes and scant amount of furniture over to her new place. Sweat coated her body and she quickly reached for a cloth to wipe her forehead with. Who knew that her small amount of stuff would be so darn heavy?

"That's the last of it." Gray huffed as he sat down her final box of books. "Why do you own so many books, Lucy?"

Lucy only rolled her eyes at him as Levy shot him a pointed look. For the entirety of the moving event Levy had taken up command while sitting at the small kitchen table. Her feet barely even touched the floor from the chair that she sat at as she swung her legs back and forth, directing the incoming flow of boxes and belongings.

"This isn't even that many compared to what Squirt owns." Gajeel nodded to himself as he analyzed Lucy's boxes of books.

"What?" Gray cried as he spun around to look at Levy. He had carted over six boxes of books, and the idea that Levy possessed even more than Lucy did seemed to boggle his mind.

Levy blushed slightly and shrugged her shoulders. "What? It's my addiction." Her petite laughter warmed up the small apartment, making Lucy smile. Gajeel walked over to Levy and slung a sweaty arm around her shoulders. Levy leaned into him, making her look even smaller than she really was. Levy's hands rested upon her large stomach, gently rubbing where the twins had been kicking her for the last twenty minutes.

Gajeel's eyebrows furrowed. "I think that it's time we head out." Levy looked up at him to protest, but Lucy cut in first.

"Thank you, for everything today." She smiled at everyone in her apartment and nearly felt tears sting her eyes. "Really, thank you so much for helping me move. It's late. You should all go and have a great night, don't let me suck up any more of your time." She met Levy's eyes and nodded slightly at her, letting her know that it really was okay for her to leave before all of the books were unpacked and properly organized. "I promise that you can help me organize my books this week sometime, okay?"

Levy's face lit up and she bounced off of the chair. "Perfect!" They said their goodbyes and Gajeel quickly ushered Levy out of the door, the look of concern on his face never leaving as Levy rubbed slow circles on her belly.

He was such a worry-wort. It was adorable.

Now, it was just Gray and her left standing in her new kitchen/living room combo.

"I can stay a bit longer and help unpack the essentials." He stated before moving over to slice open a box labeled 'kitchen'.

"If you want to…" Lucy mumbled, a little bit surprised that he was volunteering to stay even longer. Unpacking wasn't the funnest thing in the world, after all. They set to work silently, each unpacking box after box in comfortable silence. It wasn't until the kitchen was fully unpacked and put away, the living room furniture organized, and her bedroom furniture assembled that they stopped to take a break.

"You really didn't need to stay and help me with all of this." Lucy said as she motioned to her now mostly-assembled apartment. She flopped onto the couch, only to be quickly followed by a shirtless Gray.

He shrugged. "I wanted to." He looked around the apartment. "It's really coming together now, isn't it?"

Lucy smiled to herself as she glanced around as well. It was already starting to feel like home. It was still new and unfamiliar, yet it had a welcoming atmosphere that still held the remnants of Levy's laugh and Gajeel's crooked smile. "Yea, it is."

"I don't know why you really wanted to move and I don't get the feeling that I'm going to find out. But, Lucy, if it has anything to do with Natsu just give him time." Gray huffed. "I can't believe that I'm defending that ice-brained idiot."

Lucy shook her head slightly. She felt sticky all over as her dried sweat clung to her body. All that she wanted was a cup of tea and a hot shower. "I need to move on. Natsu's my partner. But…" She sighed and leveled Gray with a serious look. "I want what you have, too. I want to love and be loved. I want to get married and have babies. I want a real future. I love the guild. I love my friends. That will never change. But, I want more now."

Gray analyzed her as she spouted out her feelings. "I guess I can understand that. I…" He blushed and looked away. "I never thought that I'd want a family. Didn't even think that I deserved one."

"Gray…" She tried to cut in but he shook his head.

"That's all changed now. Juvia, she changed everything for me. I can understand wanting that."

The air of seriousness that had fallen over them was starting to make her think too much about the past. "Have you proposed yet?"

He flushed and began to squirm. "I haven't found the right moment yet."

"Mhm, sure you haven't." Lucy teased. "I'm sure that Juvia is waiting for you somewhere right now. In fact, I'm surprised that she hasn't burst in here."

"She's out on a job for the night." He looked around the apartment once more. "Now that I think about it, hasn't it been over a week since you took a job?"

Lucy nodded. "Yea, that one that I took with the group."

Gray frowned slightly. "I know that was enough for your rent… But, now with moving and the deposit… Don't you need to find some work?"

Lucy gulped and tried not to let fear worm into her heart. "Yea, I think I'll pick up something tomorrow. I had enough in my slim savings for the deposit here, but it really emptied me out. Plus, the rent here is about 30,000 Jewels more."

Gray stood up and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "If you need anyone to team up with until Natsu gets back, I'm game."

Lucy stood up and walked him towards the door, her heart warming at his kindness. "Thanks. I'll remember that." They said a quick goodbye and when the door clicked shut behind him she was finally alone.

Suddenly, the apartment felt empty.

She reached up and yanked her pony-tail out, letting her hair loose. "Time to make this place feel like home." With a deep breath, she headed into the kitchen to begin her nightly routine, enjoying the familiarity paired with her new surroundings. She could do this. She could make this place her home.

* * *

The next day, Lucy made it to the guild after lunch. Her apartment was nearly finished. All that remained were her boxes of books that awaited Levy's help. There was no way that she even dared unpacking those without the assistance of her book-loving best friend. There weren't as many people as usual at the guild today. Lucy scanned the few faces that were scattered around and quickly waved to everyone before heading towards the job request board.

"Hey, Lucy." Erza's voice surprised her, making her jump slightly. She could have sworn that Erza wasn't in the guild just a moment ago. "Looking for a job?"

Lucy nodded. "Yea, moving kind of wiped me out."

Erza's face steeled over in determination. She placed her hands on her hips and quickly scanned the board before snagging one. The paper made a slight tearing nose as it was ripped from its place. "Let's do this one together. What do you think?" She handed the paper to Lucy with a triumphant smirk upon her face.

The job was to save a kidnaped doctor. He had been missing for nearly three days and the hospital which he worked at was offering 200,000 Jewels for the safe return of him and his research.

After splitting the money with Erza, that would almost earn her enough for the entirety of next month's rent. Lucy smiled and gripped the paper slightly harder.

"Dr. Oberon…" Lucy's spare hand automatically moved to gently caress her celestial keys. "Even if we weren't getting payed, I'd want to take this job."

"I thought so." Erza's hand moved to rest upon the hilt of her sword. "Let's get going, shall we?"

They quickly went to the bar to show Mira the request in order to formally accept it before heading out of the guild. They moved quickly, unwilling to waste time. After all, kidnappings could be precarious situations. If the kidnappers got annoyed with the good doctor, or if he couldn't give them what they wanted, his life could be in danger. Before heading out of town, they went to the hospital and talked to the director who quickly thanked them and told them the last known location of the missing doctor.

By the time that they finally began to leave Magnolia, the sun was already setting. Urgency gripped Lucy's heart as they began to search. Dr. Oberon hadn't gone missing very far from town. But, by now, he could truly be anywhere. Their chances of finding him without anymore clues was growing slimmer by the hour. After walking for several hours, Erza stopped and declared that they should set up camp for the night.

It didn't take them long to prepare everything. Soon, a fire was crackling and they were eating some freshly roasted sweet potatoes. While Lucy did love the sweet taste, she wished that they had thought ahead a bit more and brought some more food along with them. They were no where near a river and it was pitch black outside of the cheery ring of light that was cast by the fire, which eliminated the possibility of hunting or fishing. Talk was limited as both of their minds were consumed with the task ahead. Erza was like that. She could become completely absorbed by a job, especially when it was a job like this. Erza, especially, hated to see kind and innocent people put through hell.

By the time that they went to sleep, Lucy was utterly exhausted. Erza had fallen asleep first, and her snores seemed twice as loud due to the utter quiet that surrounded them. Lucy sighed and rested her chin upon her knees as she stared into the flickering flames.

Natsu…

She couldn't help but be reminded of him when she was looking at something that was essentially his essence. Seriously, how did he eat that stuff? She smiled sightly as she remembered the first time that she had ever seen him ingest flames. She had thought that he had gone completely bonkers and was sure that he was about to die. After all, what human could survive eating fire?

She chuckled sightly and reached out to warm her hands. The night air was nippy, sending a shiver down her spine. The fire felt good as it kissed her skin. She closed her eyes and moved her hands a bit closer.

"Gah!" She yelped. Her eyes flew open as she yanked her hands back from the flames. Her gazed flashed to the still sleeping Erza before she looked at her hand.

Her fingers were black again.

A sense of dread swarmed her as she stared at the inky color. There was more of it than before. It covered nearly two inches of each of her long fingers. She shook as the pain ebbed and flowed, watching as the horrendous color slowly faded away. As soon as the pain was gone she clenched and unclenched her hand, staring at where the dark color used to be.

She pinched her eyes shut so tightly that she felt a headache beginning to nip at her brain.

Tomorrow, hopefully, they would find the doctor.

After that, she was going to have to ask for help.

~ Author's Note ~

Thank you for all of the reviews on chapter two! They really encourage me to write.

I really hope that you are enjoying this story so far. There are many things yet to come. I know that it may seem a bit slow paced right now, but it will pick up.

Please, review and let me know what you think!

~ FeudalAi


	4. Chapter 4

Lucy huffed as sweat slowly rolled down her body while Leo finished off the rest of the kidnappers. Leo looked over his shoulder at her, smirking in delight.

"Been a while since we had a good fight, hey Lucy?"

Lucy couldn't help but agree. She glanced down at the star dress that clung to her form. Leo's star dress always seemed particularly spectacular. It reminded her of the ballgowns that her father had forced her to wear, yet it also represented her freedom. It had a large slit on one side that reached her hip which allowed her free range of movement. She leaned her neck to the side, cracking it. "Yea, it did feel good." She took a deep breath and stilled her rapidly beating heart. The group of kidnappers had actually been quite large. Lucy had taken on about ten of them while Erza had re-quipped in order to take on the remaining twenty. Lucy turned to look at Erza's progress, only to see that she was grinding her heel into the back of their final enemy.

"Thanks for your help, Leo." She smiled at her celestial friend.

"Anytime, Lucy." He waved at her before disappearing back through his celestial gate. Lucy paused for a moment as she felt her celestial dress disappear and her original clothes reappear on her body. It was always such a weird sensation. In her mind, she assumed it was what Erza felt every time that she re-quipped her armor.

Erza lifted her head from their fallen enemy and looked at her. "Have you found the doctor yet?"

Her question rattled Lucy, who immediately shook her head and began to rummage through the knocked-out men until she found him. Dr. Oberon was staring up at her in wonder, his mouth slightly agape. He was young, much younger than she had assumed, maybe only a few years older than herself. He had shaggy, black hair that slightly covered his emerald eyes. He was lean and tan, his skin slightly browned from the sun. Even beneath the bulky lab coat that he was wearing, she could tell that he had well-defined muscles. Not nearly as defined as Natsu's, but still…

Lucy's mouth suddenly went dry before she set into action.

"Dr. Oberon?" Lucy questioned as she reached out her hand. He nodded and grabbed it, allowing her to help pull him up. In his other arm, he desperately clutched a large pile of wrinkled papers.

"Thank you, for saving me." His voice was soft, like velvet. His eyes were still glued on her, and she suddenly felt very aware of how dirty she was. Thankfully, Erza bounded up behind her breaking the doctor's trance.

"Dr. Oberon, we're so happy to see that you're okay."

The doctor's smile grew and he stood up a bit straighter. "Once again, thank you so much for saving me and my research. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost this…" His gaze traveled to the papers that he clutched before he raked in a shaky breath. He looked back up at Erza and Lucy, his emerald eyes sparkling in the last remaining rays of sunlight. "Please, call me Hikaru. Now, who do I owe my rescue to?"

Erza proudly placed her hands on her hips, looking a lot like a warrior princess. "We're from the Fairy Tail guild. I'm Erza and that's Lucy." She nodded in Lucy's direction, and Lucy beamed at Hikaru. "We would be happy to escort you back to the hospital. However…" Erza's eyes narrowed as she analyzed the falling sun. "I don't think that we will make it all the way back to Magnolia today. We are quite far away."

"Do you have anything you need, Dr. Oberon?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's Hikaru, please. Not Dr. Oberon. The both of you saved my life, I don't care for formalities." He quickly looked around him, clutching his pile of papers even tighter. "I have everything, I'm sure. Even when they threatened me, I wouldn't give them these."

Erza nodded. "Good, then let's get going. We should almost be able to make it to town before making camp. By tomorrow morning, you will be back home."

With those words, they left the kidnapper's campsite. They hurried through the woods, not talking much, as they focused on beating the sun. When night had finally fallen and they were coated in impenetrable darkness, they stopped. Erza built a fire while Lucy grabbed the last of the sweet potatoes from her bag and set about roasting them. They talked softly between each other as they simply enjoyed the night. It was becoming increasingly colder, and Lucy reveled in the heat from the fire. Before long, Erza was fast asleep and it was just Lucy and the doctor left awake. They sat in silence for a long time as the doctor stared down at his precious papers.

"Can I ask what your is research about?"

Hikaru looked up slowly, as if he was emerging from a fog, before a slow smile spread across his face. "I've been working on this for nearly ten years, ever since I started at medical school. It has been my private vendetta. I just moved to Magnolia a few months ago, actually, because this hospital wanted to fund my research." He sighed as he leaned back to look at the stars. "They actually believe in me, in my work…" He shook his head, as if he was still amazed by what he had just said. "I study diseases born from magic."

As his words settled over her, a cold chill raced down Lucy's spine, making her hands curl into tight fists. "Diseases born from magic?"

He turned to look at her fully now, the curiosity in her voice evident to him. "Magic is amazing. Truly, I wish that I possessed even a modicum of talent for it. But, I don't. However, magic puts a strain on the body and certain kinds of magic can do terrible damage that may not be able to be seen until years later. You've heard of Magical Barrier Particles, right?"

Lucy nodded her head as memories of the accursed particles filtered through her brain. They had nearly killed Laxus… They weren't something to be taken lightly.

"I've studied them, too. While those are anti-Magic particles, it is important to understand what aids and hurts the production of magic in the user." He laughed softly and rolled his eyes. "Look at me, boring you with all this stuff." He angled his face to look at her, sincerity dripping from his features.

"It's not boring…" Lucy mumbled. "I find it interesting, that you research things like that." Her gaze traveled down to her fingertips before she quickly looked back at Hikaru.

"There are so many diseases out there that have been caused by magic, yet we barely know anything about them. I want to help these people. I want to save them. Magic is amazing, in so many ways. People like you and Erza… You risk your lives to save others…"

"Well, we do usually get paid…" Lucy cut in. He simply laughed and continued.

"Even if you get paid for it, you put yourself at risk. You go up against enemies with unknown magic. If you got sick because of an aftereffect of that magic… Well, I think there should be some kind of treatment for it. I've seen at least fifteen wizards since I got here. No one nearly as talented as you guys, just people who use magic for basic things… But, even they seem to have become ill. Some have permanent headaches. Others, are always cold or blistering hot. The symptoms range as widely as I predict that there are kinds of magic. Yet, no one is studying it." A look of annoyance crossed his face. "Finally, finally, I found a solution that I think will work and those bastards were trying to take it from me."

"Well, I'm glad we saved you, so that you can save all of us."

He blushed slightly. "So, Lucy, I never caught your last name…"

"It's Heartfilia."

His jaw dropped slightly. "As in Lucy Heartfilia? The award winning author?"

Lucy's face turned bright red and she quickly hid it with her hair as she idly stared at the fire. "Um, yea."

"I can't believe this… Taki would freak out if she knew." His voice was breathy, as if he was truly shocked that he had gotten to meet her.

"You've read my book?" Lucy questioned softly, still not daring to look at him. Everyone at the guild had pretty much read it, but that was different. They were like family. She turned just enough to peer over at him. Hikaru… This man was a stranger and, for some reason, the thought of him in particular reading her book and being a fan of her writing sent a thrill throughout her body.

"It was great. I really enjoyed it, actually… With my work I don't usually have time to read anything other than reports and medical journals. But, for your book, I made a special exception." He winked at her and laughed when her face flushed more.

"I'm glad you liked it." She mumbled. Her heart sped in her chest at the thought of someone, someone that she didn't know, reading her book and actually enjoying it. "Well, we better get some sleep too. We want to get you back safely as quickly as possible tomorrow." She was about to lay down when he reached over and gently placed his warm hand upon her own, stilling her.

"Thank you, again. I know it was a job and everything… But, still… If you two hadn't come for me. I don't know what would have happened. I owe you everything. If you ever need anything, anything at all, just ask."

Lucy nodded numbly. His words echoed the sincerity that laced his face. He quickly whispered goodnight, withdrew his hand, and laid down to go to sleep.

Lucy just sat there, staring at his back as a smile spread across her face. She really was glad that they had taken this job. Maybe, just maybe, they had just saved the man who would save countless wizards in the future. Maybe, even…

Lucy grunted and laid down before looking at her hand. She stared at her palm in the flickering firelight as she slowly opened and closed her fist.

Maybe, he could even help her.

With a frustrated huff, Lucy closed her eyes and forced herself to fall into a nightmare riddled sleep.

* * *

Natsu.

Where was he?

Blackness surrounded her and her hand felt like it was on fire. She gripped her wrist as her face steeled over in pain. She fell to her knees as a silent scream ripped through her throat. The earth rumbled beneath her and she was suddenly aware that she was falling.

Her dissent was never-ending.

She tumbled through space and time, the stars swirling around her in a constant blur. She saw each of her celestial friends. They tried to catch her, their arms stretching out towards her, but they never reached her.

She just watched them with vacant, pain-filled eyes.

Then, out of the darkness, a streak of light appeared. With horror, Lucy saw sinewy black tendrils crawling up her arm and reaching for her heart.

Her pain was impossible to put into words. Her body was coated in sweat and she shivered as her body was lit on fire from within.

This was going to be the death of her.

She leaned her head back and looked at the ground that was fast approaching her falling body. The stream of light had grown and ignited the land around her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of pink and blue.

Natsu…

Happy…

She sighed and closed her eyes. They were too far away, they wouldn't be able to save her. She was only mere moments away from the ground now, only mere moments away from her sweet escape from the pain that was devouring her.

She heard Natsu call out to her. His voice sounded desperate. Like he was begging her to somehow learn how to fly.

She opened her eyes.

Three… Two…

Death was here.

One.

* * *

Lucy woke up with a start. Her hand shot to cover her rapidly beating heart.

"Is everything okay, Lucy?" Erza's worried voice forced Lucy into the present. She quickly looked at her hand and sighed in relief when the nasty black markings were nowhere to be seen.

"Yea…" Lucy took a deep breath before looking up at her red-haired friend. "I'm good. How long have you been up?" Lucy looked to the side and noted that Hikaru was gone.

"Not long, only about twenty minutes." Noting where Lucy was looking, Erza's face softened. "Don't worry, he just had to go relieve himself."

Lucy nodded at her words and moved to quickly pack up camp. She could feel Erza's eyes on her as she collected the few things that she had.

"Lucy, why did you move?"

The sincerity in Erza's voice made Lucy freeze. "I needed a fresh start." She turned and shot a big smile at Erza, trying to ease her worries. Erza only squinted at her. She was clearly about to say something, but Hikaru came back and her opened mouth snapped shut.

"We should get going." Erza declared. She motioned towards Hikaru who nodded, his face bright with his excitement. Within a few minutes, they were working their way through the woods and back to the hospital.

* * *

When Lucy had finally gotten back to her apartment later that night she was exhausted. They had returned the doctor and his research and promptly collected their reward. She felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off of her chest at the thought of money actually being in her bank account again. She sat at her desk in the living room, staring out of the large window above it. She loved having her desk facing outside. When writer's block would hit her, as it often did, she could look out and watch the parade of people on the street below. She gripped her pencil and forced her tired eyes back onto the journal before her.

She simply had to get something written today.

Her fast approaching deadline didn't care if she had to go on a job or that her heart was consumed with thoughts about a pink-haired dragon-slayer.

Her fingers dove into her hair as she rested her head against her palm, allowing herself to write freely from the emotions that were swirling inside of her.

 _Day was fading into night as Stella made her way into Sunrise Park. She could already see Blaise's silhouette. He was sitting on a swing, his heels in the dirt, slowly pushing himself back and forth._

 _She gulped and grabbed the bottom edge of her shirt, her fingers digging into the thin material._

 _Slowly, she walked towards him. When she finally sat down on the swing beside him, he didn't turn to look at her. He stopped moving all together, seemingly surprised by her appearance. When it was clear that he wasn't about to begin talking anytime soon, she turned to look at the setting sun and gently rocked the swing back and forth._

 _They sat like that for a while, the only noise the sound of small birds chirping and fluffy animals scurrying home. She was starting to wonder why he had even asked her to come if he hadn't planned on talking, when he finally began._

 _"_ _There was a rumor…" He began. She immediately stopped rocking and turned to look at him. He was staring down at the dirt, his shoulders hunched. "… About my brother."_

 _Stella gasped and he finally turned to look at her. His eyes seemed to glisten in the fading light, hinting at the pain that engulfed him. "Colby? Did you find him?"_

 _He shook his head. "No… It was only rumors. I went running through the countryside for a whole damn year chasing a stupid rumor." His lips twisted into a scowl. "I left this town, this place, so fast that even my Dad hadn't been able to stop me. Not like he could have anyway, I'm old enough to leave home. He couldn't have stopped me. No one could have." He laughed, deep and fake. "I was so stupid to believe that I had found him, ya know? I ran off and I didn't even tell you why… How could I have been so stupid?" His face shape-shifted between bitter anger and grief before he turned away from her._

 _"_ _Blaise…" His name was barely more than a whisper and, without even realizing it, she had reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. He stiffened beneath her touch before relaxing. "You could have told me. I would have understood. It was about Colby, after all. I would have never gotten in your way."_

 _He grunted. "I know."_

 _"_ _Then why?" Her voice cracked sharply and she quickly withdrew her hand. "Why didn't you tell me."_

 _His knuckles turned white as he gripped the chains of the swing. "I couldn't."_

 _She stood up and stomped over to him, placing herself firmly in front of him. Her hands gripped her hips as she stared down at him. "Why couldn't you? Why?" She hated how shaky her voice sounded when she was trying to be strong._

 _He lifted his head to look at her, his face serious. "I couldn't, Stella." Her heart thumped when he said her name. "If I had told you… If I had seen you… Ugh…" He sighed in frustration and ran a hand down his face, his serious expression never once leaving. "If I had seen you I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have been able to leave."_

 _Stella's eyes bulged. Her whole body tingled with a swarm of feelings that she didn't quite understand. "Why…" The words tumbled from her mouth. "Why wouldn't you have been able to leave."_

 _"_ _You know why."_

 _His words shook her. The thing was, she didn't know why. She took a small step back and shook her head. "I… I don't know why."_

 _His face shifted in surprise as he quickly stood up, the swing's chains rattling slightly from the sudden movement. He stepped towards her and lifted his hand until he was suddenly brushing her arm, sending tendrils of delight shooting through her body. His touch was feather-light, his fingers just barely touching her, yet he still made her breathless._

 _She bit her lip._

 _Her cheeks flushed a deep red._

 _Her heart hammered in her chest._

 _She felt like she was about to explode when he finally stepped away from her, his eyes lost in the reds and oranges of the sunset._

 _As soon as he wasn't looking at her, she quickly pinched her arm to make herself come back down to earth. In those few moments, she could have sworn that he… That he…_

 _That he liked her._

 _No. She shouted in her head. Simply, no. Blaise didn't like her. They were best friends, that was all. They cared about each other, as friends. She didn't want to fool herself. She didn't want to let herself hope. Hope, after all, was a dangerous thing._

 _Once her heart had slowed to a somewhat normal speed, she turned and stood beside him, determined to change the topic. "What was the rumor?"_

 _He shifted beside her, their shoulders nearly touching. "I shouldn't have believed it in the first place. I could have sworn that I saw him, in the newspaper. There was a picture and it was exactly what I imagined he would look like if he was still around. His name wasn't Colby in the article, it was Daryle. But, the picture…" He groaned before he continued. "I went running after a rumor, after a misunderstanding, from some damn newspaper article about a traveling bonsai salesman. How stupid could I be?"_

 _She wrapped her arm around him, encircling him in a half hug as they watched the final tendrils of the sun sink into the horizon. "You weren't stupid. You just had hope."_

Lucy smiled down at what she had written, the story slowly coming together in her mind. Her entire body felt numb from lack of energy and from the tingling swarm of emotions that relentlessly engulfed her body.

Natsu…

"Gah!" She basically screamed as she shoved away from her desk and bolted towards the kitchen. "Tea…" She mumbled. "I need tea…"

Great, now she was even talking to herself.

Absentmindedly, she grabbed Plue's silver key and called him. His presence immediately livened up her new home, temporarily helping her to forget about Natsu. Just as the kettle was boiling, the pain came back. She was so surprised that she dropped to her knees, clutching her wrist. Plue quickly rushed her, his small, paw-like hands coming to rest upon her knee as he looked up at her in concern.

"Plue, plue, plue…" He mumbled as her face twisted in pain.

"I'm okay, Plue." She grunted out as fear grew in her heart. "I'm okay."

She wanted to scream.

She wanted to crumble into dust.

She wanted to dive into a pool of ice-cold water.

Just as she thought that she couldn't handle the pain anymore, the ugly black color began to recede and the pain faded away. Sweat dripped off of her, making her entire body slick. She sucked in a few deep breaths before reaching over and petting Plue on his head, reassuring the adorable spirit.

The kettle was screaming at her now, so she stood up and carefully poured herself a cup of tea, her hands shaking the entire time. She slowly lifted the cup to her lips and took a small sip.

She needed help.

She couldn't wait anymore.

An image of Hikaru flashed through her mind. He was researching mysterious diseases like this. She knew that she should go talk to Porlyusica, but she lived so far away and for some reason the thought of the guild somehow finding out about it really bothered her. She didn't want them to worry.

It was settled. Tomorrow, she would go to the hospital and talk to Hikaru. She sat there for hours, absentmindedly rubbing her fingers, feeling like they had somehow betrayed her.

* * *

Dr. Oberon's eyebrows furrowed as he analyzed her test results. They were sitting in his small office. The entire space was cluttered with thick medical books and piles of manila folders. She had been there for hours already as they ran every test imaginable on her. Her hands were clamped together in her lap, her palms sweaty as she waited. With a soft sigh and a weary expression, he set the results down and looked at her.

"I'm glad you came to me." The way that he was speaking made her even more nervous. His voice was soft and full of an emotion that she couldn't quite place. "I'm very sorry, Lucy, but you do appear to have contracted a serious illness. I've never seen anything quite like it. It's entirely unique, which isn't good. I'll have to run more experiments. I'll have to do a lot more research. It's clear that your disease was caused because of magic, yet I can't seem to pinpoint the exact cause yet."

Lucy stopped breathing.

She felt like she was choking on thin air.

He smiled sympathetically at her before he continued. "From what I've been able to gather so far, it seems that these 'black tendrils' are attacking your nervous system. I'm not going to lie to you, Lucy. I'm not going to hide anything from you. Honestly, at this rate, it doesn't look good." He sucked in his bottom lip, seemingly having a hard time saying what needed to be said.

She hated herself for the tears that she could feel stinging her eyes. She took a shaky breath and forced words through her numb lips. "How bad, exactly, is it?"

He leveled her with the most sincere look that she had ever seen. "You could die, Lucy."

At that, her entire world became a blur.

* * *

Natsu.

She wanted Natsu.

Lucy laid in her bed, clutching her knees to her chest, as Hikaru's voice echoed in her head. She could die… This nasty, black, whatever it was could kill her. They had no clue what it was, they had no clue how to treat it…The thing that was slowly crawling up her body was a complete and utter mystery.

Before she had left the hospital, she had agreed to return the next day for more tests. In fact, Hikaru wanted her to come by every single day so that he could monitor the disease's progress.

She understood why he wanted to do that, she really did, but…

But, if she did that people at the guild definitely would find out.

"Ugh!" She groaned and shoved her face into her pillow. Why was this happening? Most of her life was going amazing. She had been published, won an award, and had a deadline fast approaching for her second novel. She had a new apartment and amazing friends. She had even gotten to kiss Natsu, even though that hadn't really worked out the way that she wished it had. She was so close to having the life that she had always dreamed of, but now it was about to be ripped away from her. "It's not going to happen." She weakly declared, her voice shaky. "I won't die. No matter what, it won't happen." Natsu's infectious grin flashed through her mind and she felt her heart warm. She flopped onto her back, spread eagle on the bed, as she stared up at the plain white ceiling. "Come home already, don't you know that I need you?"

* * *

There was a tugging on Natsu's heart. A stupid, incessant tugging that wouldn't let up. All Natsu wanted to do was spin on his heel and sprint back to Magnolia, back to the guild, back to Lucy…

This stupid, stupid, stupid job. He wanted to leave, but he wouldn't leave it half done. He wasn't going to leave the client hanging. He wasn't like that. All that he knew was that he wanted to rush through this job. He wanted to get it done as quickly as possible, regardless of how rough it was on his body.

He had already given up sleeping except for a few hours here and there.

Happy was so exhausted that he mostly slept on his shoulder.

He just kept moving, like a robot, with a level of single-mindedness that he had never experienced before.

He was sick of this.

Sick of being away from her. Even if they would only ever be friends, he was sick of being away from her.

He needed her.

"I'm coming, Luce. As quick as I can."

* * *

Days rolled into weeks. Levy came over and sorted Lucy's books. Gray finally worked up the nerve to propose to Juvia, on accident. Erza and Jellal had gone out on several more dates. Levy looked like she was about to explode. Yet, Lucy felt stuck. She could see the world revolving around her, but she was glued down, unable to move. Every single day, she would sneak away from her friends and disappear for an hour to have more and more tests run on her. Every single day, she would sit there and talk with Hikaru. They talked about everything, not just about her medical issues. He would come and sit with her while the nurses poked and prodded her. He would distract her from the needles while she clutched Plue in her lap.

Hikaru… He was nice.

He was her sole savior in that cold, sterile place. He brought light to it. He was the friend that she needed. For some reason, she was able to share things with him that she couldn't seem to say to her friends from the guild.

Now, she sat in an uncomfortable beige chair as a nurse took several vials worth of blood from her. Hikaru sat by her side, his face grim as he watched the blood being extracted. He was completely zoned out, and Lucy couldn't resist… She reached over and poked him in the forehead, making him jump.

"Don't look so worried, it stresses me out." Lucy pouted, puffing out her bottom lip.

His grimace immediately split into a smile. "Sorry, Lucy. I just wished that I was making more progress…" His smile fell and Lucy's heart thundered. Without thinking, she reached out and yanked on a lock of his hair, making him yelp. The nurse looked up at them briefly before removing the needle and putting a bandage over the small hole.

"Dr. Oberon…" Lucy began before he reached out and flicked her in the forehead.

"What have I told you about calling me that?" He playfully chastised as she rubbed her forehead.

"What about 'do no harm', huh?" She teased before rolling her eyes. "Hikaru, maybe I'm getting better. It's been several days since the darkness appeared." Lucy flexed her hand and looked down at her fingers.

"Don't count on it, Lucy. I'd like to tell you otherwise, but we haven't really made any progress. You've been taking the herbal medication, but we still haven't pinpointed the exact kind of magic that's hurting you." He reached out and placed a comforting hand on top of her own. She blushed before slowly withdrawing her hand.

"Well, do I have any more tests that need to be done on me today?"

He shook his head. "We'd just like you to stay for observation, like usual."

Lucy squeezed Plue. "You don't have to sit here with me, ya know."

"I know." He stated bluntly. "But, I want to."

"There's no way you actually have time to sit here. I mean, you're a busy doctor discovering new amazing treatments for people like me." She motioned to herself, not quite able to stop the smile that flitted across her face.

"I don't have time. You're right. But, I'll make time. For you." His words washed over her in a pleasant wave.

Hikaru… He really was nice.

She leaned her head back and stared up at the paneled ceiling. "All this time that we have spent together here, we've talked a lot about me, but we haven't talked much about you. I know your name, that your favorite color is orange, that you love lobster thermidor, and that you just moved here shortly before I met you."

"Well, what else do you wanna know? I'm an open book." He spread his arms out wide, his grin contagious. Lucy smiled back and, for a brief moment, she was able to forget about the mysterious disease that threatened to claim her life.

They sat and talked for what felt like forever, but was only a bit more than a half hour. It was always in this small bit of time with him while they supposedly observed her that she felt the most relaxed. It was before this, and after this, that fear would creep back into her heart. She may not have known him for very long, but he had snuck into her heart. He had quickly maneuvered his way in due to his kindness and the way that he listened to her. He cared about what she was feeling. He didn't just care about the mystery that ran in her veins. He cared about everything. He wanted to know her favorite color. He wanted to know where she was born, when she learned to ride a bike, what it was like growing up in her hometown. He wanted to know about her parents. He wanted to know about her adventures.

Somehow, miraculously, he was fascinated by it all. Even more amazingly, she had been able to open up to him without thinking twice. She had simply stared up at that cold, hospital ceiling and spilled her guts to her would-be-savior.

Every time that she stepped foot back into the real world, she couldn't help but wonder why it was so easy to talk to him. Why had she been able to open up to, basically, a complete stranger?

Lucy sighed as she exited the hospital. The sun felt blindingly bright and she quickly shaded her eyes. Hikaru's stories were rolling through her head as she tried to stave off the fear that she knew was coming. He had told her about when he was six and wanted to be a bird, so he tried to live in a tree. He hadn't even been in the big willow tree for more than three hours before he fell out of it, breaking his leg in the process. It was because of that experience that he wanted to become a doctor. He had been so amazed by the doctor that had fixed his leg, transfixed was the word that he had used, that from that point forward he had been determined to be just like him.

Lucy smiled at the memory of Hikaru's face as he had told the story. She was completely lost in the memory, trying to stay within its happy confines for as long as possible, when she caught sight of the sun glinting off of a silver cross necklace.

Oh, shit.

"Lucy?" Gray's voice shook her. She was barely a few feet out of the hospital.

He had caught her.

She raised her head and sheepishly looked at Gray as she reached to cover the band-aid on her arm from where they had drawn blood. "Oh, hey Gray."

His eyes darted down to where she hid the band-aid before he looked up at her accusingly. "Did you just come out of the hospital?"

Lucy didn't answer. She couldn't answer. She looked away from him, unable to meet his gaze. They stood like that for several long moments before she felt him wrap his strong arms around her in a fierce hug.

"Lucy, why didn't you tell me that something was wrong?"

His whispered words broke her and before she could stop herself the tears that she had been holding back for weeks escaped and she collapsed into Gray's arms.

~ Author's Note ~

So, I know I did a bit of a time jump. I'm sorry about that. What do you think of Hikaru so far? There will be a lot more dialogue with him, but I didn't want to bore you with him and Lucy giving each other their backstories.

The story is really picking up now. A couple weeks have gone by and that means that Natsu is that much closer to being back. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter.

Please, please review and let me know what you think. Your reviews are what keep me writing.

~ FeudalAi


	5. Chapter 5

Gray basically carried her back to her apartment. She was limp in his icy arms. She couldn't speak. She could barely even process her own thoughts after he had caught her red-handed. By the time that they had made it over her threshold, her tears had finally dried. Gray sat her down on the couch before sitting beside her, his eyes piercing into her.

"Lucy, what is going on?"

She twisted away from him, biting her bottom lip.

"Stop it." Gray snapped. He reached forward and lightly gripped her chin, forcibly turning her to face him. His touch lingered there for a moment before he let go, his eyes demanding. "Just tell me, Lucy."

"I'm sick…" She couldn't seem to say more. The words dried up in her throat and suddenly she felt completely parched.

"What's wrong, exactly?"

His face was so serious that she couldn't help but laugh. It started small as she considered his question, before it tumbled out of her in bursts. His face shifted, his confusion at her odd reaction almost palpable.

"What's so funny?" Anger seeped into his voice. "I'm being serious, Lucy."

She choked back her laughter, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady herself. "It is funny, though." She spit the words out between her fading laughs. "We don't know, exactly, what is wrong." As the words left her mouth she felt suddenly sober, her playful attitude forgotten. Her hand fell off of his shoulder and returned to her lap. "All that we know is that it was caused by magic."

Gray gulped. The movement was so slow and deliberate that she could clearly see the overdramatic movement of his jugular. "Then…"

Lucy shook her head, her blonde hair cascading down around her shoulders. "Then, we don't know how to treat it. We are experimenting with different treatments, but nothing has helped yet."

"Lucy…" Her voice was feather soft on his lips. He reached forward and grabbed both of her hands, wrapping his own around them comfortingly. "It's not serious though, right? I mean, you look fine." His face scrunched up as he carefully analyzed every inch of her, inspecting her for signs of her mysterious disease.

His eyes were wide, pleading. Lucy didn't want to tell him. She really didn't… She didn't want to tell him the truth that she knew and feared.

But, selfishly, she didn't want to be alone with it any longer either.

"Gray… If we don't figure out some kind of treatment for it soon… If it keeps progressing like it has been…" She took a deep breath, steadying herself to say the words that needed to be said. "I could die, Gray."

First, he froze. Then, his eyes went wide and he scoffed. "Stop playing, Lucy. It isn't funny." His voice was a half-laugh. She kept her gaze steady, waiting for him to look at her once more. Her heart beat unsteadily in her chest as she watched his humor fall away and fear begin to take its place. "You're not joking, are you?" Terror clung to his words.

"I'm not joking. I really could die."

Gray sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes widening as he watched her. She pulled her hands out of his and nervously pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Lucy… Why haven't you told anyone? I'm here for you. We are all here for you. You can make it through this. I know it. You've been through worse, after all."

Lucy forced a small smile onto her face in a vain attempt to cheer him up. He didn't fall for it. "I just couldn't… I don't know why. I just don't want anyone to know. I don't want to be treated differently." She leaned back against the couch, breaking eye contact. "We've all been through so much. If this was a physical enemy, I'd be sure that we could defeat it. But…" Lucy sighed and flung her head to look back at Gray, her frustration clear on her face. "This is something inside of me and I don't know how to beat it! I've been going to that hospital every single day for weeks now and we've made no progress. None. Zilch!"

"Lucy…" He reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her from hitting her leg. She looked down at their intwined hands slowly. She hadn't even realized that she had been pounding her fist into her thigh. What was happening to her? "Breathe, Lucy. We'll figure this out. I promise."

She wanted to believe his words. She wanted to believe them more than anything. Yet, they rang false. She could hear his doubt.

She could hear his fear.

"Even if you don't tell the whole guild, you should at least tell your friends. Levy. Erza." He took a shaky breath before almost whispering the next name. "Natsu…"

She jerked away from him, yanking her hand back into her own lap. "I…" She gulped. The air around her felt heavy. "I can't." She drew in quick breaths, suddenly feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen in the room. "I just…" A sharp pain stabbed her chest and she began to rub the spot that it echoed from. She pinched her eyes shut and leaned forward, trying to steady her breathing. Yet, the pain only intensified and she suddenly felt so unbelievably hot that she couldn't focus. Fear gripped her heart as she sucked in greedy breaths. Gray scooted over and began to rub small, concentric circles on her back while emitting a small amount of his ice magic in order to cool her down.

"Breathe, Lucy. Just focus on breathing. Nice and slow." The deep timber of his voice kept her grounded. His kind touch and soft voice guided her away from the panic that gripped her. She didn't know how long they stayed like that before the pain finally went away and she felt like she could breathe again, her panic attack over.

"Gray…" Tears bubbled out of her eyes as she turned to face him. "I'm scared."

He pulled her into his side, his arms wrapped protectively around her. "I know, Lucy. I know."

She leaned into him and allowed herself to fall to pieces. She crumbled. Physically exhausted and mentally drained from the day's events.

She wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, but she awoke at some point in the middle of the night tucked into her bed. She was about to get up when she noticed him.

Gray was still there.

He was fast asleep, sitting beside her bed, with his head leaned back against the mattress. He was shirtless, as usual, and Lucy couldn't help but smile.

She had such amazing friends. She really was lucky.

She rolled onto her side and reached over, gently ruffling his hair. "Goodnight, Gray." She whispered as she tucked her hand back under the covers.

"Night, Lucy…" His sleeping form mumbled drowsily.

With that, she finally fell into a comfortable sleep, soothed by the fact that someone she could rely on was so close.

* * *

The next day, Gray demanded to go with her to her doctor appointment. He sat beside her as the nurse drew blood. He sat beside her and threw eye daggers at Hikaru, making her roll her eyes. He sat there as she listened to Hikaru, once again, tell her that they still hadn't figured out what was going on. He sat there, silent as stone, while she attempted to chat with the doctor as she usually did.

It was awkward, to say the least.

When Hikaru excused himself for a moment to check on a patient, she turned accusing eyes onto Gray. "Come on, why are you so quiet?"

Gray grunted. "I don't know if I like him."

"He is an amazing doctor. He is trying really hard to figure out what is wrong with me."

Gray leaned back, somehow shirtless again, and crossed his arms. "I guess. I just think he might have an ulterior motive."

Lucy's cheeks heated, but she shook her head. "We are friends. That's all."

Gray grunted again, clearly not believing her. Hikaru walked back over at that moment and quickly re-took his seat.

"Well, our observations for the day are over. I'm really sorry, Lucy. I was hoping that by now we would have at least made some progress." He growled slightly in frustration.

"It's okay, I understand."

He shook his head at her sympathetic tone. "If I just knew what magic caused this, then I could come up with some kind of treatment." His voice was uncharacteristically harsh and she reached over and rested her hand on his arm. He stilled beneath her touch and she gently removed her hand.

"We still have time. It hasn't appeared in a few days."

"Come back as soon as it appears." He took a deep breath and his emerald eyes clashed into her. "Please." He sounded almost needy.

She smiled at him and began to stand up. "Of course I will."

Hikaru smiled at her once more, then nodded at Gray, before departing. Gray turned and looked at her, giving her that all-knowing look that could only mean one thing.

"Told ya."

She jabbed him gently in the gut with her elbow. "There's nothing between us. Seriously. We've just become really good friends really fast because of this whole ordeal." She motioned to herself as they made their way out of the hospital. Gray kept close to her side, constantly keeping watch over her. They walked in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"What did you mean exactly when you said that it hadn't appeared?"

Lucy bit her lip, suddenly nervous. "Sometimes… I'm not sure what the cause is… But, sometimes you can see it. It's like these inky, black tendrils that start at my fingertips and are working their way up. They hurt so much. I feel like I'm on fire. Then, they fade away." Gray jerked to a halt beside her, startling her. She turned to look back at him only to find him staring down at his hands accusingly. "Gray?" Her voice dangled in the silence between them. He didn't say anything. His head lurched upwards to meet her own. Before she knew what was happening, he roughly grabbed her wrist and began to drag them back the way that they had come. "Gray?" She questioned again, louder and more urgently than before.

"I know what's wrong with you." His grip tightened on her even more. It was starting to hurt. "Fuck it, Lucy! If you had just told me sooner…" His frustration was a real, physical thing that pressed down upon them. He yanked her through the hospital doors, not even giving her the chance to speak again, before he had basically flung her into Hikaru's office. Hikaru looked up at them, his emerald eyes wide, as Gray forced her down into one of the two open chairs.

"Hello again. Is something wrong? Why did you come back?" Hikaru's eyes were flashing between the two of them as Gray plopped down in the other chair.

"I don't know." Lucy mumbled as she eyed Gray.

Gray's knuckles turned white as he gripped the armrests of his chair. "I know what's wrong with her."

Hikaru dropped his pencil, the clatter of it upon his desk the only noise in the small room. "You what?" Shock laced the doctor's voice, and Lucy couldn't blame him. She felt just as surprised and confused as him.

"I said, I know what's wrong with her." Gray sucked in a deep breath before he continued, his nervous eyes lingering on Lucy. "It happened a while ago. Lucy she… She did something to save a friend…"

Lucy gasped.

Suddenly, she could see it. She knew, instantly, what had caused her illness.

She felt frozen as Gray continued to speak.

"She had to re-write this book that was filled with magic writing. The magic was strong, very strong. When it was leaving the book it tried to transfer to her. It looked like black vines crawling up her body. She started to overheat, she was basically steaming, and when they nearly reached her heart her whole body stiffened." Lucy could hear the wood in his chair begin to splinter beneath his strong grip. "I tried to fix it and I thought that it had worked." Lucy watched as his color shifted. Black began to spread up his arm and even covered part of his face.

His ice demon-slayer form.

Hikaru's breath hitched as he watched the ice-mage. "Her markings went away?"

Gray nodded firmly, all business. "I thought that I had killed whatever magic was trying to enter her. I thought that I had gotten it all… Cleary, I was wrong."

Lucy remembered that moment. She could remember when he had grabbed her, banishing the demon magic that had been trying to take her over. She hadn't thought much about it since then. She had no reason to think that it would be a problem in the future.

How could she be so stupid?

Why hadn't she realized it sooner?

Hikaru was all business now. His elbows were propped up on his desk and his chin rested in his clasped hands. "I have a request. Next time her marks appear, try to get rid of them the same way that you did before. If we are lucky, maybe that is all that it will take to fix it. If not, we will know that the magic has morphed into something new. Either way, it's a start." He nodded to himself, evaluating their reactions. "Sound good?"

Lucy barely managed to nod a faint yes. Her mind was lost in a daze as she processed everything. Afterwards, while they were exiting the hospital once again, she realized something very important. It was a realization that shook her, making her mouth feel numb and her fingers tingle.

If the price of re-writing Natsu's book and saving his life was her own life, she didn't care. She could deal with that.

If there was one person in this world that she would give up her life to save, it was his.

It wasn't until they were nearly back at her apartment that she noticed just how stiff Gray had become. He was avoiding eye contact, staring down at his hands, seemingly lost in thought.

"Gray?" He didn't look up at her, but his hands curled into fists. "You know, whatever happens, it isn't your fault." He didn't respond. "Listen to me. Nothing is your fault, Gray. You saved me back then." He still didn't meet her eyes. No matter how much poking or prodding she did, he wouldn't respond to her. He simply walked her to her door before muttering out an excuse that she didn't catch before disappearing.

When she was finally alone within her apartment she felt like the world was caving in around her. She slid down her door slowly as her knees gave out from beneath her. She looked at her hand, marveling at its flesh-toned color. How could it go from this, to something so horrible?

Maybe, now that they knew what had caused her illness, they would be able to actually come up with a treatment. Maybe, now, she would finally start to get better.

Maybe, she wouldn't die…

A sharp pain stabbed at her heart and she immediately began to rub her chest. She breathed deep, trying not to think about the worse-case scenario. "Calm down, Lucy. Don't let the panic attack win." She breathed through the sharp, stabbing pain and pinched her eyes shut. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." She whispered to herself, not quite believing her own words.

She stood up on shaky legs, brushing away a few stray tears. "Come on Lucy, you're better than this." With a frustrated huff, she walked over to her desk. She flipped open her journal, grabbed her pencil, and stared blankly down at Stella and Blaise's story.

Her thoughts swirled as her emotions waged a full-on war inside of her.

Why couldn't love be simple? Why couldn't her heart want someone that actually wanted her back? Why did she have to be the one sitting here, missing him?

Natsu.

Her thoughts always rotated back to him. No matter where she was. No matter what she was doing. He would creep into her mind. His mop of pink hair would float into her mind's eye, interrupting her daily life.

Her fingers tightened on her pencil as her inability to write crushed her. She wanted to write a happy story. She wanted to write about two people madly in love overcoming all obstacles in their way.

Right now, she simply wasn't in the mood to be hopeful about love.

Her heart wasn't filled with love, it was filled with fear. Fear for her disease. Fear for when Natsu returned and they would have to deal with had happened between them. Fear that Gray blamed himself. Fear that she would die. Fear that the black vines would wrap around her heart…

Fear that she would die before she had ever even been truly loved.

She gulped and her forehead crashed down onto her desk. The dull pain bounced through her skull, temporarily numbing her thoughts. Memories from the day that she had re-wrote Natsu's book invaded her.

Had she re-wrote it wrong?

Was it her fault that this was happening?

She bit her lip, quickly dislodging that idea. If she was going to put the blame on anyone, it should be placed firmly upon Zeref's shoulders. Still, holding hate in her heart for someone that she had actually pitied wouldn't do her any good.

She groaned and lifted her head up. Giving up on writing for the day, she walked over to her bookshelf and snagged a book. She plopped down onto her couch and ran her fingers over the smooth cover before she became lost within its wonderful, artificial world.

* * *

It was dark out by the time that she heard a gentle knock on her door. She closed her book, only just noticing how hungry she was, before standing up and opening it. Gray stood there, fully clothed for once, eyeing her nervously. She ushered him inside and he quickly darted over to her couch.

"Gray…" Her voice chased after him as she slowly followed him back over to the couch.

"Lucy, don't." He whispered. His hair blocked her view of his eyes. "Sorry for running off earlier, I just had to go see Juvia."

Lucy nodded, understanding. "Of course. Why would I have a problem with you going to see your new fiancé?" She poked him in the ribs as she sat down beside him, teasing him.

He lifted his head, a small smile on his lips. "I can still hardly believe it."

Lucy laughed softly. "Me too, considering how you proposed." Gray's cheeks blushed bright red and Lucy's laughter spilled over.

"It wasn't that bad…" He muttered under his breath, his blush only growing stronger. It snaked down his neck and tinted his ears.

"Gray, you were at the ice cream truck! I mean, half-way through a sentence about different ice cream flavors you suddenly called her your wife and, from what I can tell, it all just went upside down from there."

Gray rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, in the end she did say yes."

"Of course she did, after she had awoken from her fainting spell. You called her your wife before even actually proposing. That was gutsy." Lucy beamed at him. She truly was happy for him.

"I wouldn't call it gutsy. It wasn't how I had planned it at all."

"How had you planned it?" Her question, soft and innocent, made the rest of the tension lingering in his body dissipate.

"After getting ice cream, we were going to go for a walk in the nearby park. Once the stars appeared… Ugh, that's when I was going to ask her. I didn't know what I was going to say, exactly, but that's how I had wanted to do it."

"I wouldn't worry about it. Juvia loves that you called her your wife like that. I think, somehow, it ended up happening in an even better way than you had envisioned."

"You may be right about that, weirdo." He reached over and ruffled her blonde hair before she promptly stuck her tongue out at him.

"What are you doing back here, anyways? Shouldn't you be spending time with Juvia?"

He froze before turning away from her, his playful attitude forgotten. "I told her I had a mission."

"Why would…"

He cut her off. "I need to be here. If it appears, I need to be here. Please, let me stay on the couch."

Lucy gulped, her eyes wide as she watched her friend. He was wringing his hands, studiously avoiding eye contact with her. "Why didn't you tell Juvia the truth?"

He sighed heavily before turning to look at her with half-closed eyes. "I didn't want to spill your secret. I knew that you didn't want anyone from the guild knowing."

Shock hit her as she realized that she had, in not so many words, asked Gray to lie for her. She didn't want him lying to Juvia. It wasn't right, for him to lie to her. She pinched her eyes shut tightly before she managed to speak. "I'll let you stay on one condition?"

"What is it?" His eye searched her, looking for clues.

"That you tell Juvia the truth." Her eyes held him captive, her decision etched firmly across her face. "The whole truth. Just… Please, tell her not to let anyone else know for now. I'm not ready for that, yet."

His mouth fell open as he listened to her words. "Oh, um, okay. I'll tell her tomorrow, Lucy."

"Good." She nodded.

The rest of the night sped by in a blur. Lucy made dinner and they ate together, idle chit-chat filling the space between them until they went to sleep. Gray kept a careful watch over her all night, making her feel subconscious. She knew that he was only acting like that because he cared. She knew that he felt like her illness was his fault.

It wasn't his fault, though. It really wasn't.

She would just have to grind that into his thick skull.

* * *

Natsu nearly groaned as he stepped foot in Magnolia again. It was well into the night now and the moon served as his only light until he reached the gently lit streets. Happy flew above him, a cheerful blue blur, as they made their way to Lucy's apartment.

It felt so fucking good to be back.

Nerves swirled in his stomach as they got closer to Lucy's place. He was nervous to see her again. He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't know what he was going to do. All he knew was that he wanted to see her, that he needed to see her.

"Feels good to be back, hey buddy?" Natsu stretched, his back popping as he did so.

"Aye, sir!"

Natsu smirked at his friend as they finally reached Lucy's place. He looked up at the building, eyeing her second story window, as his nerves danced in his stomach making him feel all tingly and unsure of himself. Her light wasn't on and the sudden thought of scaring her made his lips twitch up into a wicked smile.

"Happy, go open the window." He waggled his eyebrows and Happy quickly covered his giggle, clearly understanding that Natsu wanted to scare the living daylights out of Lucy. He quickly flew up to the window and grabbed its edge, attempting to pull it open. He yanked once, twice, then a third time before he flew back down to his partner, a concerned look on his face.

"It's locked."

Natsu froze, his eyes widening slightly. Lucy never locked her window. "Are you sure?" His voice was timid, weak.

Happy nodded. "Yep, it's locked." His face fell and he looked up nervously at Lucy's closed window. "Do you think Luce's okay?" Concern filled his voice and Natsu grunted.

"Come on, let's find out." Natsu stormed inside of the apartment building, quickly climbing the stairs until he was standing outside of Lucy's door. He rose his hand to knock, but his knuckles stopped mere millimeters from the wood.

Had Lucy locked her window because of him? Was she mad at him? Did she not want to be his friend anymore?

He gulped and forced himself to knock on the door. The sound was loud in the dead of the night. He heard Lucy moving on the other side of the door as she moved to open it. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, ruffling his pink locks.

This was it.

Regardless of his own feelings, he didn't want to lose her. He couldn't. Even if nothing ever happened between them, he still wanted to be by her side, forever.

The door opened and he sucked in a sharp breath. This was it.

"Hello? Why are you knocking on my door at this hour?" A gruff voice snapped at him and Natsu's eyes went wide in disbelief.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Before him stood a half dressed man. Everything about him screamed average. Average build, average looks… His face was twisted in frustration as he eyed Natsu.

Natsu couldn't help but gape. Where was Lucy? What had this man done to her?

"Where's Lucy?" He snapped, pushing passed the man and shoving his way into the apartment. The man grunted as Natsu intruded.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" He grabbed Natsu's arm, yanking him back.

Natsu's eyes quickly skimmed Lucy's apartment. Everything was different. But, most importantly, she wasn't there. His entire body went stiff as dread and anger filled his heart. Slowly, he turned to face the man that had dared to answer Lucy's door.

Natsu's face looked like murder. He could feel smoke beginning to billow from his mouth, but he didn't care. The man's eyes widened in terror.

"Where the fuck is Lucy?" The man let go of him and Natsu cracked his knuckles.

"I…" The man gulped, backing away until he was pressed against the far wall. "I don't know who you're talking about."

Natsu looked to the side to see Happy shooting the man an equally deadly look. "She's our friend!" Happy cried, his paws curling into small fists. The man's eyes shot up to the blue cat, his terror growing.

"This is her apartment." Natsu snapped.

The man immediately relaxed, heaving a sigh of relief as he collapsed onto the floor. Natsu glanced at Happy, confused by the stranger's odd reaction.

"Oh, you mean the person who had this place before me? She moved out a couple of weeks ago."

Natsu's brain went numb as he tried to process what he had just been told. It only took a few seconds before his anger overcame every other emotion in his body.

"She did what?!"

* * *

Lucy made her way to the guild slowly. It had been a long morning, with Gray keeping a careful and annoying watch over her.

"You know, you don't need to follow me around. I'm not a child."

Gray huffed. They were nearly at the guild now. "Just staying close so that I can kill that damn disease whenever it comes back."

Lucy stopped in her tracks and placed a firm hand on Gray's folded arms. "Gray, you do know that you may not be able to stop it. It might not work." She took a deep breath and leveled him with her eyes. "It's not your fault that I'm sick and it won't be your fault if I…"

"Don't say it." His words were choked.

She smiled sadly. "It wont be your fault if I don't get better. It won't be your fault if I… Die." Her words were soft and she watched as his face hardened, not showing her any of the emotions that he was feeling. He shook her off and stormed passed her, heading into the guild before she could stop him. She watched him go, knowing that he needed some time alone. She placed her hand over her heart, trying to calm the fear that resided there.

She had to stop thinking about it. Thinking about what could happen to her was going to destroy her. She had to be positive. In the very least, she had to at least try to be hopeful.

She plastered on a smile and hurried into the guild, effectively ignoring the worry that constantly ate away at her. She waved at everyone as she entered, her eyes reflexively scanning the large room before spying a mess of pink of hair.

Just like that, her palms became sticky and her breath hitched in her throat.

Natsu. He was back.

She tried to tear her eyes away from him. He was sitting by himself. Happy was no where to be seen. He hadn't noticed her yet. He was holding his head in his hands, staring down at the scratched wooden tabletop. She gulped.

Natsu…

The memory of his kiss floated upon her lips, making her cheeks flush. She felt locked in this moment, the moment before he would notice her, the moment before they would talk and she would have to act like the kiss had meant nothing to her…

Just then, he turned. His eyes collided with her, trapping her. Before she could even move, he had shoved away from the table and was stomping over to her. Anger radiated off of him. She took a shaky step back. But, before she could run he had already captured her. His pink hair clouded his eyes as he stood in front of her, his voice low and raspy.

"Why did you move, Luce?" He lifted his head slowly, his confusion plain to see. Lucy was still in shock. He had been gone for nearly a month, yet he reappeared and wanted to act like nothing had changed? Like he hadn't ever left?

She didn't think so.

"Long time no see, Natsu." She said the words sickly sweet, her false happiness dripping off of her. He frowned. "What? You're not even going to say hello to me after being gone for so long?" She crossed her arms underneath her chest, barely containing her smirk when she saw him falter. He didn't falter for long. His face steeled over and he took another step closer to her. She immediately retreated another step backwards.

"What the hell, Luce?" He snapped, running a hand through his tangled hair. "Why did you move? Why didn't you talk about it with me?" His voice softened somewhat, tugging at her heartstrings.

She quickly ignored the way that her heart felt.

"Just how, exactly, was I supposed to talk about it with you?" She snapped. He reeled back at her words. "You were gone. You just left, again." She flinched. She hadn't meant to say the word 'again'. She didn't want him to know that she was still bothered by his first disappearance. She didn't want him to know that she still had nightmares about him being gone, nightmares that had only increased in frequency and intensity over the last month. She sucked in her bottom lip and took yet another shaky step back.

His face immediately fell. He seemed to collapse upon himself. His eyes searched her, desperately asking a silent question that she didn't know how to answer. "Luce…" Her name was like honey on his lips. She could listen to it forever. She loved the way that it sounded. Yet, right now, all she felt was boiling rage.

He had left her, again.

Then, on top of that, he just showed up with no apology, no explanation, not even a hello.

She raked in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She looked away from him, catching Levy's worried gaze from across the room. "Leave me alone, Natsu." Her words were cold and she didn't look back at him before she darted across the room to the relative safety of her blue-haired best friend. When she finally did look back at him, he was still standing where she had left him, eyes wide, mouth agape, with a heartbroken expression etched across his face.

Lucy flinched.

What had she just done?

~ Author's Note ~

Natsu is back! What do you think about their reunion? Everything is not going so well for Natsu right now. Lucy is a whole mess of emotions with the threat of her disease and her aching heart.

Expect a lot more Natsu and Lucy next chapter!

Thank you so very much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

Please, review this chapter. Let me know your thoughts! They do factor into my writing and, on top of that, they make me write much faster. My goal is to write two chapters a week, but it all depends on how much time I can carve out. The minimum should be one chapter a week.

Emotions are running wild right now for our stars. Don't worry, there is still a whole lot more yet to come!

~ FeudalAi


	6. Chapter 6

Lucy bit her lip hard and immediately cringed at the metallic taste of blood. She winced and looked away from Natsu. Levy's eyes were piercing her.

"Lucy? Is everything okay?" Her voice was soft and her eyes darted between Lucy and Natsu.

Lucy nodded and licked her lip, gently removing any remaining traces of blood. "Yea. I'm fine." Her voice was shaky and she immediately grimaced.

"What? Did fire-boy do something?" Gajeel slid onto the sit beside Levy, immediately wrapping his arm around her shoulders and leaning into her. Levy's face adorably flushed and her hands immediately shifted to wrap around her enlarged stomach.

Lucy shrugged, unsure of what to say.

"Are you still mad that he left?" Levy whispered. Gajeel leaned in closer to her and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Lucy's hands quivered and she quickly placed them on her lap, hidden beneath the table. "Maybe." She muttered.

"Well, of course she is!" Gajeel huffed as he shot a dangerous look across the guild at Natsu. Natsu had finally awoken from his stupor. His eyes were on Lucy and shock permeated his features as he began to stumble towards the bar. "Idiot."

Lucy chuckled softly at Gajeel's gruff tone. She knew that he actually cared for Natsu too. They were friends, albeit they didn't like to admit it. "He's not always an idiot."

"Not always, just most of the time."

Levy gently elbowed Gajeel in the ribs. "Don't say that!" Her voice was lilting and airy. Whenever Lucy was around her, she couldn't help but see the happiness that Levy exuded. From every single thing that her friend did, her happiness radiated off of her in monstrous waves. Even when she was sick or her back was aching from the pregnancy, she was still happy. The couple in front of her appeared to be pure perfection. Gajeel - loving, caring, strong, and protective. Levy - brave, cunning, intuitive, and sweet. They were perfect together, two puzzle pieces that fit together seamlessly.

Lucy wanted that.

She hated the pang of jealousy that stabbed her whenever she saw them together. She was so blindingly happy for her friend and she couldn't wait to get to meet the two little ones that currently resided within Levy's tummy. She hated how guilty her jealousy made her feel. She hated that she couldn't seem to be happy with how her own life was. She hated that she wanted more.

But, what she really hated, was that 'more' might never be a possibility for her.

She hated that a disease with no name ran rampant within her veins. She hated that she didn't know if she would even be alive in a year. She hated that there were so many unknowns.

Lucy didn't even realize that she had been staring off into space until Levy's voice broke her from her trance.

"Lucy? Did you hear me?" Levy was waving her hand in front of Lucy's face. Lucy's eyes shot open wide and she immediately blushed in embarrassment.

"Um, sorry, what did you say?"

Levy just smiled softly, her expression full of understanding. "This is my last day coming to the guild for awhile." She patted her stomach. "The twins are due in about a week and the doctor doesn't want me to be too active." She flinched and rubbed the side of her stomach, groaning slightly as she did so. "They're keeping me up most of the night, so I'm pretty tired as it is. So, yea, um…" She trailed off as he eyes dashed down to her stomach, worry dancing across her features. Gajeel leaned a bit more into her, holding her body as close to his as he possibly could. "If you're bored or something, you could come over sometime before they're born." Levy smiled hopefully and Lucy was enthusiastically nodding before she had even finished talking.

"Of course I will!"

"Told ya she would, munchkin." Gajeel grunted into Levy's blue hair. "Everything's going to be okay." His words were soft, and Lucy was sure that she wasn't supposed to hear them. Her eyes flashed between the two before she leaned over the table and placed her hand on top of Levy's.

"He's right. Everything will be okay. I can't wait to get to meet your little ones. They are the luckiest kids in the world, did you know that?"

Tears immediately bubbled out of Levy's eyes and Lucy stood up to move around the table and wrap her friend in a tight hug. She stayed like that for a long time as Levy got herself back under control. Lucy just gently rubbed her back and smiled at the overprotective Gajeel who was watching them closely with a small smirk. When she finally leaned back she spotted Erza across the table and four giant mugs of hot chocolate stuffed with marshmallows.

"I couldn't help but overhear that today is your last day here for a while, Levy. So, I thought that we should celebrate the twins!" Erza motioned towards the mugs and everyone reached out to grab one. Lucy wrapped her hands around hers, letting the warmth from the mug begin to warm her. It was nice inside the guild, but outside the cold was slowly beginning to get worse.

"Thanks, Erza." Levy beamed as she took a giant gulp of the hot liquid.

"Natsu's back." Erza stated casually as she pointed in his general direction. Lucy's eyes followed and she saw that he was still watching her. He was talking to Wendy, but seemingly not paying any attention to the conversation. She blushed and looked back at Erza. "I'm a little surprised that he isn't over here." Erza quirked her head, evaluating her. Lucy immediately looked down at her mug, purposefully avoiding eye contact.

It was just then, right when she was starring down at the melting marshmallows in her mug, that she felt it. That all too familiar pain that she hadn't felt in nearly a week was back.

She grunted and shoved her hand under the table. Thankfully, Erza had started talking to Levy about something so no one had noticed the black that had already begun to crawl up her fingers. Her eyes shot open wide as she immediately began to search the guild for Gray. Her breath started to come in quick bursts and anxiety filled her heart when she couldn't find him right away. She stood up from the table on shaky legs, made a lame excuse, and began to dart around the guild. She crammed her hand into the small pocket of her jeans, silently praying that she would find Gray before the black spread even further.

The pain was torturous.

It was like fire eating her alive. She was burning from the inside out, melting bit by bit. She wanted to scream. But, instead, she bit the inside of her cheek. Finally, right when she thought that she was about to crumple over in pain, she spotted him. He was leaning against the far wall, animatedly talking to Juvia. Lucy's pain was blinding her vision, all that she could see was his blurry form. She stumbled towards him and, when she finally reached him, collapsed against his side.

"Lucy?" Gray's voice was filled with worry as she panted against him. She was beginning to sweat now and she could feel her hair sticking to her forehead. She withdrew her hand from her pocket and held it out towards him. She felt him draw in a shaky breath before he immediately grabbed onto her hand.

His body was nice and cold.

She nearly moaned as she leaned into him a bit more. Her eyes were pinched shut so she didn't see Natsu as he approached, she only heard his angry voice once he had reached them.

"What's going on?" His voice was so gruff that it grated on her ears and all that she wanted to do was tell him to be quiet. Her lips were dry, and it took all of her willpower to open her eyes. Natsu's face was filled with worry, fear, and anger.

Lucy tried to shake her head, but pain shot up through her arm and she turned her face into Gray's chest. Juvia moved to stand by her other side and began to gently rub her arm.

So, Gray had told her. That was good.

"Gray…" Juvia's voice was soft, nudging almost. Lucy felt Gray nod and he bent down and quickly picked her up bridal style. She barely even registered the movement. She felt like she could hardly breathe. This attack, it felt so much worse than the others. She had closed her eyes again, unable to keep them open anymore.

"What the fuck is going on?" Natsu snapped. She felt him place a burning hand against her and she nearly cried out. Gray immediately took a step back so that Natsu wouldn't be within reach. "Luce?" He said her name so faintly that she had barely heard him.

"It's none of your concern, flame-brain. She doesn't need you right now." Gray's voice was harsh and stone cold.

She wished that she had been able to see Natsu's reaction.

She wished that she could see if anyone else had noticed the confrontation. She didn't want anyone else to know that she was sick.

But, she couldn't open her eyes. She was spiraling, lost within the pain that was consuming her. All she knew was that they were moving. She didn't know where Gray had brought her, but by the time he put her down on something soft she felt like she could hardly breathe. He placed his hands on her, and she was sure that his body was covered in its own shade of black, as his magic began to weave into her body.

The effects were nearly instantaneous. With a heavy sigh, she leaned back into what she now realized was an armchair. A few moments later, as the pain continued to recede, she was able to open her eyes. Stacks of books surrounded them which meant that he had taken her to the library, to her special place. A sense of calm invaded her as she looked down at her hand.

Black still coated her fingertips.

She smiled sadly as she turned to look at Gray. A grimace etched his face as he stared down at the offending color. His grip on her tightened slightly and she felt even more of his magic push into her. The rest of her pain faded away, but the color remained. Gray grunted, clearly frustrated, as he pushed even more magic into her.

Yet, the color didn't go away.

"Gray…" Lucy gently took her hand away from him and felt his hands on her immediately fall. "Gray, stop. It's okay." Her voice was soft. Her eyes shifted to see Juvia, wide-eyed, beside him. Tears glistened in the water-mage's beautiful eyes. Lucy couldn't help but smile when she spotted the engagement ring that resided upon Juvia's hand.

"It didn't work." Gray spat the words as if they were made of venom. The black color that coated his body receded until he looked like himself again.

Lucy sat up a bit more, rubbing her sore hand. "But, it made the pain stop."

"That's not good enough." Gray was shaking his head, frustration written all over his features.

"Gray…" She tried to reach out to him, but he jerked away from her and stormed out of the library. Lucy watched him go with sad eyes.

"Don't mind him." Juvia's voice was soft and full of love. "He feels… Responsible." Her words hung there for a long time as the two of them sat in silence, staring at the door. Lucy took a deep breath before turning to look at Juvia again.

"Thanks, Juvia. For being so understanding…"

Juvia shrugged her shoulders. "Don't worry about it, Lucy. I know that I can be a bit… Over the top sometimes. But, you're not my love rival anymore." She giggled softly. "We're friends and I want you to get better so you can be at my wedding." Juvia shot a weak smile at her, and Lucy couldn't help but return it.

"You know, I never was your love rival in the first place." Lucy laughed.

"Sure you weren't." Juvia drew out the words, laughing lightly as she spoke.

Lucy's gaze returned to the door as she thought back through the pain-filled moments of this last attack. "Did Natsu try to follow us?" Her voice was soft and unsteady.

Juvia followed her gaze. "Gray's words made him stop. He wanted to follow you, though… I could tell."

"I'm not so sure." Lucy muttered.

"Why do you say that?" Juvia's curiosity was palpable.

Lucy shook her head and gingerly stood up, making sure that her legs wouldn't give out. When she was sure that she could stand without falling over, she managed to form a pathetic response. "I don't know…" She stumbled slightly and Juvia shot to her side, holding her up. "Thank you." Lucy whispered. She hadn't realized just how weak this last attack had made her. It had never been like that before. Before, once the pain had stopped, the black color would go away and she would return to normal again.

But, not this time.

"Let me help you home, okay? We can take the back way out."

Lucy nodded in appreciation and leaned into Juvia for support. She was immediately grateful that there was a back exit so that she wouldn't have to walk through everyone that was lounging inside. She glanced down at her hand as they made it outside without anyone else from the guild noticing. Her fingertips were still black, but the color was slowly receding. She would have to go to the hospital later and tell Hikaru about what had happened.

Once they got to her apartment, Juvia helped her to crawl into bed. Lucy hated how weak she felt. She hated that she needed someone to help her. She hated that she was scared shitless. Gray's magic had helped, but it hadn't managed to destroy the sickness that had invaded her body. Juvia pulled the blanket up around Lucy, gently tucking her in. She knelt down next to the bed and reached forward to push a stray piece of hair behind Lucy's ear. Lucy smiled softly at her. Juvia could be really sweet when she wasn't declaring her a love rival.

"Lucy… We're friends, right?" Juvia questioned softly. Lucy managed a small nod in response. "If you need any help, just ask me, okay? Gray and I are here for you." Lucy's heart warmed.

She was so lucky.

Just so, so lucky to have such amazing friends.

"I'm really glad that Gray told you. I'm really glad, Juvia."

Juvia smiled sadly and stood up. "Thanks for letting him tell me, Lucy."

Juvia left a few moments later and her apartment suddenly felt incredibly empty. She pinched her eyes shut as she tried not to think about the loneliness that was pressing in upon her. She had amazing friends. She had people she could rely on. So, why did she feel so alone?

A choked sob burst from her. She couldn't control it. She clutched her hand against her chest and curled into the fetal position.

She couldn't control the tears that rolled down her face as fear gripped her heart until she finally fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Natsu didn't understand. His emotions swirled in a dizzying tumble, too quick and slippery to identify any single one of them. All that he knew for sure was that he was downright furious. Seeing Lucy clutched within Gray's arms had made him come undone.

His chest heaved as he tried to calm himself down. His breathing was raspy and he slammed his fists into the wooden table. A resounding crack shot through the air as the table splintered into three large segments.

Fuck…

Everyone in the guild spun to look at him. They were used to tables and chairs being broken, but that was usually during a fight. When they noticed that it was only him sitting there, his face twisted in anger, they froze. They stared at him with wide eyes, confused by his sudden outburst. He winced and stood up. He quickly moved back to the library's door and leaned against it.

Lucy…

She was in there. With Gray. His teeth ground together almost painfully as he strained his senses in order to hear what was happening on the other side of the thick barricade.

He couldn't hear anything.

With a barely restrained growl, he took a discreet sniff of the air. Lucy's faint scent wafted back to him, but it was old. His face scrunched up as he reached for the doorknob. Surprisingly, it flung open at his command. He took a slow step into the musty space and immediately noticed that Lucy was gone.

How had he missed her leave?

His head swung from side to side as he looked for her within the small space. She definitely wasn't there and he still hadn't even found out where she lived. He turned and stomped out of the library, barely controlling the rage that was bubbling inside of him. Truthfully, he didn't fully understand his anger.

He was hurt.

He was confused.

The image of Lucy clutched in Gray's arms… It had made him livid. Lucy… She hadn't looked good. She had been sweating and her eyes were closed. She looked sick… Yet, she didn't want him anywhere near her. When she had entered the guild she had looked fine. How had she become sick so fast?

But, more importantly, where was she now?

Natsu scanned the guild. He didn't see Gray anywhere, but Levy and Gajeel were still there. He spun on his heel and darted towards their table. If anyone knew where Lucy's new place was, it would be Levy.

"Where does Lucy live?" He didn't even sit down. He stood beside Levy, his eyes wandering down to her large stomach, before they snapped back up to his face. Gajeel was watching him with a reproachful eye.

"And why would you like to know?" Gajeel huffed as his arm around Levy tightened.

"Just tell me, metal breath." Natsu growled. He couldn't understand why he was being so aggressive. He couldn't control the feelings that were assaulting him. All that he knew for sure was that he had to see Lucy. She was sick… He had to see her.

Gajeel stood up slowly and stepped around Levy, blocking her from Natsu's view. "I get the feeling that she doesn't want to see you."

"Just tell me where she is!" Natsu snapped. He could feel heat swirling around his fingers as his urge to call forth his fire became nearly overwhelming.

Gajeel was about to say something back, his face twisted into an angry retort, when Levy placed her small hand upon his arm. He turned to look back at her and when he finally looked at Natsu again, his face had softened. "Fine." He huffed. "Fine. Follow me." Gajeel stormed passed him and headed towards the front door.

Natsu shot a quick appreciative smile Levy's way before he hurried after Gajeel. They walked in silence for what felt like forever. Natsu paid close attention to the streets as they made their way through Magnolia. From what he could tell, Lucy was in a much more central location now. When they finally stopped outside of a small, two-story, brick building Gajeel spun around to face him.

"Do you have any idea how badly you messed up?" Gajeel's voice was uncharacteristically soft.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. You left. You left her again." Gajeel's words hit him harder than any punch ever had.

Yea, Natsu knew that he had messed up.

He didn't respond. He let his hair hide his eyes as he dutifully stared at the sidewalk. A weed was growing up through a small crack and he couldn't help but think about how determined that little plant must have been to grow in that barren spot. He heard Gajeel groan, but he still didn't turn to look at him. For some reason, he just couldn't meet his gaze.

"She lives in there. Second floor apartment." Gajeel stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, making Natsu's eyes widen. Natsu turned to look at him, but only saw a mess of black hair. "Don't screw this up." With those few words of advice, Gajeel quickly sped off down the street. Natsu watched him go and couldn't help but feel a spark of jealousy. Somehow, Gajeel had gotten the girl. Somehow, Gajeel of all people had ended up with the girl he loved. Somehow, Gajeel was about to have a family. Natsu never would have guessed that Gajeel, of all people, would be the first one to have kids out of their group of friends.

If Gajeel could do it, shouldn't Natsu be able to as well?

He took a deep breath before he pushed open the door. He climbed up the stairwell slowly. The thudding of his steps echoed in the small hallway. Suddenly, he felt uncharacteristically nervous. His heart beat erratically within his chest.

Lucy…

He gulped as he stood outside of her door. This was her new place. This was her new home. Why did he feel so unwelcome? Why did he feel like he shouldn't be there? He tried to squash the doubts that threatened to overwhelm him as he raised his fist and gently knocked on her door.

His breath hitched in his throat as he heard someone moving on the other side of the door.

Slowly, the door opened and he was face-to-face with her. Lucy… She looked exhausted. Her face was worn out. Bags hung under her eyes and she didn't even smile at him. Instead, she simply moved to the side and allowed him in.

He strode into her place, raking in every detail. Honestly, it reminded him a lot of her apartment back in the capital. He winced as he remembered her old place. When he had found her giant map on the wall tracking everyone's movements after the guild had split up, it had wrenched his heart. It was in that moment that he had realized just how lonely she must have been. He had never thought that she would be alone that whole year that he was gone. He hadn't known that the guild was going to break up. He thought that she would have Levy, Erza, and everyone else. Instead, she had been utterly and completely alone.

He shivered as a wave of her scent washed over him. It was distinctly her. Cherry blossoms mixed with the almond scent of her shampoo. Yet, something distinctly 'other' clung to her. She was sick. It was written all over her body and had even weaved its way into her scent. Worry blossomed within his chest as he looked at her. She had closed the door and had wandered into the kitchen. He watched her silently as she poured herself a mug of tea. She wasn't looking at him. In fact, she was steadfastly ignoring his gaze.

"Luce…" He reached out towards her, but when she didn't move his hand fell back down to his side.

"Where were you?" Her soft question was filled with pain. He winced.

"I was on a job. It was pretty far away from here…"

She shook her head and sighed. "That's not what I meant, Natsu."

"But, you said…"

She looked up, her eyes piercing him, cutting him off. "I know what I said."

Silence clung to the air around them, pressing down upon them, suffocating him. It had never been like this with Lucy before. It had always been easy, simple. Why did it feel so difficult now? Why did it feel like he couldn't speak? Why did he get the feeling that he couldn't make her smile anymore?

He just wanted to see her smile.

He hated the way that she was looking at him right now. Regret swirled in his gut, the pain of it worse than any battle he had ever been in. She placed her hand on the table, steadying herself. Natsu lurched forward and wrapped his arm around her. She tried to push him away, but he didn't let her. Before she could try to pull away again, he shifted so that he was holding her from behind, his face pressed into the back of her neck. She stiffened in his arms and he pushed away the feeling of hurt that swamped him. He wasn't going to let her go. He just wasn't going to do that.

He couldn't.

He couldn't lose her.

"I'm sorry." He muttered. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of her belly as he held her close. He loved being this close to her. Having Lucy in his arms felt completely natural to him. He never wanted to let her go.

Yet, her body remained stiff within his gentle embrace. He felt tears sting his eyes. This wasn't how he imagined that their reunion would go. Lucy sighed and grabbed his hands, slowly pulling them off of her. A knife stabbed into his chest and he let her move away from him. Every step that she took was like a physical blow. He felt bruised and broken.

What had he done?

He had cause this. He had caused this pain that she was feeling. He had hurt her.

He had royally fucked up.

"I wanted to pretend that everything was fine." Lucy began, her voice soft and hesitant. She looked nervous. Her hands fidgeted with the edge of her shirt. Natsu gulped, suddenly terrified by what she might say next. "I wanted to pretend that you leaving didn't bother me. But, I can't. I can't pretend that it didn't bother me when it did. Especially, after what had happened…" Her cheeks flushed and his mind flashed back to their kiss. Shit, he was fucking nervous. She shook her head, as if clearing it of unwanted memories. "I needed you." Her voice broke and he immediately stepped towards her, only for her to take a step back. "I needed you here."

Natsu didn't know what to do. He felt choked by the words that he needed to say, by the words he wanted to say, and by the words that he couldn't say. She looked so angry and broken that it was killing him. He couldn't stop the rush of anger and frustration that overcame him. His hands curled into tight fists as he stared defiantly back at her.

"Why?" His voice was loud. It seemed to take up the entire space. "Why did you need me here?!" The words came out as a half shout, half plea. Her eyes widened, but she didn't shy away from him. She stayed put, her posture stiff.

"You're my best friend, Natsu." Her words slammed into his gut, making him feel both happy and horribly depressed. "I just… I needed you, okay?"

His hands quivered. The desperation in her voice… It called out to him. "I'm sorry, Luce. I was stupid, okay?"

She placed her hands on her hips. There was a glimmer in her eyes that reminded him of her usual self. "I think you were a little more than stupid."

He scoffed. "Yea, you're probably right about that." He rolled his eyes at her, relieved to see her posture relax. He looked around her new place. It was nice. It was bigger than her last one, considering she actually had a bedroom. But, it just felt odd, being here instead of at her old place. "Nice place." He tried to sound sincere, but the words came out choked. She didn't seem to notice.

"Yea, I like it." Lucy looked around her new place as well. A small smile graced her face. She wrapped her arms around herself, her tea long forgotten on the table.

"Luce…" He sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it as he tried to work up the courage to speak. "Luce, why did you move?"

Immediately, she looked away from him. "I just wanted a fresh start." An emotion flashed across her face that he didn't understand.

"Is that the only reason?" His question, so soft and innocent, made her flinch.

She turned and flashed him a blindingly fake smile. "Of course it is!"

He frowned, but didn't question her. She still looked weak and he was worried, really worried, about her. "Are you feeling okay?"

She flinched. "Um, I guess I don't look very good right now, do I?" Natsu simply shrugged, and her sweet laughter met his ears. "I think I caught the flu. A lot of people are starting to get sick now with winter coming and all… I probably caught it on my last job with Erza."

"You went on a job with Erza?" The accusation that laced his voice made her scowl.

"Of course I did. What? Did you think just because you were gone that I wouldn't take any jobs? I have bills, ya know."

Natsu cringed, already regretting his words. Quickly, he tried to backtrack. "Um, I just meant I was surprised you went with Erza and not with Gray and Wendy too."

She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly not believing him. "Mhm." He was about to say something else to try to make the atmosphere between them okay again, when she spoke. "Natsu, can you just go? Please? I don't mean to be rude. But, I'm really not feeling well and I need some rest. This flu bug is kicking my butt." She laughed and ran a hand through her long, blonde hair.

Natsu forced a half-smile onto his face. "Sure, Luce. See you tomorrow?"

She nodded as she walked him towards the door. "See you tomorrow, Natsu." With that, she shut the door behind him. Pain clutched his chest and he fell backwards into the door as his knees gave out. He crumbled into a pile.

He felt so distant from her.

How had he messed up this bad?

He hated himself. He hated himself for being so selfish and kissing her. He hated himself for leaving her. He hated his decisions. He hated that he couldn't seem to make it better between them.

He hated that he didn't know if they could get passed this.

He stumbled to his feet, roughly wiping a tear away as he did so. He looked back at her door for a long moment before leaving.

He would make it work. He wouldn't lose her. Even if they were never anything more than friends, he wouldn't lose her. He couldn't. He simply couldn't be without her.

* * *

Lucy wanted to collapse. Seeing Natsu, and not falling into his embrace, was so incredibly hard. Every breath that she took hurt. She was so pissed. How could her disease go from just random bursts of pain to what she was feeling now? Natsu… She wasn't sure how to act around him. She didn't want him to know about her sickness because then he would try to fix it. If he knew just how sick she really was, he wouldn't leave her alone. He would look at her differently, she just knew it.

She clutched her heart. It was beating erratically again and she could feel a panic attack coming on. She moved over to the couch and put her head between her knees. She sucked in slow, deep breaths, as she tried to think about happier times. Thinking about Natsu, thinking about the disease that was eating her alive… Thinking about those things hurt too damn much. She just wanted everything to go back to the way that it was before. She wanted to be healthy. She wanted the weird atmosphere between her and Natsu to disappear.

She wanted to be happy.

Why was happiness so damn hard to find? But, more than that, why was happiness so damn hard to keep?

She breathed through the last of the pains that were stabbing her before she made herself get up and head towards her door. She needed to go to the hospital. Her short nap earlier had helped her tremendously and she couldn't keep putting it off any longer. The air outside was brisk and cut into her skin. In a way, it was a relief from the memory of the fire that had burned her up inside. She hadn't made it very far before she spotted Gray leaning up against a building. When he noticed her he fell into step beside her, silent and stoic. He didn't speak until they were within sight of the hospital.

"I'm sorry." His words were gruff. She immediately stopped and placed a comforting hand on his folded arms.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about."

He jerked away from her and began to walk again. Her hands curled into small fists. Gray was hurting and she didn't know how to fix it. She hurried to catch up to him and they walked in silence. The gentle nosies of the hospital assaulted her ears. Small beeps and pages over the intercom system set her entire body on alert. Her fingers immediately shifted to fiddle with her celestial keys. She could feel the gentle hum of their power caressing her touch. She felt as if a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her spirits were there for her. Eventually, she knew that she would have to talk to them. She hadn't been calling them much, if at all, since this whole ordeal had begun. She owed them an explanation. The hum increased and she had the odd feeling that they already, somehow, knew.

They weaved their way through the crowd of people in the waiting room and up two floors to Hikaru's office. Gray barged in without knocking, startling the poor doctor who had fallen asleep at his desk on top of a pile of papers.

Hikaru's eyes went wide as he took in the sight of the two intruders. Lucy waved sheepishly at him. "Hello, Lucy, Gray…" His eyes darted between the two of them as he sat up a bit straighter. "What's going on?"

"She had an attack." Gray's voice was firm, unrelenting.

Hikaru's eyes widened and an air of seriousness fell over the room. "Tell me everything."

~ Author's Note ~

Two chapters this week! Thank you so much to all of my fabulous reviewers. Your reviews are what encouraged me to get this done. I hope that you don't mind that a large chunk of this chapter was in Natsu's POV. I will be flip-flopping between his and Lucy's. I really hope that you are enjoying getting to see what's happening from both of their POVs.

Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story. It really means a lot to me.

Next update will be on Monday! Also, if anyone is curious, you will be getting more of Stella and Blaise's story in future chapters.

Please, review and let me know your thoughts.

~ FeudalAi


	7. Chapter 7

Lucy sat in stunned silence. She was back at her apartment, staring absently out of one of the many windows in her living room. She felt empty. She felt like her story was coming to an end. Gray's magic hadn't worked, and while Hikaru had come up with a plan to extract and condense Gray's magic into a medical serum, she didn't have much hope of it being successful.

She knew that she needed to be positive.

But, fuck positivity.

She groaned and made herself get up and move over to her desk. She needed to write. Even if this stupid disease ended up taking her life, she wouldn't let it take her novel as well. She would finish it. She refused to leave her novel unfinished. She flipped open her journal and tried her best to push her fears to the back of her mind as she focused on Stella and Blaise instead.

 _After their meeting at the park, things went back to normal between them. Stella fell into old rhythms, soothed by Blaise's constant presence. Old pains stabbed at her, but she tried her best to ignore them. She wanted things to be normal again. She didn't want to hold onto grudges and misunderstandings._

 _She wanted to forgive him._

 _He had left for a good reason. She couldn't fault him for trying to find his brother. But, still, it stung. The memory of him vanishing would shake her awake in the middle of the night as cold sweats wracked her body._

 _She hated this._

 _She hated this feeling that had settled in the bottom of her gut. She hated how she found herself second-guessing him._

 _She couldn't help but think that he was going to disappear again._

 _She grabbed her books tighter as she walked down the hallway. Students passed her in a swarm of noise. Before she even reached her locker, she noticed him. Blaise._

 _Her breath hitched and she stilled for a moment before forcing herself forward. His blindingly bright smile faltered slightly when he saw her pause._

 _"_ _Yo." He greeted._

 _Stella quickly unlocked her locker and tossed her stuff inside. She spared him a quick smile before she began to stuff her homework into her backpack. "Hey, Blaise." She muttered, her face safely hidden behind her locker's door._

 _"_ _Wanna go get ice cream with me?"_

 _Stella closed her locker and looked at him. His expression was drenched with hope. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and tried not to blush as he took a step closer to her. She could almost feel the heat that radiated off of him. "Um, I have a lot of homework."_

 _"_ _But, tomorrow is Saturday. Come on, you need to have a social life." He gently poked her collarbone and her heartbeat quickened. It thundered in her chest as the sounds of the other students fell away. All she could hear was the 'thump, thump' of her own heart._

 _"_ _Oh, okay." She stuttered. She hated how her hands became sweaty and her whole body seemed to tremble. His eager smile burst onto his face, bright and full of life. That was the Blaise that she had missed. While he was gone, she had longed for his cheery attitude. He had always been able to make her smile, even in the worst of times. He had been the only one able to get her out of her room after her mom had died. He had sat at the end of her bed and rubbed her back as she cried. He had combed out her hair for her, twisting his fingers through it, as he listened to her stories. She had told him everything. Story after story about her mom and her had spilled out. He was the one who had managed to convince her to get out of bed and take a hot shower. He was the one who had managed to convince her to eat. He was the one who managed to encourage her to go be with her Dad._

 _That had been the single best piece of advice that she had ever been given._

 _Her Dad had been so alone, his grief his only company. She had gone to him and wrapped him in her arms. She had broken down with him. She had never been closer to her Dad than she had been in that moment. They became each others solace, all thanks to Blaise._

 _Blaise… She owed him more than she cared to admit._

 _As soon as she accepted his offer, he reached out and snagged her hand. She thought that she might faint. He pulled her towards the exit, nearly dragging her behind him in his haste. She could hardly breathe._

 _He was holding her hand…_

 _They had held hands before, but this felt different somehow. She couldn't help but think back to the moment that she thought that maybe, maybe he liked her as something more… She tried to push the memory away, yet it clung to the back of her mind, ever-present and annoying._

 _Everything was a blur to her, except the image of their hands intertwined. Before she even knew it, they were at the ice cream parlor._

 _"_ _Go ice cream crazy, it's my treat." Blaise's voice made her come to her senses. She nodded her thanks and sped over to choose her ice cream flavors. One scoop of strawberry, one scoop of vanilla, and two scoops of chocolate. She topped it all with a pile of nuts and a buttload of cherries. Blaise simply laughed at her atrocious order as he easily ordered something twice as large and obnoxious as hers. Blaise paid and they hurried over to a bench before digging into their sweet treats._

 _Stella laughed as she watched Blaise bite back a groan. "Brain freeze?" She questioned._

 _He rolled his eyes at her playful tone. "You know it." He said the words as if he was proud of his achievement. He reached up and rubbed his temple._

 _She shook her head as she ate a cherry. "I will never understand why you actually enjoy getting a brain freeze."_

 _He squinted his eyes at her, all serious. "Because it makes me feel alive." He stared down into his half-empty ice cream bowl, his playfulness slowly receding. "It reminds me of Colby. We used to have ice cream battles, seeing who could eat more before getting a brain freeze." He looked up at her with a soft smile and she felt her heart warm._

 _Snap. Oh snap._

 _Her brain scrambled, yet she managed to work words out of her numb mouth. "I know…" She barely even processed that she had spoken. She was watching him watching her._

 _When he had looked up at her and smiled all soft and cute like that… A sudden realization had slammed into her. All tastes, all sensations, had evaporated into thin air._

 _She… She loved him._

 _He was talking, but she couldn't hear him. His lips were moving, but the sound never reached her ears. It wasn't until he turned, his face contorted in confusion, that she managed to act. She turned to look as well, her brain having a hard time keeping up with what her eyes were telling her._

 _Before them stood a carbon copy of the image of 'Daryle' that Blaise had shown her from the newspaper. He stood there, his posture slouched and a firm grimace on his face, staring at Blaise._

 _Blaise's jaw dropped._

 _The man cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "Hello, little brother. Long time no see."_

Lucy frowned as she stared at her writing. She wasn't sure if she liked it, but right now wasn't the time for second guessing. She was scared. She was scared that she wouldn't get the chance to finish this book.

She was scared that she would never get an act two. She was scared that she'd be a one-shot wonder.

She was scared of so many things. She didn't want to think about all of them. She didn't want to think about each and every thing that she would lose or miss out on if she died. She didn't want to die. She didn't want this no-named disease to claim her.

Maybe, the serum would work.

She glanced at her clock and, after noticing the time, sped out of the door. It was well into the afternoon now and she had told Natsu the day before that she would see him at the guild. She still wasn't sure how she felt about seeing him. She wanted to, more than anything, yet it hurt to be near him.

Dark thoughts flashed through her mind as she made her way forward.

If she was going to die… Well, she wanted to spend whatever time she had left with him. She wanted to be by his side. She wanted to have those memories, even if that was selfish of her.

When she finally entered the guild, it was easy to spot her pink-haired best friend. She bounded over to him, putting on a facade of cheerfulness that she didn't quite feel. She noticed Gray looking at her oddly, but ignored him.

She didn't want to feel sad today.

Today, she didn't want to think about just how sick she was. She didn't want to think about what Hikaru had said. She didn't want to think about the expressions that had sped across the doctor's face. She didn't want to focus on anything at all, except for Natsu.

She rushed forward and wrapped him in a tight hug, nearly knocking him off of his feet. She squeezed him tight, relishing in his warmth. His arms slowly closed around her. She took a deep breath before she released him, feeling more like her old self than she had for weeks.

Today, she would forget about him disappearing. Today, she would forget that she was sick.

Natsu's eyes were wide in shock. He looked adorably confused and she barely restrained herself from reaching forward and ruffling his hair. "Wanna go on a job?" She asked, her voice light and happy. His entire demeanor shifted, before he reverted to the Natsu that she knew so well.

"Of course. I'm all fired up now!" He reached for her hand and quickly pulled her over to the job request board.

A flash of worry crept into her mind and she found herself speaking before even thinking over her words. "Nothing too far away, okay?"

He didn't seem to notice the worry in her voice. He quickly nodded before snagging a notice off of the board. "This one looks easy enough, not a lot of pay though." He flashed her the request. It was a simple lost pet, an easy job if ever there was one.

"The money doesn't matter."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew that they were a mistake. Natsu's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he stared at her. He waved a hand in front of her face before then pressing the back of it against her forehead. He raised his other one to his own head, comparing the temperatures.

"You're not sick, are ya Luce?" He playfully asked.

She flinched at his words and his worried expression turned serious. "Of course I'm not!" Her laugh sounded fake, even to her. "I just meant that the money doesn't matter as long as we get to hang out. It has been a long time since we hung out, just the two of us."

His worry fell from his face and he blushed slightly, gripping the notice a bit harder. "That's true."

Lucy grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the bar. They handed Mira the job request in order to officially accept it. Mira just smiled at them knowingly, making Lucy blush while Natsu continued on, oblivious to the looks that Mira was shooting at them.

It was when they were about to leave, that she felt Gray's hold on her. Natsu immediately bristled, but he held his tongue. Gray's eyes shot her a warning as he let go of her.

"Lucy, don't you have something else you have to do today?"

Lucy forced on a brave front as she met his sturdy gaze. She spied Juvia behind him. She was watching them with wide eyes. "Nope." She popped the 'p' and watched, with a barely controlled smirk, as Gray scowled at her.

She knew that she should listen to him.

She knew that skipping her doctor appointment wasn't smart.

She just…

She needed this day of forgetfulness.

"See ya later!" She waved at Gray and Juvia as she gently pushed Natsu outside before Gray could ask her any more questions.

"What was that all about?" Natsu had stopped once they were outside. She steadfastly ignored his gaze.

"Nothing. I don't know why Gray thought I had something else going on today."

"You didn't… You didn't plan to go out on a job with him today, did you?" There was a slight tremor in his voice that made her want to reach out and hug him again. Instead, she reached down to run her fingers over her celestial keys.

"Of course not!" She giggled. "Like Juvia would let me anyway, you know how overprotective she is."

Natsu huffed and rolled his eyes. "Yea, you're right about that." He looked down at the notice he still held before smiling at her once more. "Well, I guess we should start searching for this little guy."

Lucy slung her arm through his, nearly skipping as she pulled him forward. "I guess so!"

They walked together at a leisurely pace while they looked for the missing dog. While they walked, Natsu blabbered on about his nearly month long job. She liked hearing about it. She liked listening to him tell her about the various fights that he had been in, and about how Happy had felt fish deprived when they couldn't scrounge any up for a few nights. It hurt, to hear about his time away from her. Yet, it also made her feel closer to him somehow. Every second that she spent by his side, she tried to burn it into her memory. Dark flashes would pass through her mind, reminding her that this happiness, this peace, was only temporary.

By the time night fell, there was a squirmy puppy held securely in Natsu's arms. He pressed his face into the puppy's fur, laughing as it tried to eat his hair. They returned the adorable creature to its proper owners and collected their small reward. Natsu turned to her and flashed the money, a big grin on his face.

"Well, what do you think we should spend this on?"

Lucy shrugged. "Take out?" She thought that his smile was going to split his face as he rushed to a nearby chicken restaurant. They ordered four mega containers of deep fried goodness before hurrying back to Lucy's place.

Lucy's apartment had never been so filled with noise. Natsu voice seemed to make the place feel alive. She couldn't help but smile as she watched him basically inhale his extra spicy chicken wings.

These were the moments that she wanted to remember.

"Hey, Luce…" He was staring down into his empty chicken bucket. "We're okay now, right?" He couldn't seem to look at her and she was struck by the sincerity of his question.

Doubts crept into her mind. Pain flared in her heart, making her feel like the organ was going to burst from her chest. It still hurt, it still hurt so much that he had left her. But, she knew that she needed to work through it.

No, they would never be anything more. That had become painfully apparent by his sudden disappearance.

"Yea, Natsu. We're okay." She placed her hand on his knee. He shivered beneath her touch.

"I missed you, Luce." His words cut through her and she immediately withdrew her hand.

"I missed you too, ya doofus." She playfully elbowed him in the side, making him smile.

"I missed you a lot more than I thought that I would." His words made her freeze. Finally, he turned to look at her, pinning her with his heated gaze. "I really, really did."

Lucy didn't know what to say to that.

He leaned forward and placed his hand on top of her own. He was so close now that she could smell the mass of seasonings that he had just consumed on his breath. She gulped.

What was happening right now?

His fingers dug into her, holding her firmly in her place. Not like she could move anyways, her body had gone completely numb. She was rooted to the spot. "How can I make it up to you? I know you said that we're okay and all… But, I feel really bad about it. Please, Luce. Tell me what I can do."

Her mouth was dry. She managed to shake her head, bringing herself back to reality while answering him at the same time. "There's nothing you can do, Natsu. We can't change the past. We're okay. We're really okay."

He didn't seem to believe her. His face pinched as he looked at her. "I don't believe you." The look he was giving her was one that she had only seen when he was in the heat of battle. A shiver coursed through her body, and he tightened his hold on her hand.

"Well, you should believe me." She muttered.

"You never used to lie to me, Luce." He sounded broken. His gaze never left her own. She cringed.

She didn't know what to say. She tried to pull her hand out of his, but he just held on like his life depended on it. She watched as his Adam's apple bobbed.

"I'm sorry for kissing you. I'm sorry for messing up our friendship. I'm sorry for running away from it all."

His words hung in the silence, both hurting and comforting her.

In that moment, she wanted him to kiss her again.

She wanted to believe that there could be more between them. She wanted to be selfish. She wanted more. She wanted more than he could give her.

She had moved in order to move on, yet her emotions had followed her. She wanted a family. She wanted a future. But, she knew those were things that she might never have.

"You don't have to be sorry for all those things."

"Which one don't I have to be sorry for?"

Lucy's breath hitched. She didn't want to answer that. She didn't want to tell him that he didn't need to be sorry for kissing her. She didn't want to even imply that she wished that he would do it again.

Without thinking, Lucy lunged forward and wrapped her arms around his toned middle. Her sudden movement pushed him back onto the couch. Without meaning to, she was laying on top of him. She quickly sat up, a blush staining her cheeks as she realized that now she was straddling him.

"Don't be silly, Natsu." She playfully giggled and swatted his chest as she moved off of him. His vest showed off his abs, and she couldn't help but notice the way that his muscles were tensed.

"I, um… I'm not being silly." He sat up slowly, his face a deep red. They both sat quietly for several moments as an uncomfortable tension fell over them. Lucy didn't know how to fix it. She wasn't sure what to do. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was beating in an uneven rhythm.

"Um, shouldn't Happy be looking for you by now?"

Natsu's eyes widened. "I guess so… I never did tell him that I was going out on a job." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Guess I should have let him know I'd be home late."

"You don't want to make him worry." Lucy stood up, beckoning him towards the door. "Goodnight, Natsu." She didn't mean to send him off so abruptly, but she suddenly felt uncomfortable around him, like she had crossed a line when she had accidentally laid on top of him. Her nerves were on fire, tingly and sharp from the adrenaline rush the feel of his skin had caused.

He looked a bit shocked, but walked out into the hallway anyways. "Night, Luce."

When the door shut behind him, Lucy felt all of her happiness disappear. All of her fears rushed at her. She was unable to avoid them anymore. Her solitude pressed in upon her, making her fears feel all the more real. Her fingers were tingling with a sharp, stabbing sensation. Silently, she prayed that tonight, at least, she wouldn't have another attack.

* * *

Over the next few days at the guild, Natsu knew that something was wrong. Gray was constantly shooting Lucy knowing glances, while Juvia would drag her away at lunchtime everyday. He wasn't dumb, he knew that they were keeping something from him.

Yet, he didn't want to push the subject. He was scared. He was scared of losing her and scared of pushing her away. The Lucy that he knew had always told him everything. In fact, he was the one she had always come to first. He had always loved that.

He knew that this was all his fault.

But, his fault or not, his worry was starting to overtake him. He had offered to take several other jobs with Lucy, but she turned down every single one unless it would only take a few hours to complete. He was going crazy imagining what could be wrong. He didn't know how to approach her. He didn't know how to ask her about what was wrong. He felt like he wasn't allowed into that part of her life, like he wasn't allowed to know her secrets anymore.

Natsu plopped down onto one of the benches in the guild. Gajeel sat across from him, a scowl painted on his face. "Why are you here, metal-head?"

Gajeel huffed. "Levy kicked me out, called me a nuisance."

Natsu couldn't help but laugh. "That girl is a saint for putting up with you."

"I know." Gajeel's face softened and he looked to the side. "I don't deserve her." If it wasn't for Natsu's enhanced hearing, he would have missed the softly spoken words.

"Maybe you don't." Sincerity dripped from Natsu's voice. Gajeel shot him a deadly look. "But, you're perfect together."

Gajeel's face flushed. "Thanks, flame-breath."

Natsu's eyes traveled across the guild in search of Lucy. He found her sitting with Erza. He wanted to go over and talk with her, but something held him back. "Do you know what's up with Luce, by the way?"

Gajeel's eyes widened slightly. "No. I haven't heard anything." He paused for a minute, thinking something over. "Levy hasn't mentioned anything, either."

"Oh." Natsu's eyes never left Lucy's form. She was laughing. She was just so… Beautiful.

"Is something wrong?"

Natsu shook his head, returning his gaze to his iron-studded friend. "I don't know. I hope not. But, I think she's keeping something from me."

"Then you need to force it out of her." Gajeel's voice was firm. "Don't let her go again."

"I don't want to push her away." Natsu's timid voice made Gajeel scoff.

"Get over yourself. What if she's thinking the same thing? You two idiots could be going round and round, wanting the same thing but both too scared to risk putting yourself out there." He ran a hand through his long, black hair. He was clearly uncomfortable, but he carried on anyways. "At least, that's what Levy tells me and she's generally right about these things."

"Thanks." Natsu's gaze traveled back to Lucy. She was with Juvia again. He frowned. "How long did Levy banish you for?"

"Just during lunch. Lily is keeping an eye on her right now."

Natsu flashed him a toothy grin, trying not to let Lucy's disappearance bother him. Juvia, as usual, had pulled her out of the guild. "You gettin' nervous yet?"

Gajeel crossed his arms across his chest. "Nah…" His eyes flashed over to Natsu, giving away the nerves that he was hiding. "But, Lily's pretty damn nervous."

Natsu laughed, which earned him a death glare. "You'll be a great Dad, Gajeel."

Gajeel nearly fell out of his seat at Natsu's sudden honesty. He didn't say anything , but Natsu understood the silence. They sat there, listening to the uproar of their fellow guild members, until lunch was over. Gajeel bolted up from his seat and dashed out of the guild. Natsu laughed at his retreating figure, but his amusement soon faded away.

Lucy still wasn't back yet.

He was getting paranoid. He looked around the guild and noticed that Gray and Juvia were still absent. Erza was gone too, but Natsu knew that she was meeting up with Jellal. He couldn't help but feel like something was being kept from him. Something important.

He couldn't contain the growl that slipped passed his lips, which only managed to alert his faithful, blue cat. Happy flew over to him and landed on the table in front of him.

"Natsu?" Happy's voice always managed to remind Natsu of his childhood. It was filled with playful innocence.

"What's up, bud?" He tried to exude some level of happiness, but his act wasn't fooling his long-time best friend.

Happy looked around the guild and noticeably deflated when he didn't find who he was looking for. "Where's Lucy?"

"I don't know." Natsu sighed. "I really don't know."

"Things have been weird, ever since we got back from that job." Happy eyed him, and Natsu squirmed underneath his gaze. "Is there something that you're not telling me?"

Natsu looked up at him. All of his walls fell down in that moment and he felt bare and vulnerable. "I guess… I didn't tell you everything."

Happy's eyes widened. He took out a large fish from his bag and after offering it to Natsu, who quickly declined, began to munch into his treat. "I'm listening."

After a quick glance around to make sure that no one was listening, Natsu confessed the worries that he held within his heart. Happy's eyes became nearly colossal when he told him that he had kissed Lucy. After his spiel, the blue cat stood up and shook his head.

"Natsu, you know nothing about women." He spread his wings and lifted into the air, banged Natsu hard on the head, and flew back over to Carla.

"Hey!" Natsu rubbed his now sore head. "What was that for?"

Happy didn't answer him. Natsu huffed and looked away from where his friend had deserted him.

It wasn't like Happy knew any more about girls than he did.

When Lucy still hadn't shown up a half hour later, he left the guild. The air was brisk and cold. He tucked his face into his scarf and began the walk to Lucy's place. She couldn't avoid him forever. He knew that she was keeping something from him. His anger and worry swirled together into a noxious mixture, upsetting his stomach. When he was finally outside of her door, he felt uncharacteristically nervous. After taking a steadying breath, he knocked on her door.

There was no answer.

He frowned and knocked again. When no one answered, he pressed his ear against the door. He couldn't hear anyone inside.

If she wasn't home, then where was she?

Before he could think about what to do next, he heard someone enter the building. He jerked his head away from the door, only to see Gray supporting Lucy.

His hands curled into fists.

This was the second time in a damn week that he had seen her in Gray's arms.

He just wanted to fucking punch something.

Gray's eyes widened at the sight of him, but he didn't stop. Lucy was nearly asleep. She stumbled along with him, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist while her head rested upon his shoulder. Natsu immediately moved out of the way.

Lucy… She didn't look good.

Gray unlocked her door and quickly brought Lucy to her bedroom. Natsu followed close behind, unwilling to let the blonde out of his sight. Gray laid her on the bed and pulled the covers over her. By now, Lucy was sound asleep. Sweat coated her brow. Natsu immediately went into the kitchen and wetted a cloth before returning to the bedroom. He pressed it against her forehead and she sighed. As soon as he was sure that she would be okay for a few minutes, he leveled Gray with a glare and motioned for him to follow him out into the living room. Natsu quietly shut the door behind them before he turned to look at Gray. Gray's usually stoic attitude had collapsed. He looked vulnerable.

"What's going on?" Natsu tried to keep his desperation out of his voice.

"I can't tell you." Gray's voice was monotone, but his face gave away his emotions. He felt torn. It was obvious.

"Why the hell not?"

Gray shook his head, not giving in to Natsu's anger. "It's not my secret to tell."

So, they really were keeping something from him.

"You should talk to her." Gray sighed and ran a hand down his weary face. "Maybe she'll listen to you."

Natsu scoffed. "I doubt that. She doesn't tell me anything anymore."

"And who's fault is that?"

"I know! I know it's my fault!" As soon as the words left his lips, Natsu slammed his mouth shut.

"Good… That's good you know that." Gray headed towards the door, looking more worn down than he had in years. "If you don't want to lose her, grow some balls." Before Natsu could even formulate a response, Gray was gone.

Natsu stared at the place where the ice-mage had disappeared, until he heard a soft groan from Lucy's room. His body reacted before he could even think. Within seconds, he was kneeling down by her side. She had thrown off her covers and her body was drenched in sweat.

"Oh, Luce…" Pain filled his voice as he grabbed the cloth that he had placed on her forehead. It had already warmed up. He quickly moved to the kitchen and filled a small bowl with ice cold water. He knelt beside her again and quickly wetted the cloth. He wrung it out before he dabbed it on her sweaty arms.

He did that for hours. He moved the cloth around, cooling her forehead, her face, her arms, and her neck. When she finally stopped sweating, he dropped the cloth in the bowl and simply stared at her. He had pulled her blanket over her again. He reached up and gently brushed a stray hair out of her face. His fingers lingered on her jawline. Her skin was so soft.

His face twisted in worry as he watched her sleep. His heart clenched painfully. How bad was this secret that she was keeping from him? Could she be…

He shook the thought from his head. He could feel his mind drifting into dangerous territory and he tried, in vain, to divert his thoughts. Lucy was okay. She was right there, in front of him. He gently weaved his fingers through her hair.

Lucy…

Her chest rose and fell slowly. She always looked so peaceful when she slept. With a slight blush staining his cheeks, he leaned forward and pressed his lips upon her forehead. It was then, with his lips brushing her skin, that he mumbled the words that he had been dying to say for a long time.

"I love you, Luce."

~ Author's Note ~

Hello, everyone! I meant to get this out several hours ago, but I got a flat tire and everything today got pushed back.

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. What do you think of this chapter? Let me know your thoughts!

~ FeudalAi


	8. Chapter 8

Lucy groaned. Her entire body hurt. Random aches shot up from her limbs, making her feel like she had been in a fight with a bag of rocks. Light invaded her room and she slowly opened her eyes. A mop of pink hair greeted her. She sucked in a deep breath and looked at him. Natsu was sitting on the floor with his head resting against the side of her bed. He was sound asleep and light snores were escaping him. She couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't crawled into bed with her like he usually did. She smiled softly and reached out to run her fingers through his pink locks. His hair was always so soft…

Confusion swept over her as she tried to remember when he had gotten there. The last thing she could remember…

She sucked in a sharp gust of air and yanked her hand away from his hair.

She couldn't remember anything after the hospital. Gray must have walked her home… But, that didn't explain why Natsu was here. She shuddered as her memories came back to her. Yesterday was the first day of her experimental treatment. Hikaru was still meddling with the formula, not quite happy with it yet. At first, it had made her feel good. When the blue-green liquid had worked its way down the tube and into her vein, she had felt relieved. It had sent a cooling sensation throughout her body. It was only once the treatment was over that she felt the adverse effects. She had thrown up nearly immediately. Heat had coursed through her body, as if trying to fight off the soothing effects of the cold medicine. Hikaru had kept a careful eye on her, making sure that she would be okay, before he allowed Gray to take her home.

She had felt so exhausted and so incredibly tired.

With a resigned sigh, she realized that she must have fallen asleep and Gray had somehow managed to get her home. At her old place, it wasn't unusual for Natsu to just randomly show up.

She smiled and leaned forward slightly, just enough so that his hair tickled her face. Her entire body felt heavy and sluggish. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to wake him. She didn't want to think about much of anything. She would have to go to the hospital again today. While they weren't going to administer the drug again, she still dreaded the thought of entering that sterile place. Hikaru was only trying to help her, yet mid-barf she couldn't help but resent him in that moment. She'd have to go and apologize to him later for the rash words that had escaped her mouth…

Natsu groaned and she immediately leaned back. When he lifted his head and looked at her, all drowsy and adorable, she couldn't help but blush. "Good morning, Natsu."

He leaned back and stretched, making his bones pop. "Morning, Luce." He narrowed his eyes and looked at her closely, making her squirm beneath his searching gaze. "You feeling okay?"

Lucy bit the inside of her cheek, already hating that she was about to lie to him yet again. "Yep! I guess I really did get the flu bad, huh?" Silently, she prayed that he remembered her using that as an excuse a few days before.

His face shifted. He looked torn and confused. "Is that all it is?" His voice was so soft that she barely heard him. His words hit her hard and she bit the inside of her cheek a little bit harder.

"Of course it is." Even she didn't believe her wavering voice.

Natsu reached up and snagged her hand from under the covers. He slid his fingers through hers and tightened his hold, making a new kind of heat rush through her body. "Luce, please, tell me what's wrong?" His voice begged her, compelled her, to open up.

Lucy just wanted to cry.

"Nothing… Nothing is wrong." Her voice shook and he squeezed her hand tighter. He pulled her hand towards him and nearly pressed it against his chest.

"Luce…" His voice cracked. Tears glistened in his eyes. Lucy couldn't handle it. She didn't know what to do. Her heart clenched painfully within her chest. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to open up. She wanted him to be there for her. Yet… She didn't want him to know that she was sick. She didn't want him to know that… To know that…

To know that she might die.

"Natsu…" She started to shake and he immediately jumped up into her bed. Before she could even realize what was happening, she was in his arms. He had squirmed his way under her blankets and had pulled her onto his lap. Her head was cradled against his chest, their hands still intwined. Lucy gasped, her head spinning from the sudden movement. She could feel his breath brushing against the top of her head.

"Tell me, Luce." He whispered the words against her hair before he gently nuzzled her.

She didn't know what was happening. She was equal parts terrified and thrilled. The way he was holding her… Her nerves lit on fire and butterflies tumbled into her gut. Her breath lodged in her throat. Everything suddenly felt hot. She was boiling up, but not from her sickness this time.

"Please, don't make me tell you… Please." Without meaning to, she was crying. Hot, wet tears rolled down her cheeks. She pressed her face into his warm chest. His grip tightened on her and he let go of her hand in favor of gently wiping her tears away.

"Luce… If you're hurt, if something is wrong with you, I want to know. I want to help you. I…" He shivered and pulled her closer against him. "I can't lose you. I was stupid for leaving before. Please, don't push me away."

Lucy pressed her hand against his chest and relished in the feeling and sound of his heartbeat. It was a steady 'thump, thump' that soothed her. She had been so terrified when she thought that he was going to die. When he had finally emerged after his battle with Zeref, all worn out and beaten up, she had never felt happier. If she did die because she re-wrote his book, she would be okay with that.

She had known, for a very long time, that she would give up her life for him.

But, Natsu wouldn't thank her for that. If he knew… If he knew that she might die because she re-wrote his book, he would hate himself. No matter what happened, she did not want him to blame himself. She wouldn't allow that.

But, she had to tell him something. Even if it wasn't the whole truth, it was time to tell him that she was sick. She would be getting those horrible, intensive treatments often now. She would be coming home sick a lot. He was bound to notice.

In fact, she was sure that everyone would be bound to notice.

Her fingers dug gently into his chest. She pinched her eyes shut and breathed him in. He smelled like pine mixed with the subtle scent of burnt wood, almost like a campfire. "I'm sick." She never knew that two words could be so hard to say.

His hand moved to cradle the back of her head. His fingers pressed gently against her skull, keeping her firmly in place. "With what?" He croaked.

"They… They don't know."

He growled, low and deep. "How the fuck can they not know?" He snapped. She waited until his growl fell away until she answered him.

"All they know was that it was caused by magic. But, um, they don't know by what kind of magic or when it happened. There isn't enough research on that kind of stuff to know…" She trailed off, hating that she wasn't tell him the whole truth.

Natsu was quiet for a long moment as he took in what she had just said. "How bad is it?"

Lucy stilled. This was the question that she had been fearing. "It's bad." She couldn't say more. Her jaw locked up and she started to shake. She didn't know how to tell him… She didn't know how to tell him that she might die.

He let go of her head and leaned back. He lifted her chin with his finger, forcing her to meet his fearful gaze. He looked scared. She wanted to look away from him, but his eyes held her captive. "How bad?

Lucy gulped and felt more tears escape her eyes as she managed to answer. "Natsu, I could die."

The whole world went utterly, incomprehensibly, still. Everything in that moment froze. All that she could see was his widened eyes. All that she could see was the fear etched into his face. She could hardly breathe.

When the stillness stopped, everything jerked back into motion. Natsu shoved his face into her hair. His breath was hot on her neck. It came in quick bursts, urgently, like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. His fingertips dug into her, but she didn't mind. He didn't speak. It took a long time for his breathing to return to normal and, even then, he didn't let go of her. He simply leaned back and looked at her with red-rimmed eyes that seemed primed to cry.

"I'm here for you, Luce. I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. There is no fucking way I'm gonna let you die." He exuded determination and she couldn't help but weakly smile.

"Thank you, Natsu."

Natsu's firm and determined demeanor fell and he leaned back from her, gripping her upper arms. "I wanna know everything. But, first I gotta pee. I'm sorry." After she nodded, he quickly let go of her and bounded out of the bed. He stopped momentarily at the door and glanced back at her before darting to the bathroom.

Lucy just stared at where he had disappeared. She rubbed her temple, feeling the beginning of a headache coming on. Natsu…

"Forgive me." She whispered. Her soft voice filled the emptiness of her room as she succumbed to the fear that was eating at her. With slow, careful movements, she moved out to the kitchen to start making some much needed breakfast.

* * *

Natsu collapsed as soon as he shut the bathroom door. Lucy… A sob burst from his throat, raw and painful. He couldn't stop the bulbous tears that streamed down his face. His heart felt like it was tearing in two. How was this kind of pain even possible?

He shoved his fist into his mouth in a desperate attempt to stop the noises that he was making. His sobs were loud, erupting from the deepest part of him as sorrow engulfed him. He bit into his fingers, trying to gain control. He couldn't be a mess in front of her. He couldn't break down in front of her. He had to be strong for her.

He had to be strong.

Yet, he had never felt weaker. Muffled cries erupted from him, sharp noises filled with sadness. Lucy couldn't die. Lucy couldn't die. Lucy couldn't die. He repeated it like a mantra. He had known that something was wrong, but he hadn't thought that it would be that bad.

He was fucking terrified.

She had been so sick last night. Sure, she looked better right now. But, her face was still sickly pale. Lucy really was sick. She was very, very sick. He banged his other fist against his leg over and over.

He didn't know how long he stayed in the bathroom like that. He sat on the floor until his tears dried up, blood coated his knuckles from where he had bitten them, and his thigh was bruised from his continued self-abuse. His breathing was staggered. He couldn't seem to get it under control. He leaned his head back against the wall and sucked in greedy breaths of air.

A minute later, he forced himself to stand up. He splashed some icy cold water on his face in a vain attempt to hide his red and puffy eyes. He didn't want her to know that he was crying…

He looked in the mirror and stared back at his reflection. "Get your shit together." He muttered, his voice bitter and angry. Self-hatred began to fill him as he imagined all of the what-ifs.

What if he hadn't gone away on that job? Would he have been able to help her? Would she have told him that something was wrong sooner? Maybe she would have never even gotten sick in the first place…

If he had never left… Everything, absolutely fucking everything, might be different.

A soft knock on the door made him jolt. "Natsu?" Lucy's soft voice called out to him and slow tears began to fall once more down his face. He wiped at them angrily. "I made some pancakes, do you want some?"

Natsu coughed to clear his sore throat. "Um, yea, sure! I'll be right out." He heard her move away from the door and he splashed some more water on his face. He pinched his cheeks before he took one more deep breath and opened the door. The smell of fresh pancakes immediately assaulted his senses and his stomach growled. Lucy's sweet laughter at the offending noise brought him back to life.

"Smells great." Natsu sat at the table just as Lucy heaped a humongous pile of pancakes onto a plate and handed it to him. She was smiling, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She looked nervous, jittery. She sat down with her own, much smaller, plate of pancakes. Even as he ate, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. There was an odd tension between them. How could she look so okay now, when just last night she was a complete mess?

When they finished eating, Lucy finally spoke. "Do you wanna head to the guild with me?"

He couldn't help but growl. "Do you really think going to the guild is the best thing right now?" She narrowed her eyes and Natsu immediately remembered being on the receiving end of a 'Lucy kick'. He gulped and scooted a few inches backwards.

"I've been sick for over a month, Natsu. That hasn't stopped me from going to the guild this whole time."

He flinched, suddenly recalling her words from several days ago. When she had told him that she needed him here… He pinched his eyes shut and breathed through the sudden pain that slammed into his chest. She had needed him because she was sick, and he hadn't been there for her. He had just run off and left her all alone. He was such a bastard.

"Okay, Luce…" He took a deep breath and looked at her. She was watching him with wide eyes. He forced a smile onto his face and stood up, holding his hand out to her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet before letting go. "When's your next doctor's appointment?" He questioned as he walked over to the couch. Lucy headed towards the shower. She paused in the entrance to the bathroom, but didn't turn around to look at him.

"I go everyday at lunch. But, they won't be giving me the new treatment today. It's just testing and observation."

Natsu stared at her back, his hands curled into fists. "Can I come with you?" His voice was soft yet firm, his need apparent.

"Yea… You can come." Her voice was barley more than a whisper before she disappeared into the bathroom. He just stared at the door. Worry etched his features. Lucy… His Lucy…

She had to be okay.

If she wasn't okay, if he lost her… Well, he would lose it.

* * *

By the time that lunch rolled around, Lucy was nervously watching for Gray. Natsu was across the guild, talking to Erza about something, so this was her only chance to escape to the hospital without him noticing. She knew that she had told him that he could come with her, but the thought of him seeing her looking all weak while they tested her made her feel really uncomfortable. She wanted to be strong in his eyes. She didn't want to be weak.

For a long time, she had thought that she was the weakest link. She had felt powerless against their stronger foes and hated that she had to rely on others. She had become so much stronger after the guild had disbanded. She had learned to rely on herself. Losing Aquarius had changed her. Losing the guild had changed her. Losing Natsu had changed her… She had pushed herself and trained as often as she possibly could. She had earned the star dresses that she wore. Finally, she felt strong.

She didn't want to feel weak again.

After making sure, once again, that Natsu was still talking to Erza, Lucy bolted from her spot and dashed across the guild to where she had spotted Juvia. "Hey, Juvia. Where's Gray?"

Juvia quirked her head at her. "He had to take a job, so I'm going to go with you today."

"Oh, okay. Well, can we go then?" Lucy was bouncing on the balls of her feet, desperate to escape.

"Sure!" Juvia chirped.

Lucy breathed a sigh of relief as soon as they stepped out into the cold air. A real smile spread across her face as she thought that she was home free.

Just then, Natsu snagged her wrist and spun her to face him. "Where do you think you're going?" He sounded almost predatory.

Juvia bounced beside them, unsure of what to do or say as Natsu stared at Lucy. Lucy coughed and withdrew her wrist from Natsu's grasp. She scrambled for an excuse, ashamed that she had tried to deceive him. "Well, I…"

"I need her for something." Juvia burst in. Lucy smiled softly and placed a hand on Juvia's shoulder.

"It's okay, Juvia. He knows."

Juvia's eyes widened and her mouth popped open. "He knows?"

Lucy nodded her head and Natsu folded his arms across his chest. "Yea, I know. So, let's get going already." He shot Lucy a withering look before storming on ahead. Lucy and Juvia followed a few steps behind him. There was only one hospital in Magnolia. It was very large though, which was why Lucy thought that if she had been able to beat him there, he would never have been able to find her within the maze of rooms and hallways.

Instead, he stuck closely to her side. He didn't bring up her trying to ditch him, but Lucy knew that it was bothering him. They weaved their way through the people that crowded the lobby before they made their way into the all-too familiar treatment room. About five other patients were already there and, not for the first time, Lucy wished that there was a bit more privacy. She walked over and sat down. Now, the wait began.

About twenty minutes later, Hikaru rushed in. He looked out of breath and his clothes were in disarray. His eyes widened slightly when he noticed the newcomer, but he didn't say anything before sidling up to Lucy. "Sorry I'm late." He huffed as he tried to catch his breath.

"It's okay." Lucy smiled. Natsu huffed beside her. She didn't turn to look at him. She kept her entire focus on the doctor before her.

"How are you feeling today, Lucy?" Hikaru reached out and gently grabbed her wrist. He flipped it over and began to skillfully check her pulse before he moved to take her temperature. Lucy heard Natsu shuffle beside her, but she still didn't take her gaze away from the doctor.

"I'm feeling pretty good today, just a little worn down."

Hikaru nodded and wrote down her information. "How did you feel last night after you went home?" Lucy stiffened. Her mouth went dry. She was just about to answer, when Natsu's gruff voice cut in.

"She was really out of it. Barely awake at first, then she flat out passed out. Her entire body was hot and covered in sweat for hours."

Hikaru's eyes widened slightly before he nodded, soaking in the information. "Based off of that, I think that from now on you will need to stay the night at the hospital when you have treatment."

"What?" Lucy's voice trembled and she felt Natsu's hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him. His face was stiff as he stared at the doctor. His grip tightened on her shoulder, as if to reassure himself that she was alive.

Hikaru smiled sadly at her. "I was nervous even letting you leave last night. But, you insisted so strongly…" He sighed and looked over her patient folder before looking back at her again. "We need to run a few blood tests today. I want to see if the medication has taken any effect. After yesterday, I adjusted the formula a bit more. But, I need to warn you, it is going to be a very intense treatment. While I don't have much research to base it off of, I can tell you what I strongly believe the possible side effects will be." He took a deep breath and held her eyes captive with his own, making sure that she understood the seriousness of the conversation that they were having. "Nausea, vomiting, fever, cold chills, and even seizures could all be possible side effects. I can't promise you that the treatment will work. But, if you don't accept the treatment and all that it entails, I don't believe that you will have more than a month left to live."

Natsu's grip on her shoulder became nearly painful. But, she was thankful for the pain. It kept her focused on the moment instead of spilling down into a pit of her own fear. She knew that she had been getting worse as the days went by, but she hadn't thought that it was that bad.

One month…

Was that even enough time to finish her novel?

She nearly laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of that thought. Finishing that damn book shouldn't be her biggest concern. It was just ludicrous that finishing her novel was the first thought that she had when she was told how little time she had left. She shook her head, making herself focus. She would fight this. She wouldn't let this disease define her.

"Lucy, I need to know if you will accept this treatment. If so, we need to take care of some paperwork…"

"Of course she fucking accepts the treatment!" Natsu snapped. Lucy's head jerked to look at him. Smoke was billowing from his mouth and his muscles were tensed. Immediately, she pressed her hand lightly against his chest. As soon as he felt her calming touch, the smoke stopped and his muscles relaxed. She smiled softly at him before dropping her hand and turning back to look at a bewildered Hikaru.

"Yes, I accept the treatment. I know that it may not work… But, I want to try."

Hikaru nodded and a wide smile stretched across his face. "Good. I'm really happy to hear that." He motioned towards a nurse who quickly grabbed the equipment to draw blood. Lucy flinched when she saw the needle. "Well, are you ready to get started?"

Lucy nodded.

She was ready. She was ready to fight. She was ready to be strong. This was one fight that she couldn't lose.

As the needle slid into her arm, she tried not to think about everything ahead of her. Instead, she watched Natsu's face, equal parts happy and terrified that he was there with her.

* * *

After everything was done and she had signed all of the paperwork they left the hospital. Lucy walked in a daze. She knew that her treatment was going to be expensive, just not that expensive. Hikaru, hesitantly, had presented her with an estimated total cost for one month of treatment. It had shocked her to her core. He had explained the costs, and even offered her a generous discount since she agreed to allow him to write a research paper on her condition and experimental treatment. Still, she honestly wasn't sure how she was going to afford it. She stared down at the bill clutched in her hand. It was easily three times her rent. She couldn't even take on any decent jobs while she was receiving treatment.

She didn't know what she was going to do…

She barely even registered that Natsu and Juvia were still with her as she made her way back to the guild. She didn't want to go back to the solitude of her apartment right now. She would have another infusion of the medication in two days. Today, she just wanted to breathe.

When she pushed open the guild doors she smiled as the rush of familiar noise greeted her. She loved it there. Fairy Tail was her sanctuary. It was filled with life, love, friendship, and family. There was really nothing quite like it.

They spent hours at the guild, doing basically nothing. Lucy had her journal propped open in front of her, but she was having a really hard time concentrating on Stella and Blaise. She didn't know where she wanted their story to go next. How would Blaise react to seeing his long-lost brother for the first time in years? What would Stella do next after realizing that she was in love with her best friend? She didn't know the answers to her questions, thus she felt paralyzed. Her pencil lingered above the page, yet she never made a single mark. Her brain was clouded. It was too hard to think right now. All that she could see were swirling numbers in her mind.

How was she going to pay the hospital bill?

Again and again that thought circulated in her mind. She had never felt so desperate for money before. After leaving her rich life behind, even when money was slim, she had never truly craved its presence back in her life. She had always managed to get by. She had always been able to take on jobs with Natsu. Now, for the first time since she left home, she craved her family money. She felt as if the walls were closing in on her. She had never known that not having money could feel so debilitating.

She hated this. She hated longing for money. She had seen what money had done to her Dad after her Mom had died. She had watched his downfall. Money could destroy people. Greed was worse than any virus. She didn't want to be greedy. She didn't want to hunger for money. She wasn't pathetic, after all.

With a frustrated sigh, she slammed her journal shut. The guild was filled with boisterous cheers as stars began to fill the sky. She wanted to feel like her old self and be able to join in with her fellow guild mates, but she just couldn't. It was time to go home. She said goodnight to everyone before she left. She felt relieved when Natsu didn't follow her. He simply watched her go with a resigned face.

When she stepped outside and the cold air bit into her skin, it refreshed her. She stared at the stars as she walked, her fingers fumbling with her keys the entire time. The gentle hum of their magic brushed against her fingertips, soothing her. She walked slowly, enjoying how alive she felt as the cold painted her cheeks red. When she finally entered her building and climbed the flight of stairs, she found Gray leaning, half-naked, against her front door.

"Gray? What are you doing here?"

He scooted over so that she could unlock the door. "We need to talk."

Lucy simply nodded and motioned for him to follow her into the apartment. He didn't sit down. He crossed his arms against his chest and stared at her as she moved around the kitchen getting a kettle going to make tea. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

He didn't move. Even as she took out two mugs and placed them on the table. He simply watched her every movement before finally speaking. "I saw Juvia when I got back. She told me that you told Natsu."

Lucy stiffened but nodded in response. "Yea, I told him. He knew that something was wrong."

"Exactly how much did you tell him, Lucy?" He shifted nervously and looked away from her.

She knew immediately what he was referring to. "No, I didn't tell him that I'm sick because I re-wrote his book." Gray immediately sighed in relief. She knew that he blamed himself. She could tell, just by watching him, that he didn't want Natsu to feel the weight of her disease placed upon his shoulders as well. Natsu… She knew that he would feel completely responsible. She didn't want him to blame himself. She didn't want Gray to blame himself, either. But, no matter what she said to him it didn't seem to get through.

Guilt was a toxic thing.

"Good… That's good." Gray said and finally sat down. She poured them each a cup of tea before sitting down across from him.

"He can't find out. Not ever. No matter what happens. Promise me, Gray… Promise me that no matter what happens, you won't let him ever find out the truth."

Gray's grip tightened on his mug and a soothing chill filled the air. "I promise, Lucy. No matter what happens, I won't let him find out the truth."

~ Author's Note ~

Hello, everyone! Can you believe that we are on chapter eight already! Wow…

Anyways, I really hope that you are enjoying the story. Thanks to all of my fabulous reviewers, I managed to get two chapters out this week.

Also, I just wanted to say a quick apology for not having Juvia talk in the third person. I just hate writing someone talking in third person. So, please forgive me for making her speech a bit OC.

Please, review and let me know your thoughts!

~ FeudalAi


	9. Chapter 9

Infusion day.

"Fuck." Lucy muttered beneath her breath as the large needle slid into her arm and the poisonous medicine seeped into her veins. It sent a shiver through her body. Natsu's arm immediately snaked around her shoulders and she shuddered. He simply squeezed her tighter. He stood beside her, silent and stoic. All day today he had refused to leave her side.

She felt like she could barely breathe.

At first, as the medicine trickled into her, she felt a sense of calm. Then, it all changed. She could feel as it began to fight the raging heat that was trapped within her. As the needle was finally withdrawn from her arm, after a solid hour of painstaking silence, she tried to shrug out of Natsu's grasp. Yet, his arm only tightened as his fingers dug softly into her flesh. Hikaru was off to the side, checking over her charts, and she quickly shot a glare at Natsu.

"Natsu…" His name came out as a moan. His eyes widened and he looked at her, meeting her flushed gaze.

"What's wrong? Tell me, Lucy."

"Too hot…" She mumbled as she weakly tried to escape his grasp. He frowned and started to slowly withdraw his arm. "Oh no…" She mumbled just as she felt acid begin to crawl up the back of her throat. She gagged and flung her head over the side of the chair. Natsu stiffened in panic and it was only seconds before the vile liquid erupted from her that a silver bedpan was placed beneath her mouth. As soon as she finished heaving, she pushed her bangs back from her forehead. They were sticky with sweat. She leaned back to look up at her savior only to find an apologetic and knowing look on Hikaru's face.

"Here, have some water. Just little sips, okay?"

Lucy nodded and gratefully took the cup of water that he offered. "Thanks." She whispered after managing to swallow a few sips.

"It's to be expected." Hikaru took her glass and set it on the table. "In a few minutes a nurse will be by to bring you to your room. Thankfully, that room is private. It's not all that fancy, but you'll have privacy and a nurse will be by often to check on you." He paused for a moment and straightened up a bit more. "I'll be stopping by too."

Lucy's eyes widened. "You will?" She hated the desperation hat leaked into her voice.

He nodded. "Yes. I want to keep a close eye on you." His eyes held onto her own for a lingering moment before he turned and walked away.

Natsu scoffed and crossed his arms. Lucy spared him a quick glare, before immediately refocusing on herself. She had felt a wave of relief after throwing up, but she was quickly feeling nauseous again. It creeped up on her, crawling through her body as an all-out war raged inside of her. She leaned back into her seat and groaned. She could feel beads of sweat begin to roll down her forehead. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

"That nurse better fucking hurry up." Natsu mumbled before she felt a cool cloth pressed against her forehead. She cracked open her eyes to see his worry filled expression as he lightly patted her forehead.

"I'm okay Natsu, don't worry."

His face only tightened. "You're not okay." His voice quivered and she shut her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see his face. She didn't want to see the pain that she knew was lingering there. She didn't want to see…

She didn't want to be reminded of all that she could lose.

He continued to dab her forehead. The soothing cloth traveled down her face to her neck before he lightly dabbed at her collarbone. A different kind of shiver coursed through her body. She wanted to say something to him, but her lips didn't want to work they way that they should. She barely even registered it as a few nurses helped to move her onto a bed and rolled her into her private room.

For the next two hours, she didn't know much of what was going on around her. She threw up a few more times, but mostly she was passed out. When she finally came to, Natsu was still beside her. Her right hand was tightly held within his calloused grasp. He was talking with Hikaru, but she couldn't grasp the words. They flew through her mind simultaneously too fast and too slow for her to comprehend. It was like she was listening to everything through a thick fog of pudding.

All that she knew for sure was that Natsu was holding her hand, and she liked it.

She squeezed his hand, cherishing his warmth. Natsu…

She felt it when he leaned closer to her. Heat radiated from his body and she subconsciously leaned towards him. It was then, in that sterile hospital room with the annoying buzzing of machines, that she felt him lean forward and place a soft kiss against her forehead. It was then, in that moment, that her heart went still for just a fraction of a moment.

"What am I gonna do if I lose ya, Luce?" Pain etched his voice as he brushed her hair off of her forehead. His fingers lingered against her skin, hot and enticing. "I can't lose you… I just can't. I can't lose you too." Lucy heard the catch in his voice and memories of Igneel flared through her mind.

She didn't want to leave him.

She just hoped this medicine would work.

She tried to move her lips to speak, but she couldn't seem to function. A weird mixture of dread and hope filled her gut as she felt his fingers travel down her jawline before they followed the curve of her neck. Tendrils of hot, fiery need snaked through her. They were in stark contrast with the sickly feeling that inhabited every centimeter of her body. She just wanted to lean into him. She wished that he would crawl into her hospital bed and wrap her in his comforting embrace.

But, he didn't move from the chair beside her.

"Natsu…" It took all of her strength to speak. Immediately, she felt him squeeze her hand. She could feel his breath on her cheek. He was so close, yet so far. She let her fears bubble up inside of her and she couldn't stop the words that spilled from her mouth. "I'm scared."

"Luce…" His forehead was against her own now. His breath tickled her face. She pinched her eyes shut a bit tighter. She couldn't look at him. She licked her suddenly parched lips as she worked up the nerve to speak again.

"I'm so scared…" Her voice came out uneven and she felt him lean a bit closer, just until their noses were touching.

"It's going to be okay, Luce…" His whispered words did little to reassure her. She forced herself to open her eyes and she immediately became lost within his gaze. Fear clung to him. It was such an unusual thing to see written so clearly on his face that she sucked in a sharp breath. "You're going to be okay."

She felt like her world was falling apart.

Yet, here he was, her steadfast savior. He was always there for her… Memories of his disappearances flashed through her mind but she pushed them away. Besides those two times, he had always been there for her. When she needed him, he would come. She knew, without a doubt, that he would always come when she called.

This was only her second treatment and she felt wretched. She still had a long way to go. She wasn't going to give up without a fight. But, if she was going to die, there was one thing that she knew for sure…

She would tell him that she loved him before she breathed her last breath.

He drew in a shaky breath before his fingers lightly brushed behind her ear. "Luce, you're not going to leave me."

"I won't leave you." She whispered. Her soft words seemed to comfort him and he leaned back as a large grin stretched across his face.

"Course you won't. You're too strong to let some dumb disease take ya down. Look at all of the people you've beaten! We're a team, no one can beat us."

She smiled up at him. The muscles in her face didn't want to move. She felt immobilized. It took all of her strength, but she managed to lift her arm and lightly punch him on the shoulder. "No one can beat us."

Natsu stayed by her side until the hospital staff kicked him out. Even then, he wouldn't leave until she forced him to. All she wanted to do was sleep, but every time a nurse came into the room to check her vitals she would wake up. It was after midnight when Hikaru finally entered the room. He sat down beside her and she watched as he tried to hide his worry from her.

"How's it looking, doc?"

He smirked at her playful tone. "I'm glad to see that you still have some humor."

Lucy pushed herself up into a sitting position, glad that she had some strength back in her limbs. "Well, I can't just let some little life-changing disease ruin my life, now can I?"

He smiled softly before he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, as a serious look painted his handsome face. "I wish that we could sit here and joke all night. I wish that things could be as relaxed as that night you and Erza rescued me and we talked by the fire. But, I don't want to hide things from you…" He sighed before meeting her gaze. "Your prognosis doesn't look good. The nurses have been reporting your numbers to me all night… It's hard to tell this early on, but it does seem like the medicine is beginning to work. However, I don't think that it is working fast enough. I know that I shouldn't be telling you all of this, not before I have confirmed it… I just…" He trailed off and leaned back into his chair, his posture slouched. "I'm not used to caring for my patients. That night, by the fire, I really thought that we could be friends."

Lucy smiled softly as her glimmer of hope plummeted. "We are friends, Hikaru. Don't worry about that."

He smiled. "You know, my daughter would love to meet you."

Lucy's eyes widened. "You have a daughter?"

Hikaru blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. Her name is Taki. She's only nine, but she loves your book. Seriously, when she knew that you were one of the people who rescued me you should have seen the way she freaked out." He laughed before looking at her again. "My wife… She died two years ago and Taki… She wasn't handling it well. I didn't know how to help her. Then, she read your book and learned about you…" He took a deep breath to steady himself. "You saved my daughter, Lucy. You and your book. You saved her."

Lucy's breath caught in her throat. Her writing had saved someone?

Her writing had saved Taki?

"I know that it's inappropriate for me to ask, but would you be willing to meet her sometime?" He was so nervous and shy; it was adorable.

An overwhelming sense of pride swelled within her, overcoming the dread that had settled in her stomach. "Of course, I'd love to meet your daughter. What's she like?" She shot him a warm smile and that was all that it took for him to begin excitedly telling her all about his little girl. Lucy fed off of his excitement. Yet, one thought kept circling through her mind over and over again.

She would never have that.

She would never get to have a child of her own.

* * *

Natsu laid in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Happy was fast asleep already, but Natsu couldn't seem to drift off. All that he could think about was Lucy, all alone, in that big hospital.

He could lose her.

He knew it. He knew it from the way the nurses looked at her. He knew it from the way that Hikaru studied her chart. He knew that her chances weren't high, and it was killing him inside. Pain swirled in his gut like a hurricane. He couldn't contain it. It was an all-consuming dread that threatened to devour him. He didn't know how to live without her. He didn't know how he had survived before he met her. Once he had met her that day in Hargeon, nothing had ever been the same again. They were a team, inseparable.

Painful memories of him leaving swirled in the back of his mind and, not for the first time, guilt stabbed at him.

Regardless of his mistakes, regardless of the fact that he had disappeared on her more than once, he knew that he couldn't live without her. Losing Igneel had been hard enough… He couldn't lose her too.

He couldn't lose her, especially when she didn't even know how he felt.

He had been a fucking idiot before. Why hadn't he told her ages ago how he felt? Why had he been so scared?

Maybe, by now they would have been something. Maybe, they would have been engaged or even married. Maybe, they would have even started a family like Gajeel and Levy…

All of the maybes and what ifs circulated in his head on an endless loop, tormenting him with his lack of action.

He couldn't fight this battle for her.

He couldn't just will her to get better.

He loved her.

He flipped over and shoved his face into his pillow before a frustrated cry erupted from him. Lucy… His heart clenched and his breathing became shaky as fear gripped his heart.

He hadn't felt anything quite like it since the day that Igneel had disappeared. The only feeling that had ever been worse was the moment that Igneel had died. He didn't want to experience that again. He didn't want to know how it would feel to see Lucy die…

Fuck diseases.

Fuck death.

That night, he hardly got a moment of rest. Morning couldn't come fast enough. As soon as the first rays of sunlight had trickled over the horizon, he had dashed towards the hospital. He was sure that he was going to get there too early. Lucy wouldn't even be released for several more hours. But, he couldn't stand to be away from her. He simply had to be near her. When he finally got close to the hospital's front door he spotted a shirtless Gray leaning up against the entrance.

He stopped for a brief second before nodding at Gray and entering the building. Gray followed after him and they both settled into seats in the waiting room. It would still be a half hour before visitors were allowed into the patient rooms. He couldn't help but notice the way that Gray's leg shook nervously as they waited. Natsu's eyebrow rose as he eyed his icy friend.

"Why are you so nervous?" He questioned. Gray's leg immediately stopped shaking and he looked away from him. Natsu's eyebrows furrowed. That was odd.

"I'm not nervous. I'm just anxious to see if Lucy is okay."

"Okay…" Natsu mumbled, not completely believing him. Gray looked uncharacteristically nervous and it was starting to bother him. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Gray wouldn't hide anything from him, would he? No, no he wouldn't hide anything. They were a team, after all. Lucy had already told him that she was sick, there was nothing left to hide. "How are the wedding preparations going?"

Gray stiffened. "On hold."

Natsu shot up in his seat, his eyes suddenly wide and alert. "What? What do you mean?"

Gray sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just can't right now… Not until we know if Lucy…" He let his words hang there and Natsu immediately deflated.

"Does Luce know that?"

Gray shook his head. "No. Juvia agreed not to tell her."

"You know…" Natsu sighed and stared at the speckled linoleum beneath his feet, unable to look at Gray. "I think that Luce would be really pissed about that. I think that you should plan it anyway… I think that…" He gulped, finding his next words incredibly difficult to say. "I think that you should hurry up the planning and have the wedding before the month is over."

His words hung there in the relative silence of the waiting room. Shoes clicked across the floor, nurses were paged over the intercom, and people talked in hushed voices. Yet, the silence felt deafeningly loud.

"She wouldn't want to miss it." Natsu whispered. His voice caught in his throat and he coughed to clear it, putting on a false act of bravado. "Plus, she's going to be fine!" His fake laugh made a few other people turn to look at him strangely and he immediately lowered his voice. "She's going to be fine…"

"Yea… She's going to be fine." Gray muttered, neither of them truly believing what they were saying.

When they were finally allowed to go to Lucy's room, Natsu breathed a heavy sigh of relief as soon as he saw her smiling face. She was siting up in bed with her hair tied back in a loose pony-tail. She looked normal except for the slightly pale tint to her skin.

"Hey, guys!" She waved at them, her smile infectious. He was by her side in an instant while Gray leaned up against the doorframe instead.

"How are you feeling?"

Lucy immediately waved off his question. "I'm fine. Anyway, I'm thinking that I should go visit Levy as soon as they let me out of here. She's due any day now and I promised that I'd visit."

Natsu and Gray eyed each other. "Don't you think that you should rest?" Natsu suggested as gently as possible. Lucy narrowed her eyes at him, shooting him a look that he recognized usually came before he was on the receiving end of a 'Lucy Kick'.

"No, Natsu. I don't think that I should rest. I've done enough resting." Lucy huffed and crossed her arms beneath her heaving chest. "I'm going to visit Levy whether you want me to or not…" Her face fell and she shifted nervously on the bed. "No one else knows that I'm sick yet… Just both of you and Juvia. I… I have to keep acting like everything is the same. I won't let this ruin my life."

"Don't you think that you should tell Levy at least?" Gray questioned as he walked towards the bed.

Lucy shook her head. "She is about to give birth to the twins… I can't make her worry about me right now. I'll tell her… Just, after she gives birth."

Natsu sucked in a deep breath and couldn't help but agree with her. Telling Levy what was going on would put too much unnecessary stress on her right now. She would be giving birth in a few more days… There was plenty of time for Lucy to tell her afterward.

"Well, then I guess I'm coming with you." Lucy's eyes widened at him, but she nodded and blushed a delicate pink color that made his blood boil excitedly. He gulped and looked away from her. No matter how often he saw her, she could still make his heart skip.

It took a few more hours beefier Lucy was released. After she was out, Gray dashed off to meet up with Juvia while Natsu and Lucy headed towards Gajeel's place. They walked in relative silence. He walked close to her, their shoulders bumping every-so-often. Winter was coming. It nipped at the air, making her shiver. Automatically, he slung an arm around her shoulders, providing her with his built-in, intense, body heat. She leaned into his warmth, resting her head gently against his muscled shoulder.

His heart clenched as he absorbed every little bit of what was happening. Lucy… His Lucy…

Fuck it, he loved her.

When they finally reached Gajeel's small, two bedroom, cottage Lucy darted inside. Unabashed glee lit up her face as she pushed passed a startled Gajeel. He quickly told her that Levy was in the bedroom and she disappeared upstairs so fast that Natsu couldn't help but laugh. Gajeel grunted and motioned for Natsu to follow him inside. They both plopped down on the couch with Gajeel's eyes constantly flickering towards the stairwell. As soon as a trickle of laughter greeted their ears, Gajeel's smiling face fell. He turned to look at Natsu and pinned him with a deadly stare.

"She's sick, isn't she?"

Natsu froze, but he wasn't all that surprised. Ever since she had started her treatment he had been able to smell the difference in her scent. It only made sense that Gajeel would too. "Yea, she is."

Gajeel's upper lip twitched as irritation and worry spread across his face. "How bad?"

"It's pretty bad." Natsu gulped and his whole body went lax. He couldn't meet Gajeel's gaze. He felt pathetic. There was nothing that he could do for Lucy. He couldn't make her better. All that he could do was be there for her. It fucking sucked. "I could lose her, Gajeel." His voice cracked and a moment later he felt a heavy hand placed reassuringly on his shoulder.

"You won't lose her."

Natsu felt tears prick his eyes as he looked back at Gajeel. "You don't know that… No one knows that…" With those words, Natsu felt himself deflate and fall into his insecurities and worst fears.

* * *

After a giant hug and a fitful of laughter after the twins promptly roundhouse kicked their mother, Lucy sat down on the bed with her friend. Levy rubbed at the spot the twins had kicked, wincing slightly as she tried to adjust her position. Lucy leaned forward and helped her to prop up some pillows against the headboard of the bed. Levy smiled graciously and leaned back against the soft support, pulling her legs up onto the bed with her. At the sight of her wincing friend, Lucy immediately grabbed one of her ankles and began to apply gentle pressure to the slightly swollen skin.

"You don't have to do that…" Levy blushed.

Lucy just shook her head, immediately shushing anything else that her friend had to say. "You deserve a little pampering." Her eyes roamed the room and she spotted a few bottles of various scented massage lotions on top of the dresser. A knowing smile lit up her face. "Even though I think that Gajeel is probably taking pretty good care of you himself." She winked at Levy who immediately flushed and looked to the side. Her small hands came up to nervously twist at a strand of her blue hair. Lucy could barely hold back her laughter.

"He's been extra attentive lately. I think he is worried about the birth." Levy's once gleeful face fell slightly and Lucy returned to her ministrations. Immediately, the tension lacing Levy's sweet face evaporated as a soft sigh escaped her lips.

"You have a good midwife. Everything will be fine." Lucy smiled reassuringly even though a thread of worry had begun to invade her heart. Giving birth was a dangerous thing. Even though with the advancement of magic and science it had become much safer, it could still be dangerous. She pushed her worry to the side and returned her full focus to her friend. Levy was watching her closely, her eyebrows furrowed in a look that Lucy recognized. It was like she was studying her.

"Are you okay, Lucy?" Concern etched her voice and Lucy squirmed. She grabbed Levy's other ankle and began to gently massage it, letting her blonde hair hide her face.

"Of course I am!" She forced cheerfulness into her voice. Levy's toes clenched and the muscles in her foot tightened for a brief moment before she relaxed again.

"Are you sure? You look a little worn down. Are things not going well with Natsu?"

Seeing her chance to hide her illness, Lucy grabbed it. "Things are… Well, they're weird."

Levy sighed and leaned her head back against the headboard, looking up at the ceiling. "It must be hard… To forgive him for leaving you like that again. He did a rotten thing. I don't think he realized how badly it would hurt you."

Lucy bit back a smile. "I don't think that he realized that either. But, he knew that he messed up."

Levy lifted her head and leveled her with a curious stare. "Do you wanna be with him, Lucy?"

Lucy blushed and refused to meet her gaze. "I don't know. I don't know if it's the right time." Thoughts of her illness swirled through her head. What Natsu had done, leaving like that, still hurt. She could feel the pain thumping in her chest like a second heartbeat. "Plus, he doesn't like me in that way anyways. He made that pretty clear when he ran off after kissing me 'just to see what it was like'."

Levy winced. "I know what he said… I just don't think that's how he really feels. I think that he really cares for you… I think that he loves you, Lucy."

Lucy's heart beat so loud that she could hear the dull thump of it in her ears. A sudden rush of blood to her head made her dizzy and she grabbed Levy's ankle a bit harder to ground herself. "No… No, I don't think that he does." A dangerous swirl of excitement tickled her tummy, warning her of the things that she really wanted. She wanted him to like her. She wanted him to feel the same way…

Still, would that be fair of her? She was probably going to die… It wouldn't be right to drag him in only to leave him like that… She had seen how badly her father had been hurt by her mother's death. He had never been the same. If she pushed him and he fell for her… Well, she just couldn't do that to him. She couldn't leave him like that.

It was better that they just remained friends.

After all, he only thought of her as a friend in the first place. She really, really didn't want to put her heart on the line only to have it ripped out in the end.

"It doesn't matter how I feel. It doesn't matter what I want…"

"Of course it matters! You deserve to be happy." Levy snapped. She leaned forward as much as she could and placed her hand on Lucy's shoulder. She squeezed softly before leaning back. "I know that you want a family too. I hate saying it, but if Natsu can't or won't give you what you want, you should move on. I know that might feel impossible right now… But, you deserve to have the family that you want." Levy rubbed her swollen stomach and smiled softly. "It feels like nothing you could ever imagine… The feeling of life growing in your tummy."

Tears stung Lucy's eyes. She tried to hide her pain, but Levy caught the look of devastation on her face, misinterpreting what she saw there. Lucy took comfort in the fact that Levy didn't really understand the pain that had engulfed her in that moment. She wasn't sad about Natsu, like Levy thought that she was. Instead, she was devastated by the knowledge that she would probably never even have the chance to have a family like that. One month was what Hikaru had said… She only had one month if the treatment didn't work. She wouldn't even have the chance to get over Natsu and to fall in love with someone new… She grimaced and quickly wiped away the lone tear that had fallen down her face. She reached forward and gently placed her hand on Levy's stomach. She could feel the twins tumbling inside.

"I can't wait for these babies to be born." He words came out soft and sincere. Levy placed a hand on top of hers and for a few everlasting moments they sat there, feeling the twins. It was a memory that became lodged in Lucy's mind, one that she knew she would forever cherish.

It was as soon as she withdrew her hand that it happened. Levy's face contorted slightly and her thin fingers dug slightly into her large tummy. It was over in a few seconds, but as soon as it was done she looked up at Lucy with wide eyes. Her breathing came in quick bursts as her hands dashed to her stomach.

"Lucy…" Her name came out soft, like a prayer.

Lucy bolted out of the bed so that she could be next to her friend's side. Worry etched her features as she watched a flurry of emotions flicker across Levy's innocent features. "What's wrong?"

Levy took a deep breath. "I think I'm in labor."

"Has your water broken yet?"

Levy shook her head. "No, but I've been having these pains about every ten minutes for the last hour and…" Levy sucked in a sharp breath and Lucy immediately snatched her hand. Levy squeezed her hand slightly as pain etched her face. As soon as the look of pain was gone, her face flushed with mild embarrassment as she sat up a bit straighter on the bed. There was a wet spot on the blankets from where she had been sitting before.

"Levy, your water broke…"

Levy's grip went lax as she stared at the wet spot. As soon as reality fully filtered through her brain, her mouth popped open and she yelled louder than Lucy had ever heard before. "Gajeel!"

Within seconds, Gajeel was up the stairs and tumbling through the door. Natsu followed shortly behind him, looking completely bewildered. Lucy quickly stepped out of the way as Gajeel scrambled to Levy's side and pulled her head against his chest, weaving his fingers through her blue hair.

"What is it, short-stack?"

Levy smiled softly and pressed a gently kiss to Gajeel's muscled stomach before pulling back away from him. "I'm in labor."

Gajeel's eyes went wide and that's when Lucy felt it… The whole world shifted. Levy and Gajeel… They were about to become a real family. She turned to look at Natsu. His eyes were wide as he stared at the couple before him, his mouth slightly agape. Lucy reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly. He turned to look at her and their eyes met. In that moment, she longed for everything that might have been. If she had never gotten sick, what might have happened between them?

Well, none of that mattered anymore.

She squeezed his hand a bit tighter and smiled before looking back at Levy and a frozen Gajeel. One thing was for certain though. If she was about to die, she was sure glad that she could share in this moment with her friends. She was glad that, in the very least, she could be there for Levy right now.

Both of their lives were forever about to change and Lucy was just glad that she could be a part of it.

Natsu shifted and leaned close to her ear. His breath was fiery hot against her skin, sending tingles of delight down her spine as he whispered to her. "One day, that could be you, don't ya think?"

Lucy tried not to read too much into his words. Still, she flushed. Heat rose from her toes to her face with astonishing speed as she turned beet red. She didn't have time to even think over the words that he said before pain filled Levy's face and a groan escaped her lips. Gajeel's panicked face filtered through her brain and she let go of Natsu's hand and stepped forward. She had to help them right now. First things first, they had to call the midwife.

It was time to get to work.

~ Author's Note ~

Hello, everyone! So, I have to apologize to all of you. I am sorry for the unusually long wait for an update. Quite unexpectedly, and completely out of the blue, my husband left me. I have been very sad lately and I didn't want to let my personal emotions ruin the direction that I was planning to take this story in. I will try to update more consistently. I don't want to let my own sadness interfere with the story though, so it may take a little bit before I am able to update as often as I once did.

So, what did you think of this chapter?

Please, let me know your thoughts! I love hearing from you. Readers like you are the reason why I keep writing.

~ FeudalAi


	10. Chapter 10

Why the fuck had he said that?

Natsu slid a hand through his salmon hair, growling slightly under his breath. Why in the world had he said that to Lucy? He hadn't meant to imply that he would be the one having kids with her… Well, maybe that was what he had wanted to imply. After all, that's what he wanted. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to wrap her in his strong arms and shove his face into her hair. He wanted to kiss her plump lips. He wanted to belong to her. He wanted to have kids with her…

His face blushed a vibrant shade of red and he peeked through his bangs to spy the person of his affection. Lucy was sitting in the armchair across the room. Worry and excitement laced her face as they listened to the painful noises from above. With his enhanced hearing, Natsu could hear every shift in the room above. He could hear Gajeel's anxious pacing and the muffled words that he said to Levy. He could hear Levy's heavy breathing and the encouragement and guidance provided by the midwife. He had offered to leave, but Levy had demanded that Lucy stay and if Lucy was staying, so was he. So they sat downstairs, waiting, for the twins to be born.

Lucy was chewing on her bottom lip. Her eyes were pinched closed. He couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind. Was she thinking about the idiotic words that he had said just like he was? Or, maybe, she was thinking about something much worse… He didn't want to think about the fact that she might not even be here in a month's time. He wanted to believe that having a family was going to be an option for her, with or without him.

He flinched.

Shit, the thought of her with someone else hurt.

Still, if she was alive, that was all that mattered. Even if she wasn't with him, he would be thankful each and every day that she was alive. He would eagerly exchange his life for hers. This world would be empty without her. He would only be a shell of his former self; a ghost. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to break down. He had nearly started crying like a child when Lucy had disappeared upstairs when they had first gotten there. The look that Gajeel had shot him…

Gajeel, well, he understood. Natsu could see it in the way that his posture changed when he told him how sick Lucy really was. He saw it in his eyes. Gajeel just… Understood. He understood the pain and fear that swirled within his heart. It had taken all of his strength not to break down. He had hardly slept the night before and he felt weak. He was sick of living in fear. But, he knew this nightmare had only just begun.

When he looked back at Lucy, there was a solitary tear running down her face.

In an instant, he was by her side and pulling her into his arms. She went stiff in his embrace before molding to him. Her arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. With a barely restrained sigh, he nuzzled his face into her neck. He could feel her hot tears splash against his skin. Gently, he rubbed her back.

"It's going to be okay, Luce. You're going to be okay." He tried to sound as confident as possible. His fingers tensed into the fabric of her shirt. He could feel her pulse at the base of her neck, strong and reassuring.

He couldn't live without her.

"Natsu…" She whispered his name. Her grip on him tightened before she let go and gently pushed him away. She plastered on a large, fake smile and wiped away her tears. "I'm just nervous for Levy is all."

Natsu eyed her, only half believing what she said. "You can be honest with me, Luce."

Her smile dipped and she collapsed back onto the armchair. Natsu hesitated before sitting back down on the couch, his eyes never leaving his blonde best friend. "I'm really happy for them." A true smile lit up her face and he nodded.

"I know you are, Luce."

She shook her head, her hair cascading around her. "I'm kind of jealous too. Does that make me a bad person?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper. Her words shook as her bottom lip quivered.

Natsu's hands clenched into fists. He hated the pain that laced her voice. "No, that doesn't make you a bad person, Luce." He took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. "You're going to be okay. I know it. You're going to be okay and you can have all of this too. You'll meet someone…" His fingers dug painfully into the palms of his hands as he spoke. "You'll fall in love, get married, and have your very own kids."

She lifted her head, her beautiful eyes shining with unshed tears, as she met his gaze. "You really think so?" The hope that laced her voice was like a knife.

He nodded, trying not to think about the mystery guy that she would end up with. "Yea, I do." They sat there in comfortable silence for a moment. Lucy's mouth opened as if she wanted to tell him something but just then, they heard it…

A newborn's cry.

Lucy's mouth snapped shut and her eyes opened wide. Natsu's heart came to a stop at the sudden noise before it began to hammer away. He could barely breathe. Gajeel was so damn lucky. They sat there in silence, both carefully listening to the nosies from upstairs, until they heard a second cry. A sigh of relief escaped Lucy's pink lips.

"The twins are here…" She whispered.

He could only nod in response.

They waited with bated breath until the midwife came down the stairs with a sweet smile upon her lips. "They'd like you to join them now." At her words, Natsu darted up from his seat. Automatically, he reached for Lucy's hand. Her fingers entwined with his and he squeezed as he led her towards the stairs. It wasn't until they walked into the room that he let go of her.

Wow.

Just, wow.

He had never seen two people more happy in his entire life. Levy's face was flushed and her hair was tied back in a messy pony-tail. Sweat laced her brow, but her smile was her defining feature. She was simply beaming. Gajeel had a look of astonishment on his face, as if he couldn't believe what had just happened. Each of them were holding a small bundle. Natsu felt his breath catch.

Lucy moved closer to her friend. She sat on the edge of the bed near Levy's knees. Levy leaned forward slightly so that Lucy could get a peak at the little one that she held. Natsu took a hesitant step forward until he could see the baby's face as well. Gajeel angled the baby that he held down a bit so that Lucy's roaming eyes could swallow up every little adorable feature. The child's arms waved in the air before its little hand clasped onto one of Gajeel's fingers, making him gasp.

"They're beautiful, Levy…" Lucy's words were breathless as she stared at the newborns. "They're perfect."

Levy nodded slightly and gently touched the bit of blue, fluffy hair on the baby that she held. "They are, aren't they?" Levy simply glowed. There were no other words to describe it.

Lucy nodded, her fingers digging into the blanket beneath her. "What are their names?"

Levy, never once taking her eyes off of the precious bundle that she held, smiled lovingly as she replied. "This is Ryu…" She whispered as she bent down to gently kiss his forehead.

"And this is Rin." Gajeel beamed as he smiled proudly down at the little girl that he held.

"The names just came to me, the moment that I saw them. It was just so clear. Rin and Ryu. Our babies…"

"Those names are perfect." Natsu whispered. His words were breathy and uncharacteristically soft. He was simply locked in a state of amazement. His eyes traveled to Lucy. With Levy's encouragement, she was now carefully cradling a slumbering Ryu within her arms. Her eyes were wide as she stared down at the baby. He had never seen anything so small or so precious before. The image of Lucy holding that baby though… It did things to him. When he managed to look away from the entrancing sight, Gajeel was staring at him knowingly.

Natsu wanted this.

He wanted to see Lucy holding a child of their own.

He wanted all of it.

His hands curled into fists as he tried to push his thoughts down. He tried not to think about Lucy dying. He tried not to think about the worst case scenario… Yet, those thoughts lingered in the back of his mind.

Gajeel took a few steps towards him so that he could see Rin better. The baby stared up at him with giant, inquisitive eyes. "Don't worry." Gajeel nearly whispered the words, making sure that the girls didn't hear. "She's going to be okay."

Natsu shook his head and reached out his finger to gently tickle Rin's little foot that had poked out of her blanket. The baby squirmed in delight. He didn't know how to say the feelings that were swirling within his heart. So, instead, he simply looked at Gajeel, the proud new papa.

Gajeel smirked.

He understood, just like Natsu thought that he would. Gajeel knew, in that moment, that Natsu would protect those little babies with everything that he had. They were the newest Fairy Tail members. They were family, even though they weren't related by blood.

* * *

Lucy was in a daze the entire walk back to her apartment. She had never seen anything so amazing in her entire life. The twins were precious. When she had held little Ryu… Well, nothing had ever felt quite like it. She was so happy for them. Even though fear lingered in her heart, she was glad that she could be there for the birth. At least, even if she died, Levy would always have that memory. If she hadn't been able to be there for the birth of her best friend's first borns… Well, she would have felt awful.

She entered her apartment and immediately sat down on her couch. Natsu followed shortly after her. He hadn't left her side since the hospital. She really wasn't sure how she felt about that. The words he had said after Levy's water broke still rattled around inside of her mind. She tried to ignore them… She tried to ignore the implication that she thought that she had heard in them… But, it was damn hard because she wanted that. She wanted to have his kids. She wanted that future with him.

Well, no one got everything that they wanted.

Natsu sat down beside her and, without even realizing what she was doing, she had leaned her head against his shoulder. He stiffened before his muscles went lax. He just sat there, letting her rest against him. The silence was pleasant and filled with unsaid words. She wasn't sure how long they sat there before he turned slightly and pressed a lingering kiss against her forehead. She closed her eyes and soaked in the moment, committing it to memory.

Would it be so wrong to kiss him again?

Would it be so wrong to tell him how she felt?

Yes, yes it would.

With a heavy sigh, she pulled away from him. She stretched and looked away from him. Day was fading into night and she suddenly felt exhausted. She hadn't slept well the night before at the hospital and exhaustion slammed into her. Without looking at him, she stood up and began to slowly make her way to her bedroom.

"I should probably get some sleep, I'm still pretty tired." She didn't wait for a response as she opened her bedroom door and quickly moved to her bed. She knew that he would follow her. Before he had even stepped into the room, she had crawled under the blankets.

She still couldn't look at him.

She closed her eyes when she felt him come closer. He reached forward and brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. He tucked it behind her ear and she shivered slightly at his touch.

"Are you feeling okay?"

Slowly, she opened her eyes only to find him kneeling down so that they were eye-to-eye. "Yea, I'm just tired."

He eyed her for a minute before nodding and promptly crawling over her and into the bed. He threw the covers over himself and quickly wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back against him.

"Natsu? What are you doing?"

His voice was muffled as he replied. She could feel his breath through her shirt. Only then did she realize that she hadn't even changed into her pajamas. "I'm going to sleep of course."

"Shouldn't you go home?"

He shook his head and hot tingles shot down her body. "Nope." His grip on her tightened slightly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Her heart rate skyrocketed as she tried to get her raging hormones back under control. They had slept in the same bed before, so why did this time feel so different? Why did the feel of his warm embrace make her whole body ache with an unquenchable need? With shaky fingers, she grabbed his hand and gently unraveled herself from him.

"I just need to change. I'll be right back." She turned to smile at him and at her look he relaxed. He closed his eyes and snuggled into her blankets as she stood up.

"Okay…" He muttered, his voice already heavy with sleep.

She watched him for a brief moment before moving towards her dresser and grabbing a pair of pajamas. She quickly moved to the bathroom to change. She threw on her red, silk shorts and matching blouse before heading back to her bedroom. For a moment, she thought about kicking him out. But, honestly, she wanted him there. For tonight, at least, she wanted to pretend that they were something more. She crawled into bed and immediately his arm snaked back around her and yanked her against him. She could feel his lips at the back of her neck.

In his safe embrace, she could finally relax.

She felt safer than she had in a very long time and she snuggled against the man that she loved as sleep overcame her. Within moments, she had fallen fast asleep locked within his warm embrace.

* * *

Natsu could hardly breathe. His lips gently brushed against the skin at the base of her neck. Why did she have to change into something so small? The red silk hugged her curves and left little to the imagination. Sure, Lucy wore a lot of skimpy outfits… But, when she was snuggled up against him in bed like this, it was different. In bed like this… He shifted and groaned as she moved against him. He could feel every inch of her. His arm tightened around her as he listened to her slow and steady breathing. When he was absolutely positive that she was asleep, he pressed his lips against her skin. He dotted kisses against the back of her neck, loving the way that goosebumps formed beneath his lips. She sighed and the noise made all of his senses go on high alert.

Fuck, she was perfect.

"Natsu…" She mumbled.

He froze, thinking that she had awoken, until the sound of her steady breathing reached his ears. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he pressed a slightly harder kiss against the back of her neck. She was dreaming about him…

His fingers gently dug into the silk of her shirt. He wanted to be even closer to her. He wanted to know what she was dreaming about. He wanted to really kiss her…

It was becoming harder and harder to resist her. It was becoming more difficult with each passing hour not to tell her how he felt. He knew that they could be nothing more than friends… Yet, his heart still wanted her. He couldn't help it. He nuzzled his head into her back, loving how soft her skin was.

Then, without warning, she flipped around so that they were face-to-face. Her lips were barely more than an inch from his and his breath caught in his throat. Her hand came up and tangled into his scarf, holding him close. Slowly, her forehead pressed against his and her squirming stopped.

Natsu groaned.

She had no idea what she did to him. It took all of his will to gently pull away from her. Her hand tightened its hold on his scarf and he basically glowed as a small whine escaped her perfect lips.

"Okay, Luce…" He whispered. He kept his hold tight around her, but made sure that there were a few inches between their lips. "I won't move." She smiled softly in her sleep and he beamed. He was awake long into the night simply watching her and relishing in the way that she whispered his name on and off throughout the night. He didn't manage to fall asleep until dawn declared itself outside of her window.

* * *

When Lucy woke up she carefully maneuvered out of Natsu's grasp. She blushed as she looked down at his sleeping form. His hair was ruffled and his lips were parted. His limbs were spread across the bed as he grumbled at the sudden loss of her body heat. She couldn't help but smile at him.

He was her home.

It took her a long moment before she was able to draw her eyes away from him. With a resigned sigh, she exited her bedroom and walked over to her desk. Her journal sat there, untouched, and a sudden wave of guilt invaded her system. She sat down and flipped the journal open. She re-read what she had written before she picked up her pencil and continued to write. It was cathartic to finally spend time exploring her made-up world again.

 _Everything had frozen._

 _Blaise had gone completely stiff as he stared at the man before him._

 _Stella could hardly comprehend what was going on._

 _This was Colby. The brother that Blaise had run after, chasing a rumor. This was the brother that he had searched so desperately for. Now, he stood before them as if this was an everyday thing. His firm grimace slowly shifted into an uneasy smile as he leaned back and ran his hand through his hair._

 _"_ _Well, ya could say something."_

 _Blaise bolted up from his seat. He wavered on his feet, unsteady, as he stared at the mirage before them. Stella wanted to reach forward and grab his hand. She wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. But, it wasn't the time or place for that._

 _She couldn't interfere right now._

 _"_ _Colby?" Blaise muttered._

 _Colby nodded. "You've grown." He smirked. Without even being able to see Blaise's face, Stella knew that anger was about to overcome him. His hands had tightened into tight fists._

 _"_ _Where have you been?!" Blaise snapped._

 _Colby's eyes widened slightly before his face hardened. "Around."_

 _Blaise burst forward and grabbed Colby's shirt, lifting his brother up slightly. Everyone in the ice cream shop turned to look at the sudden commotion. Colby didn't even look surprised at the sudden outburst._

 _"_ _How could you?!" He nearly yelled. "How could you do this to me? How could you do this to Dad?" Desperation leaked into his voice as he pushed his brother away from him. Colby took a minute to straighten his shirt before he replied, his expression steely._

 _"_ _That's none of your business."_

 _"_ _Of course it's my business!"_

 _Stella stood up and gently took hold of one of Blaise's clenched fists. She couldn't let him punch his brother. He would regret it, and she knew it. He looked down at her before his expression softened._

 _His jaw was still clenched when he spoke again. "Why did you come back? Why now? I went looking for you, but you never showed up back then… So, why now?"_

 _Colby glanced around at all of the prying eyes and took a step closer to them. His cold expression shifted as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a picture. He clenched it tightly in his hand as he spoke. "Because… Because things changed." With a heavy sigh, he shoved the picture towards them. Blaise took it and immediately held it out for them to see._

 _It was an image of a baby._

 _"_ _Her name is Lily, after Mom…" Colby began, his voice hesitant and loving._

 _Stella looked up at Blaise as recognition began to filter over his features. She watched as his eyes clashed with his brother's and a silent war ensued._

 _Colby shrugged as a soft smile spread across his face. "Blaise, I'm a dad."_

 _She watched as Blaise's whole world shifted. She watched as he crumbled. His whole body deflated. She held onto him a bit tighter and leaned slightly against his arm. He turned to look at her for one long, lingering moment before he looked back at his brother and, with his free fist, punched him square in the face._

Lucy smiled down at her writing and closed the journal just as she heard the bedroom door open. She turned to spy a sleepy Natsu leaning up against the doorframe. "Want some breakfast?" Just as he nodded his stomach growled loudly in agreement. She couldn't help but laugh. "I'll take that as a yes." She stood up from her desk and walked over to ruffle his hair, much to his dislike, before she darted off towards the kitchen with laughter falling from her lips.

* * *

The next few days went by in a flash. Before she could even wrap her mind around it, she was back at the hospital for her next infusion. Once again, Natsu stayed by her side. He sat there in silence, neither of them speaking as the poisonous medicine dripped into her veins. He had barely left her side. After that night that he had spent with her, she had forced herself to kick him out. That was the only time that she ever had alone anymore. At night, she would let herself fall into her fears. She could feel her body becoming weaker and weaker. She had watched as the ugly black color crawled up her fingers, spreading up to her wrist and inching its way up her arm.

Thankfully, at least, that had never happened when Natsu had been around.

She saw the way that he watched her. She could see the fear that lingered in his eyes. He wouldn't say it out loud, but she knew that he was scared. It hurt to look at him. It hurt to see everything that could have been. Still, his presence brought her comfort. She felt safe when he was near, even if she was puking and shivering as an aftereffect of the medication.

Once again, after she was wheeled into her hospital room, she was barely aware of what was going on around her for the next several hours. She was lost in a daze. Sickness pervaded her body, making her limbs feel impossibly heavy. When she was finally able to open her eyes again he was still there, beside her, dabbing her sweat off of her forehead. She smiled up at him and he gently pushed her hair out of her face before leaning back in his chair.

"How are ya feeling?"

She raised her eyebrows at him and he laughed. She couldn't help but smile at the sound.

"Okay, okay…" He mumbled before he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. "It's pretty obvious that you feel like shit."

"Obviously." She managed to wink at him and he smiled again. Every part of her body ached, but the sight of him… Well, it gave her energy. She took a deep breath as a wave of sickness washed over her. It took a few minutes before the sensation passed. When she opened her eyes again he was watching her with a frown lacing his face. "I think…" She stammered. She gulped before she continued. "I think that it's time to tell the guild. Tomorrow, after I'm released."

He nodded. "Yea…"

Lucy pinched her eyes shut for a long moment before she was brave enough to open them again. "I also think that it's time to tell my spirits… I've been avoiding calling them. I didn't want to tell them… I…" Fear leaked into her voice. "I don't know what will happen to them if I…" She couldn't finish her sentence.

Natsu bolted upright and stared her down, defiant. "Don't say that, Luce. Don't even hint at that. You're going to be fine. Ya hear me?" When she managed to nod at him, he sat back down, anger still lacing his features. "You're going to be fine…" He muttered the words beneath his breath, more to himself than to her. It took most of her strength, but she managed to reach over and place her hand upon his knee. He looked up at her and she smiled as reassuringly as she could at him.

"Thank you, Natsu."

His face shifted in surprise. "For what?"

"For being here with me… For helping me through this…"

His face flushed and he looked away from her. "Of course I'm here for ya, Luce. We're best friends."

Her grip tightened slightly on his knee before she withdrew her hand, his words stinging her as she couldn't help but wish that they were more. "We're best friends." She smiled as brightly as she could and he looked back at her, their eyes colliding. "Forever…" She whispered.

His reply was just as soft. "Forever."

So much remained unsaid between them. There was so much that she wanted to say, but it wasn't time. If she really was going to die… Then, well, she would tell him how she felt before she took her last breath. She knew that wasn't fair of her, but she didn't want to take her secret to the grave. She wanted him to know that he was truly loved. She sucked in her bottom lip and chewed on it slightly before she worked up the nerve to speak again.

"Natsu, I need you to promise me something."

He leaned forward and grabbed her hand with both of his. "Anything." He sounded almost desperate.

"If I'm about to die…" He began to interrupt her but she shook her head, stopping him. "Listen to me, please." His opened mouth slammed shut and she placed her free hand on top of his, squeezing his hands lightly. "If I'm about to die, then I need you to do me a favor." She took a deep breath and met his steady gaze. He looked nervous, but she carried on anyways. This was important. She waited for him to nod before she continued. "I need you to bring me to the park."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "The park?"

She nodded. "Yea, you know the one with the rainbow sakura trees that the guild goes to during the Blossom-Viewing Festival?"

He nodded. "I brought you one of those trees once…"

Lucy laughed at the memory. "I still can't believe you did that."

He smirked. "Well, you were sick and you really wanted to see it so…"

She shook her head at him and squeezed his hands. Her smile bright. "So you just had to yank it up and bring it down the river." Her laugh echoed in the small, sterile room. "At least you were able to replant it."

He squeezed her hand lightly. "It was worth it."

Their eyes met and Lucy's smile dipped as an air of seriousness fell over them again. "I want you to take me there… If things go bad, I need to tell you something."

"What is it? You can tell me now."

She shook her head and looked down at their entwined hands. "No… I can't… I can't tell you now. Just, promise me, if everything goes bad that you'll take me there and listen to what I have to say." She took a deep breath and looked back up at him. He was watching her every move, taking in every expression that darted across her face. They sat there in silence for a long time before he replied.

"Okay, Luce. I promise."

Relief flooded her veins and she gently withdrew her hands from his. With a heavy sigh she closed her eyes as exhaustion seeped into her. She was so damn tired. "Thank you…" She managed to mumble before she faded back into sleep once more.

Tomorrow, everything would change. She would tell the guild. She would tell her friends. She would tell the exuberant Levy… After they knew, well, nothing would ever be the same again. She knew how they would react. They would all want to save her, but there was nothing that they could do. She loved them all. She loved her makeshift family so damn much.

One thing was for sure though, she didn't want to leave them. Any of them.

Natsu's smiling face floated into her mind and she smiled. Would he be okay after she was gone? Would he find someone to love? Would he have a family of his own?

She wanted him to be happy but, damn, did it hurt to think about him with someone else.

Still, if everything did go bad, she would make him promise her that he would be happy. She didn't want him to wallow in misery for the rest of his life. Even if he wasn't with her, she wanted him to be happy.

Natsu… Well, he deserved happiness. He deserved love. He deserved to be treated as the treasure that she knew he was. He deserved everything in this world and more…

He deserved the future that she couldn't give him.

~ Author's Note ~

Hello, everyone! So, I surprised myself and got this chapter out way sooner than I had expected! So many of you sent your support… Thank you so much! All of your encouragement helped me to write. I will probably be doing a chapter a week for a while, that's my goal for now.

So, what did you think of this chapter?

Once again, thank you so much for all of the reviews on the last chapter! Can you believe we are on chapter 10 already?

Baby Name Meanings:

Rin - Companion

Ryu - Dragon

~ FeudalAi


	11. Chapter 11

"No!" Natsu's scream bounced off of the broken stone walls around him. He clutched the slender body close to his chest as tears poured from his eyes. Rage filled his heart. Utter and unadulterated rage.

Lucy…

"Luce! Why aren't you moving?" Panic and fear laced his words. "Luce!"

Lucy… Oh, hell no.

"Luce!"

This couldn't be real.

Blood stained her eyes. Her body was limp within his hold. His mind went blank as an indescribable pain ripped through his chest.

He would fucking kill who did this to her.

"I won't stop!"

Alvarez… He would destroy them all!

* * *

Natsu bolted upright in his bed. Sweat dripped from every inch of his body as he took deep, unsteady breaths. Panic engulfed his mind and heart as the nightmare-laced-memory began to replay within his mind. He pinched his eyes shut and dug his fingers into his blankets, desperately trying to remind himself that Lucy hadn't actually died that day.

Still… The memory of it… He had been so sure that she had died. He had become animalistic, completely besot by his anger. He groaned and ran a hand down his face. Great… Now he would have to go bathe before he could pick Lucy up from the hospital. There was no way that he could go great her when he was a sweaty, stinky mess.

His heart hammered within his chest as he stood up and stretched. The sun's rays were only just beginning to stretch over the horizon. He hated that nightmare. It had plagued him ever since that day… Ever since the end of the war… After that dream, he could never seem to fully relax until she was back within his sight and he could be absolutely certain that it had all only been a figment of his imagination.

Seeing Lucy like that… So lifeless… It had left a permanent scar on his heart.

He shook his head and tried to erase the images that clung to his mind. This time, the fear in his heart didn't want to abate. After all, Lucy was laying in a hospital bed right now fighting for her life. There was a very real chance that he could lose her.

No… No, he wouldn't let that happen again.

With a frustrated growl he grabbed his bathing supplies and stepped out into the cold morning air to head towards the public bath. He relished the feeling of the wind on his face as he tried to clear his mind of the memories that tormented him… By the time that he made it to the bathhouse all that he could see were Lucy's bloodied eyes. The image infuriated him. He glanced around the bathhouse lobby and was thankful to see that there wasn't anyone else there besides the receptionist. He quickly stepped forward and payed before darting into the men's room and striping himself of the little bit of clothes that he had on. He stretched, his bones popping as he twisted and turned, waking up his body. He glanced at himself briefly in the mirror, his eyes lingering on his scars, before he huffed and slid open the door to the men's hot spring. He slipped into the steamy water and a sigh escaped his lips. He sunk in until he was only visible from the nose up. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on Lucy's smile. Slowly, he felt his tense muscles relax. He could see her… Her beautiful face, her plump lips… A smile ghosted across his face at the memory of their lips touching.

Fuck… He wanted to do that again.

His hands gripped his bare knees as he relived the memory of kissing her. Immediately, he felt fire ignite his body as he breathed a trail of smoke. He leaned his head back, letting his mouth escape from the boiling water, to puff the dark smoke out into the early morning light. His body tingled at the mere thought of her lips upon his own. His lips twisted up into a smirk as he replayed that moment over and over again within his mind.

"Seriously?" A deep, masculine voice broke Natsu from his reverie. Natsu bolted up, only just noticing that the water around him was boiling. He shrugged and lowered the temperature as Laxus barely contained his growl. As soon as the water stopped bubbling, Laxus stepped into the hot spring and sunk into the warm water. They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while before the lightening dragon-slayer spoke. His voice was hesitant and soft, very unlike the Laxus that Natsu knew. "How sick is she?"

Natsu flinched and looked away from him. "You could tell?"

Laxus huffed. "Of course I could. Dragon-slayer senses, remember?"

Natsu rolled his eyes and looked at Laxus. "She's really, really sick." Natsu paused for a moment before he gathered the courage to continue. "She could die."

Laxus's eyes widened slightly as he failed to hide his surprise. "Then, what are you waiting for?" His question confused Natsu. He quirked his head and waited for the blonde mage to elaborate. Laxus huffed and looked to the side, crossing his arms over his giant chest. "Just tell her you like her already."

Natsu's jaw literally dropped. "What?" He sputtered.

Laxus blushed ever-so-slightly and his voice became gruff. "You know what I mean. Your girl is dying, it's time to fess up."

Natsu froze as his words washed over him. He was having a really hard time comprehending that Laxus was the one saying these things to him. It seemed odd, especially since they hardly talked in the first place. But, his words resonated within him. Natsu gulped and looked away. He couldn't handle thinking about this right now. He didn't want to think about Lucy dying. In fact, he refused to think about it.

He stood up and walked out of the hot spring. Steam seeped from his body into the cool morning air. He glanced back at Laxus one more time before he escaped into the changing room. With a knowing look, he leveled Laxus with two simple words. "Could you?" He watched as the lightening mage stiffened.

Natsu huffed. That's what he thought.

Natsu wasn't an idiot, he could see when two people liked each other. On top of that, his enhanced senses made him aware of a lot of things that were happening between his guild-mates. He knew that Laxus had a bit of a thing for Mira. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at how uncomfortable he had just made Laxus before he quickly moved into the changing room. His mind flashed back to Lucy and he couldn't help but smile until he thought about her alone in that sterile hospital room. He grimaced.

"Luce… I'm coming for ya."

* * *

Lucy laid, wide awake, in her hospital room. The only noise came from the beeping of the heart monitor that she was strapped to and the soft sound of shuffling feet that came from the hallway. She was propped up into a sitting position and her hands were clasped tightly in her lap. She couldn't help but feel nervous. The very thought of telling everyone else at the guild terrified her. She wasn't entirely sure how they would react. Would they act differently around her afterward? She bit her lip as she imagined and re-imagined telling them.

Today was going to suck.

Her door creaked opened and she turned, a large smile on her face, expecting to see Natsu. Instead, Gray stood in the open doorway. "Gray?"

He smiled slightly, but it looked forced. "Hey, Lucy."

"Is everything okay?" She couldn't help the worry that seeped into her voice. He looked so nervous that she couldn't help but think that something was wrong.

He nodded and moved to sit in the chair beside her. Somehow, in the process, he managed to lose his shirt. Lucy couldn't help but grin at him as he fidgeted. "Yea, everything is okay. How are you feeling?" He looked up at her, his eyes deep and sincere.

Lucy shrugged and allowed herself to be more honest with him than she would have been with Natsu. It was easy to be around Gray. It was simple and uncomplicated by confusing emotions. She could just talk to him without worrying about the consequences. After all, besides Hikaru, he was the only one that knew the full truth about what was happening to her and why. "Not the best." She groaned and stretched her arms. "My muscles are sore and I was throwing up for hours after the treatment… I feel like a boulder fell on top of me." She tucked her hair behind her ear before looking at him again.

"I'm really sorry, Lucy." Guilt laced his face.

She frowned and pinned him with a menacing stare. "Seriously, stop that. This is not your fault. None of this is your fault. Please, don't blame yourself. I couldn't bear it if you did that."

Gray fidgeted. "Lucy…"

"Just, stop it." Anger seeped into her voice and she crossed her arms beneath her chest. "You're my friend. So, just, stop it."

Gray huffed and rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Lucy watched him for a moment before relaxing her stiff posture. She didn't actually believe him. She could tell, from the way that he was watching her, that he was still blaming himself for not being able to heal her. She didn't know how, but she would have to find a way to get him to forgive himself before she…

Before she…

She took a deep breath to try to stop her fear from bubbling up.

She would have to find a way to get him to forgive himself before she died.

For some reason, as soon as she was able to mentally admit that to herself, she could feel her entire body relax. It was like a wave of acceptance had washed over her. She leaned back into the pillows that were supporting her, enjoying the way that she suddenly felt light and airy, as if nothing could touch her.

Is this what acceptance of one's own death felt like?

It was like she could suddenly breathe again. She almost felt giddy.

"So, why'd you come by?"

A soft smile lit up Gray's solemn face. "Juvia and I scheduled our wedding."

Lucy almost burst with excitement. "When is it?"

At this, Gray momentarily froze before he managed to re-form his smile. "It's in two weeks."

"Two weeks?!" Lucy's mind boggled at the sheer amount of work that would have to somehow be accomplished within two weeks. That was nearly an impossible amount of time to plan a wedding. Juvia had been dreaming of her wedding to Gray ever since she had met him. Would they really be able to plan something that they both deserved so quickly?

Gray simply nodded. "Yea. Juvia is really excited and we really don't want to wait."

"But, how would you even get all the planning done in time?"

He shrugged. "We'll manage. Juvia enlisted Erza's help and those two are terrifying when they put their minds to something."

Lucy laughed slightly as she imagined the two women storming full-steam ahead, stampeding over all obstacles in their way. But, as she laughed, she noticed the way that he was watching her. He seemed apprehensive about something. His knee bounced in a stereotypical sign of nervousness. It was in that moment that Lucy caught on to why the wedding would be so soon. Her heart grew heavy as she watched him. They were having the wedding so quickly so that she could be there…

She gulped, her mouth suddenly unbearably dry. "Thank you, Gray."

His eyes widened slightly and he leaned back in his chair. "For what?"

She smiled softly and let her arms fall back down onto the stiff hospital bed. A wave of peace overcame her as she looked at him. Her friends really did love her… She was so damn lucky to have them. "For having it soon enough for me to be there. That means a lot… It really does."

Gray leaned forward, his posture slightly slouched. A look of seriousness overcame his face as he reached forward and lightly grasped one of her hands. "We couldn't have it without you." He took a deep breath before raising his eyes to meet hers. In that moment, she could see all of his hidden fears and anxieties. Gray… He had always been more stoic than the rest of their group. He had always been guarded. But, after the events with Tartaros and Alvarez he had slowly opened up more and more. Slowly, he had learned to smile and be truly happy. She had been lucky enough to watch all of that happen. She tried to fight off the wave of sorrow that slammed into her at the thought of never getting to see any of her friends again. The idea of dying hurt more when she thought about them. Her lower lip trembled as she tried to fight off her wave of emotions. She pinched her eyes shut and desperately clung to that thread of peacefulness and acceptance that she had only felt moments before.

"Gray?' Natsu's voice snapped them out of the moment. Lucy's eyes darted to his. He smiled briefly at her before his gaze flicked down to her hand that was still firmly clasped by Gray. Gray yanked his hands away as he quickly stood up and motioned for Natsu to take his chair. Natsu quickly obliged, sliding into the chair and grabbing the hand that Gray had just let go of. Lucy's fingers automatically entwined with his. His grip was almost painful. His eyes bore into hers, making her breath catch in her throat. After a long moment, he released a deep breath and his tense posture relaxed. It was only then that he turned to look at Gray. "What are you doing here?"

"Just letting Lucy know about the date for the wedding. It's in two weeks."

Natsu's smile grew and his thumb subconsciously drew patterns against the back of her hand. Heat flooded Lucy's veins at the simple touch. "That's great!" Only a trickle of excitement filled his voice, but Lucy didn't blame him. She could tell, just from the way that he was holding her hand, that he had a bad night.

Gray backed towards the door, clearly eager to escape her confining hospital room. "I'll see you guys at the guild."

They said a quick goodbye and soon it was only her and Natsu in the sterile room. His thumb was still tracing tantalizing patterns upon her skin, making her forget about the heaviness in her limbs. There were slight bags under his eyes and his entire demeanor looked defeated. She frowned. That was not a look that she liked on him. She leaned forward and placed her free hand on his right cheek. Slowly, her fingers gently traced his jawbone before moving upwards and carefully prodding the dark bags that hung beneath his eyes. His eyes closed and he leaned into her touch, which only made her frown deepen.

"Are you okay?" She nearly whispered the words.

His forehead furrowed, but he didn't open his eyes. "Yea, 'course I am." Her hand moved to gently run through his hair and her fingers brushed the edge of his ear. He popped one eye open as he leaned in even more to her touch. "You okay, Luce?"

She smiled softly, refusing to let him see the pain that she was in. She removed her hand and she didn't miss the slight frown that flashed across his face at the loss of her touch. "I'm just nervous to tell the guild. I don't want them to treat me any differently."

Natsu let go of her hand and leaned back in his chair. "Don't worry about it, Luce. I know that you're nervous about telling them, but I really think that everything is going to be okay. It's not like you're gonna die anyways." He laughed nervously. The sound was harsh against her ears and clearly betrayed his own fear. She simply leaned forward and ruffled his hair as she tried to push away the swirl of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. She didn't want to hear the fear in his laugh. She didn't want to see the worry that laced his face.

It hurt, more than anything, to think about not being by his side anymore.

The door squeaked and she looked up to see Hikaru. He smiled at them and walked over to her free side. "Well, should we get you out of here?"

With a grateful smile, Lucy nodded and they began the process of discharging her.

* * *

Telling the guild did not go great. At first, it was completely silent. Then, the whole place seemed to erupt. Natsu had stood beside her as they rushed her. Armed with questions, they rattled her resolve. Question by question, she felt herself weaken. In between the questions, quiet would fall over the usually boisterous crowd. Each time that it happened it felt like a knife digging into her gut. She watched as they, one by one, turned sad eyes onto her.

They were looking at her differently, just like she had feared.

A few were trying to be normal. Erza, while at first had rushed her and crushed her to her metal-clad chest, had then promptly returned to humming and eating a piece of strawberry cake. Still, Lucy didn't miss the way that Erza's eyes followed her as she dealt with the other guild members. She knew that Erza was just waiting for her chance, away from prying eyes, to ask her own questions. Wendy, on the other hand, had barely moved. She stood, frozen, across the guildhall, just watching her. Her eyes were wide. Lucy watched as her little hands clenched at her sides. Guilt flooded Wendy's young face and Lucy knew that she would have to have a private talk with her. Wendy would want to heal her… But, Lucy knew that it wouldn't work. She would let her try, but she didn't want Wendy to feel guilty about not being able to fix what was wrong. The magic that had invaded her body was too powerful.

Gray and Juvia had simply stood at a comfortable distance as they shot comforting looks her way. After a few minutes, Lucy noticed that Gray had maneuvered his way over to Wendy. He had slung his arm around her shoulders and they were now, hunched together, talking.

There were only two noticeable absences from the guildhall, meaning that she would have to make a separate trip to see them today. Levy and Gajeel were still huddled up at his house with their newborn twins. Lucy cringed at the thought of telling Levy. She didn't want to burst the happy bubble that Levy currently resided within. But, she knew that now, since she had told the guild, she really had to tell her best friend.

It felt like forever before the questions stopped and everyone allowed her a moment of rest. Natsu had placed his hand gently on the small of her back as he guided her over to where Erza was sitting. After helping her to sit down he quickly sat beside her. Lucy felt exhausted. Her lack of sleep from the night before was quickly catching up to her. Her legs felt like rubber. She wasn't even sure if she could stand up on her own anymore.

Erza eyed her over the last heaping spoonful of her second slice of strawberry cake. "How are you really feeling?"

Lucy gulped and cowered beneath her gaze. Her eyes flashed down to the scratched wooden table and she instantly wished that she had something to drink to distract herself with. "I'm doing the best that I can."

Erza swallowed the giant lump of cake before she dropped her fork and let it clatter back onto the plate below. She pinned Lucy with a stare before she spoke again. "Why didn't you tell us sooner, Lucy? Aren't we your friends." Vulnerability flashed across her face and Lucy suddenly felt ashamed. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Gray help guide Wendy onto the bench beside Natsu before he took a seat next to Erza. He glanced between the two women, worry lacing his features.

Lucy sighed before she forced herself to meet Erza's questioning eyes. "I wanted to tell you guys… I was just nervous. I kept hoping that I would get better and we could just laugh about it, but…" She sighed again and motioned towards her pale body. She felt completely exhausted and she knew that she looked worn out. "I'm not getting better and I… I probably don't have long left." Everyone around their small table sucked in a deep breath. It didn't matter that she had already said that very same thing hardly even a half-hour prior. Those words were still enough to shake them. "I'm sorry that I waited so long to tell all of you and I'm sorry that I made Natsu, Gray, and Juvia keep it a secret… I just wasn't ready for all of the questions." A shaky laugh escaped her lips before silence fell over their table. It wasn't until several tense moments later that Erza reached across the table and grabbed Lucy's hands.

"We love you, Lucy. We are all here for you." She let go before a determined smile covered her face. "We'll beat this, together!" Her cheerfulness hurt Lucy like a physical thing. Still, Lucy forced on a smile and politely thanked her before Erza darted back over to the bar, presumably to order more cake. As soon as she left, Lucy felt a presence to her right. She turned to spy Wendy.

"I'm okay, Wendy. Really…"

Wendy shook her head and sucked in her bottom lip before she began to vigorously chew it. "But…"

Lucy reached forward and pulled the small girl into her arms. Wendy went stiff for a moment before she tentatively wrapped her arms around Lucy and dug her face into her shoulder.

"Please, let me try…" Wendy whispered, her voice shaking slightly. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't even try."

Resigned, Lucy nodded as she let Wendy go. A relieved smile lit up Wendy's face. It was only then that Lucy noticed the notable absent of Happy and Carla. She glanced around the guild before spotting them across the hall. Carla was holding onto a sobbing Happy. He kept trying to fly over to her, but Carla held him back. Lucy nodded in thanks to the white exceed before she returned her attention to the people around the table. Everyone at the guild was acting weird. She could feel their eyes on her. She knew that they were watching her every move, looking for a sign of her sickness. Swiftly, she slipped her hands beneath the table. She couldn't help but fear the inky black coloring that would occasionally appear. Her scared eyes flashed to Gray, who managed to nod slightly in encouragement. His gaze flashed towards where her hands hid and she could see that he understood. Gray was here… So, even if the black came back, he would be able to take away the mind-boggling pain that accompanied it. She felt Wendy gently tugging on her arm and she sighed.

"Now?"

Wendy quirked her head, her face lit with a hopeful smile. "The sooner the better."

Lucy glanced around the guild once more, debating on moving somewhere more private, before she felt the gentle wave of Wendy's healing powers begin to seep into her body. She let herself lean back against Natsu. His warmth was comforting and she couldn't help but to rest her head on his shoulder as Wendy worked. She could feel herself getting stronger as her exhaustion left her. She felt rejuvenated as a burst of energy entered her. As soon as she felt Wendy stop, she lifted up her head and immediately hugged the girl. She was only faintly aware of the fact that, at some point, Natsu had wrapped an arm around her waist and had yet to let go.

"That made me feel so much better! Thank you, Wendy." As soon as she let her go, she noticed the fallen look on Wendy's face. Lucy's grin dipped. She watched as Wendy lifted her hands and looked at them. Her small hands shook slightly and Lucy immediately reached out to steady them. "Wendy… I'm okay. Don't worry about it, alright?"

Wendy simply nodded. Her face was completely emotionless. It was only then that Carla flew over and landed on Wendy's shoulder. She whispered something into the young mage's ear before they said their goodbyes and she gently pulled Wendy away. Within seconds, Happy had slammed into Lucy's chest, his face still streaming with tears. Lucy smiled softly and wrapped her arms around the fluff-ball. His face was stuffed between her breasts and his small paws gripped into the fabric of her shirt as he cried. She glanced up at Natsu and he simply reached forward to gently rub between Happy's ears.

Sorrow and fear began to fill her heart, upsetting the sense of acceptance that she had once felt. With a grimace, she leaned her head against Natsu's shoulder again. "We need to go to Gajeel and Levy's place next." She muttered. She felt him nod before he rested his head on top of her own. She knew that people were staring, and not just because she was sick. But, she didn't care. She didn't care if they stared. She didn't care what they thought. Right now, all she cared about was comforting the blue exceed that was staining her shirt with his tears.

* * *

Lucy hated this.

She sat on the couch in the living room of Gajeel and Levy's place. She felt frozen by Levy's big eyes and the happiness that still lingered on her naive face. She was holding a slumbering Rin in her arms while Lucy held Ryu. His big eyes were looking up at her full of innocent curiosity. She held the baby tenderly in her arms. He was just so small… The twins were the most precious things that she had ever seen. She gently touched the fluffy hair on top of Ryu's head. It was so unbelievably soft…

Natsu had taken Gajeel outside and while Levy had watched them go with a questioning look, she didn't fight it. Now, they sat in the silence of the living room with just the babies to keep them company. Lucy took a deep breath and tore her eyes away from the adorable bundle in her arms.

She hated to do this to Levy, but she had to.

"Levy, I came by today because I have to tell you something…"

Levy looked up at her and worry flashed across her face. "What is it? You can tell me anything, you know that…"

Lucy took a deep breath before she managed to work out a soft reply. "I'm sick."

"You're what?" Levy's voice came out in a sharp burst, immediately waking the sleeping baby in her arms. Her lip began to tremble as she diverted her attention to the crying bundle. After gently bouncing Rin for a few minutes the child's whining only grew louder. With a soft sigh, Levy pulled her loose shirt down to uncover one of her breasts. The baby nuzzled against it before its small lips managed to grasp onto her nipple. Rin looked back up at her, her eyes full of questions. "You're sick?"

Lucy nodded. "I'm really sick…" She watched as Levy's face fell. Her eyes glazed over as she attempted to hold back tears. Lucy's own tears stung her eyes as she forced herself, word by word, to tell Levy the whole and unadulterated truth. By the time she was finished Levy sat, aghast, across from her. Now, only Gray, Levy, and Hikaru knew the entire truth about the illness that plagued her. By then, Rin had stopped feeding and was now being burped. After the oddly delightful sound of Rin's small burp, Levy turned her full attention back to Lucy.

"You can't." Those were the only two words that she managed to say. She repeated them, over and over, until Ryu began to whine and they switched babies. With a sigh, Levy uncovered her other breast for Ryu to feed while Lucy gently cradled a sleeping Rin. "You can't die." A determined look overcame her features as she narrowed her eyes slightly in a look that Lucy recognized. That was the same look that Levy always had before she would dive into a pile of books and not come out for several days.

Lucy gently shook her head. "You don't have time…" The words were only slightly louder than a whisper.

"I don't care!" Levy snapped. Her tears were falling now as she shook her head vigorously from side-to-side, detaching Ryu from her nipple as a result. Immediately, Ryu's loud cry shook the room until Levy guided him back towards his food source. As soon as he was suckling again, Levy's teary eyes looked back up at her. "You can't die… I don't care if I never sleep. Gajeel helps with the twins. I can research whenever he has them. I'll find something… I… I have to try."

Lucy scooted closer and placed her hand on Levy's knee. She squeezed her knee slightly as she tried to comfort her best friend. She could see how the news that she had delivered was tearing her apart. She was desperately holding onto Ryu while tears poured down her face. Somehow, she managed to cry without making a sound. Her body barely shook. It only quivered with the force of her withheld tears. She was holding back her pain, as much as she could, so that she wouldn't upset the twins.

"Levy… Honestly, I'm just glad that I got to be here for the twins' birth."

A sharp noise escaped Levy's lips before she calmed herself again. Still, that one outburst was enough to rouse the sleeping Rin and startle the feeding Ryu. Both babies began to wail and within moments Gajeel had busted through the doors. With one look, he understood what was happening. He swooped in like a dark angel, grabbing one baby in each arm, and disappearing upstairs. Natsu stood in the doorway, unsure of where he belonged. Without the babies to hold her back, Levy fell into a pit of tears. The two best friends wrapped each other in a tight hug. Lucy held Levy as she shook. She whispered calming words to her until Levy was finally able to slow her tears. When they finally let go of each other, Levy managed to speak again.

"I'm so happy that you were here for their birth. I can't… I can't even imagine you not being there to see them after they were born." Her lower lip quivered and slowly Levy rose her left hand up for Lucy to see. An iron ring adorned with an immaculately crafted iron rose sat on her ring finger. With a sharp gasp, Lucy looked up at the blue-haired script mage.

"You're engaged?"

Levy nodded as happiness and pain battled for dominance across her face.

"I'm so happy for you!" She wrapped Levy in another tight hug before letting go, her smile not quite full. She loved Levy and she was so happy for her… Yet, she couldn't stop a tendril of jealousy from worming its way up within her.

She felt someone sit down beside her and she turned to see Natsu. He was incredibly close to her and he gently placed a hand on the small of her back. That one gesture comforted the pain that was storming her heart. Finally, she managed a true smile.

"I'm really, really happy for you. You two are perfect together."

Levy didn't even get the chance to reply before Gajeel's voice boomed down the stairwell. "Double poop duty! I repeat, we have a double trouble situation!"

Levy's lips twitched up in a pained grin as she slowly stood up. Lucy knew that Levy didn't want her to go, but she really couldn't handle any more of the emotions that were flooding that small space right now. Quickly, they said a teary goodbye before Levy bounded up the stairs as Gajeel hollered about some kind of 'flying poop tornado'.

Needless to say, by the time they left the loving home, Natsu had fallen into a fit of laughter. Lucy couldn't help but join him as she imagined Gajeel, with all that long hair, fighting off an airborne spray of fresh baby poop.

Yep, she needed that.

Suddenly, she felt light. That feeling of acceptance from earlier that morning overcame her once more and she found herself pulling Natsu towards her place. For some reason, she couldn't bear the thought of being without him tonight. She needed him by her side. It had been an emotionally trying day and she needed his comforting presence. He followed her silently, allowing her to take control and pull him every-which-way. For the briefest of moments, she only felt happy. No other emotion filtered through her body. All she felt was pure, unadulterated, happiness for no conceivable reason.

Of course, that's when it decided to happen again.

They were almost outside of her apartment when she felt it. A sharp, stabbing pain echoed up from her fingertips and halted her in her tracks. She stared down at her hand in horror as she watched the nasty, black color climb up her hand faster than it ever had before. With a stuttered scream, she collapsed onto the pavement.

She couldn't hear the words that Natsu was saying. She barely felt it as he knelt down and leaned her against him. She wasn't aware of how he pushed her hair back, out of her face, as she began to sweat.

She just felt so damn hot!

Fire was eating her alive. She began to scream something as she ripped at her clothes. She didn't even know what she was saying. All that she could see was the fear in Natsu's eyes. All that she could feel was the head-splitting and all-devouring pain that was somehow becoming worse with each second. With ever-growing horror, she looked down at her hand only to see that the inky black tendrils had crawled up passed her elbow.

She sucked in a deep, harsh breath.

She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't fucking breathe!

She kept trying to suck in desperate gasps of air as she looked back at Natsu's terror-ridden face. She wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't.

Her entire body was limp within his hold. She barely even noticed as he picked her up, bridal style, and began to run.

She tried, one more time, to say his name… Fear gripped her as she realized that this might be it. This might be the last moment that she was alive…

She wanted to say it. She wanted to say that she loved him.

Pain tore apart every inch of her body. All that she was aware of was the searing sensation in her lungs from lack of air and the singular thought of the words that she so desperately wanted to say.

His pink hair bounced as he ran. His fingers dug into her as desperation leaked from him. She wished that she could see his eyes. She loved his eyes… Instead, she was staring at the underside of his chin.

"Natsu…" She managed to moan his name only seconds before her entire world went black.

~ Author's Note ~

Sorry that this update took so long! For some reason, I just had a really hard time writing this chapter. I'm honestly not sure if I like how it turned out, but I didn't want to wait even longer to update.

Thank you so much to all of my wonderful reviewers!

Please, let me know what you think of the chapter! Everyone knows now and Levy even learned the whole truth. Everything is starting to come to a head now, but I promise the story isn't done yet. At the moment, I'm guessing that there will be about four more chapters. But, that could change in an instant so I'll keep you updated.

Thank you, so much, for reading. It really means a lot to me. Your support has been what has kept me going lately. Writing this story has been really helpful and I'm just so glad that you enjoy it.

~ FeudalAi


	12. Chapter 12

Panic.

Sheer and utter panic.

Natsu could hardly breathe. His fingers dug into Lucy's boiling hot skin. Her arm was nearly entirely black. He watched in horror as the horrible color crawled up her skin. With each moment that passed, he became a bit more terrified. Panic choked him. Tears pricked at his eyes and his lungs burned from lack of air.

What the fuck was happening?

Was this the true face of Lucy's illness?

She moaned in his arms. Her voice grated on his ears as she mewled painfully. He had never heard someone in such pain before. She had fainted a few minutes ago, yet she hadn't stopped yelping. The pain reached her, even in her sleep. Fear clutched his heart.

Lucy… He couldn't lose her.

He was only vaguely aware of the fact that he was running in the direction of the hospital. The scenery raced by him in an unrecognizable blur.

She moaned out his name and his heart seized. He glanced down at her sweet face that was currently drenched with sweat. Her cheeks were flushed but the rest of her was terrifyingly pale. The smell of her sickness enveloped her entire being. It radiated off of her, potent and powerful. It nauseated him. Vomit clung to the back of his throat, begging to be released, but he roughly swallowed it back down. He didn't have time to be sick. Still, its rancid taste stung his tongue. He tried to fight off the smell, but with each passing second it only grew stronger. His stomach twisted into knots. With his enhanced hearing, he heard it the moment that her heart slowed down. It crawled to a near stop. Her breathing became shallow and her whimpers ceased. Her mouth hung open and she flopped lifelessly in his arms…

Shit, shit, shit. She was going to fucking die!

"No!" He roared. Tears poured from his eyes. He wasn't aware of anything except for her and his destination. He ran blindly, ignorant of his surroundings, until he slammed into a frozen Gray. The collision startled him and he had to catch his step in order to not lose his balance. He looked up with furious eyes at Gray as he carefully clutched his precious bundle.

Gray's wide and shocked eyes immediately turned serious.

"Put her down, Natsu."

Natsu was only vaguely aware of the billowing smoke that was escaping his lips. "Fuck no!" He spit the words out, fury burning in his voice. In an instant, a cold blast of air had surrounded them. Sinewy, black tendrils covered half of Gray's body in a form that Natsu recognized. That was Gray's demon-slaying magic… Natsu stilled, suddenly awash with uncertainty.

"I won't ask again. Put her down, Natsu."

Natsu's teeth ground together as he unwittingly complied with Gray's demand. He knew that Gray loved Lucy like a sister. There was no way that he would endanger Lucy's life. If he was telling Natsu to stop… Well, then he must have a pretty damn good reason. Ever so carefully, he knelt down. He clutched Lucy close to him and his fingers gently dug into her soft skin. He absolutely refused to let her go. Gray crouched down beside him and reached out, grabbing Lucy's black arm with both of his hands.

"What are you…" Natsu didn't even get the chance to finish his question before Gray was shaking his head. Gray sucked in a sharp breath and Natsu just watched, amazed and confused, by what he saw. A billowing snow storm tore apart the space around them. Snow accumulated on the ground and harsh wind violently whipped their hair. Gray's face was contorted into a fierce look of determination as he focused all of his attention on Lucy's arm. Slowly, the black tendrils began to recede. Color began to return to her slumbering face and her chest began to rise and fall in a steady rhythm. Her staggering heart rate returned to normal and her fever began to fade.

Yet, the horrendous blackness that stained her skin never disappeared. It clung to her arm, clinging to the edges of her elbow. With a frustrated huff, Gray released her and fell backwards onto his butt in an exhausted heap. His body returned to normal and the snowstorm around them slowed to a stop.

Lucy moaned and turned into him, pressing her face into the crook of his arm.

With wide eyes, Natsu looked back at Gray. "What the fuck was that?"

Gray gulped and looked away, his eyes downcast. "We better get her to the hospital."

Natsu tightened his hold on Lucy and slowly stood up, holding her close to his chest. Her fingers curled into his vest and he felt himself silently whimper. Lucy… He couldn't lose her. He took a deep breath and watched as Gray stood as well, refusing to make eye contact.

He was keeping something from him.

Natsu began to walk and Gray fell into step beside him. The space between them was tense. "What is going on? I didn't know you could do that…" His words were harsh, like a whip, and he watched as Gray flinched beneath their weight.

Gray's hands curled into tight fists. "Nothing is going on."

"Bullshit." Natsu's eyes bore into the side of Gray's head. Still, the ice-brained idiot refused to look at him. Natsu huffed and tightened his hold on Lucy. He could see the hospital now and all of his senses were finely attuned to the sound of her every heartbeat.

He could deal with Gray later. For now, he had to take care of Lucy.

As soon as they entered the hospital, he rushed to Hikaru's office. Once the doctor saw Lucy passed out within his arms, a group of nurses were immediately called into the room. Within moments, Lucy was on a gurney and being rolled away into mysterious sectors of the hospital to have tests run. Natsu tried to follow her, his heart growing heavier the farther away she got, but the staff stopped him. Still, he tried to follow. He pushed his way through the doors that separated him from his blonde-haired love until Hikaru blocked his path. It took several minutes of convincing before Natsu slowly backed out of the restricted section and dejectedly joined Gray in the waiting room. He slid onto an uncomfortable, plastic chair across from Gray as time slowly ticked on.

The sound from the ticking clock was harsh on his ears. He felt his anxiety rise with every passing moment. He watched, with anxious eyes, as the doors he was not allowed to enter opened and closed with a flurry of nurses.

Fear lodged in his throat and settled in his stomach like acid reflux.

His hands curled together and his leg bounced incessantly. His sandal clicked against the linoleum floor with every small movement, mirroring the ticking of the clock.

Time dragged on.

His breathing became short and haggard. Each breath tested his patience as his resolve to wait patiently grew thinner and thinner. His teeth grated together as he spied Gray sitting quietly, slouched in the opposing chair. If Natsu didn't know better, he would have even said that Gray looked relaxed, comfortable, and fucking patient.

His face was really starting to tick Natsu off.

Natsu rolled his neck, enjoying the noise of his popping bones, as he tried to contain his ever-growing fury.

Tick, tock.

What felt like hours passed, when it was actually only a mere fifty-two minutes, before Hikaru pushed his way into the waiting room. He looked as if he had aged five years and his lips were pressed into a grim line. With a deep, shaking breath Natsu stood and faced the man. He barely even registered it as Gray stood up to stand beside him.

The seconds that passed as they waited for Hikaru to speak felt like an eternity.

Then, finally, Hikaru's lips parted and he spoke. "We have moved Lucy into a room. She…" Hikaru sighed and ran a hand through his untidy hair. "She is going to need to stay here. She still hasn't awoken. However, her breathing and heart rate are steady." Hikaru nodded at Gray. It was slight, almost unnoticeable, but Natsu caught the small gesture. His gaze darted to Gray questioningly before he refocused on the doctor. "We are running some tests, but we will need to wait for the results. What I can tell you right now is that it isn't looking good. The disease has progressed much more rapidly than I had thought. The medicine…" Hikaru coughed and cleared his throat. His hands dove into the pockets of his lab coat and his unease floated off of him in waves. "The medicine is clearly not working."

Natsu's mouth went dry. His entire body felt numb. He couldn't move. He wanted to say something. He wanted to react. Yet, he was frozen in place. He watched as anxiety and grief flickered across Hikaru's face and he became even more frozen by the lack of hope.

Thankfully, Gray wasn't frozen like him. "What now? How long does she have?"

Natsu visibly flinched and collapsed back onto the hard, plastic chair.

Hikaru's eyes followed him and he took a deep breath before he replied, turning to steadily meet Gray's gaze. "I'll try to come up with a more effective medicine, but unless we find some miracle her chances aren't good."

"How long?" Gray repeated, his voice heavy and flat.

"Honestly? My best guess, if the disease continues to advance at this progressed rate, is one week."

One week.

One, fucking, week.

Natsu's hands gripped the flimsy arm rests of the chair, easily snapping the plastic in two. His vision was swirling. He couldn't tell up from down as his heart beat out of control. "One week?" He was barely aware that he even spoke. His words were soft and hesitant, full of the fear that was clouding his heart and fogging his mind.

Hikaru nodded and Natsu felt something within him crack. "At this rate, one week at the most."

Seven days. At most, Lucy had seven more days.

His mind couldn't comprehend that thought. The number seven swirled around in his mind. Seven seconds, seven minutes, seven hours… Seven days.

Seven days and then… Nothing.

Natsu jolted up, his eyes alight with his pain. "Where is she?" Urgency gripped his voice. He had to be with her. He couldn't lose a single second. Hikaru told him the room number and Natsu darted off towards her without saying a word. Words seemed impossible right now.

Life seemed impossible. Life without her…

Life without her was nothing.

He walked in a daze. Everything was a blur until he pushed open the hospital room's door and spotted her.

Lucy.

She was laying on a hospital bed with tubes protruding from her delicate skin. Her face was still slightly flushed, but her color had returned and she looked much more alive than she had before. A soft smile played across her sleeping lips, beckoning him in closer. Within seconds, he was in the chair by her side with his hands carefully wrapped around her right one. Her skin was silky smooth to the touch and his thumbs immediately began to draw lazy circles over her wrist.

Lucy…

He felt it the moment that Gray entered the room. The air cooled a degree or two as he made his way to the other side of Lucy's bed. Natsu forced himself to look up at his supposed friend.

He knew that Gray was hiding something from him, something important.

"Well?" Natsu's grip on Lucy tightened slightly. His question punctuated the room, making the sterile silence even more profound. For a long moment, the only noise was the gentle beeping from the machine that Lucy was hooked up to.

Gray's hands gripped the rail of Lucy's hospital bed. His knuckles turned white from the exertion of his grip. "I can't tell you."

"Fuck it, Gray." Natsu growled. His eyes narrowed dangerously at his friend. "We're supposed to be friends!"

Gray's eyes narrowed and he stared right back at Natsu, defiant. "You don't understand…"

Natsu bolted up, dropping Lucy's hand as his own balled into tight fists. "Of course I don't cause you're not telling me what I need to know!" His booming voice echoed in the small room.

Gray didn't flinch. Instead, he somehow lost his shirt. He folded his arms across his bare chest. "Don't ask me to tell you."

Natsu's furry was boiling over. Fire engulfed his fists. "I'm not asking. If you don't give me a straight answer, then I'll beat it out of ya."

The stare down that ensued was eerily reminiscent of the moment before their fight during the war with Alvarez. The memories invaded Natsu as he recalled the mind-boggling rage that had consumed him as he and Gray had truly tried to kill each other.

One of them would probably be dead right now if it wasn't for Erza.

Natsu shuddered, revolting at the mere thought of how he had acted. Gray must have recalled the same memory, because his entire posture relaxed and he sighed. Gray turned and walked over to the small window that looked out into the city. He stared at the quickly approaching night for a few minutes before he turned and leaned back against the wall. Natsu watched his every move, his nerves on edge, before he slowly sat back down. But, he didn't reach out for Lucy. His rage was still boiling under the surface. He was too close to spilling over, too close to lashing out, to gently hold her hand the way that he would like. Instead, he waited as patiently as he could for Gray to begin to speak.

But, Natsu was not a man known for his patience.

Right when he was about to burst, Gray finally lifted his head and spoke. "Lucy made me promise not to tell you." He sounded resigned. With an uncharacteristic shiver, he continued. "I know why she's sick."

Natsu sucked in a sharp breath. He had the distinct feeling that he wasn't about to like what Gray was going to say. "Why is she sick?"

Gray pushed off from the wall and walked over to the bed. His gaze moved to Lucy's arm as he eyed the black coloring that clung to her. "When you were fighting Zeref…" Gray sighed and slowly turned to look at Natsu, meeting his gaze head-on. "Lucy, Happy, and I had your book. The book of E.N.D."

Natsu's hands began to shake.

"Something happened… Words were vanishing from the book… Lucy… She knew you were dying…" Gray gulped.

A new kind of terror and guilt began to creep up within Natsu's heart, invading every inch of his body. He felt it, an all-encompassing sense of guilt, crawl up from his toes to his head. Goosebumps covered his body.

"She started to re-write the book. It was amazing. She fixed it. Every missing word. She was… Incredible." Gray paused, letting that sink in for a few seconds before he continued. His voice was shaky and full of the feelings that he refused to admit aloud. "The demonic energy in the book revolted and tried to attack her. It looked like black vines… It covered her arm and reached up her face and towards her heart. She froze and began to sweat." He shook his head, as if trying to clear away the painful memory. "I knew that it was demonic energy so I grabbed her and destroyed it. The black went away and she was fine. We didn't know… I never suspected…" He growled and slammed his fist onto the hospital room's bedside table. Natsu jumped at the sudden outburst, his nerves on edge as he tried to comprehend everything that Gray was saying. "We both thought that I had gotten rid of it. She didn't show any sign of anything being wrong until right before you pulled your most recent disappearing act."

Natsu's world was spinning out of control.

This was his fault?

It was his book, after all.

He was the reason that Lucy was dying?

"I didn't know…" He mumbled. Lucy had never told him that his book had attacked her. In fact, he hadn't even thought about the Book of E.N.D. since he had beaten Zeref. His breathing came in quick bursts as pain exploded within his chest. Bursts of electric light ignited within his veins, making him twitch.

No…

No, no, no… This couldn't be happening.

"Lucy didn't want you to know…" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gray shiver. "I'm sorry, Natsu. I failed."

Natsu stiffened and his senses went on high alert. His head shot up and he pinned Gray with his stare. "What do you mean?"

Gray's hair shadowed his face, blocking his emotions from Natsu's prying eyes. "I failed. I couldn't…" His head rose slightly, just enough so that Natsu could see his eyes. His body shook as he raised his hands, staring at them in disgust. "I couldn't save her. I couldn't kill it."

Natsu's hands curled into fists and his nails bit into the palms of his hands creating crescent moons of blood. "It's not your fault…" He spit out the words like venom. He stood up. His legs quivered beneath him as his gaze traveled back to Lucy's sleeping face. Slowly, his eyes journeyed down her body to the sickening black mark that stained her. Guilt twisted his stomach. "It's mine."

Gray looked at him without saying a word. He understood the guilt that was currently ravaging Natsu. He knew better than to say anything. There was nothing that he could say or do that would make Natsu feel any better. After all, the truth of the matter was that it was all Natsu's fault. It was all his fault…

Zeref had created the curse; but he was gone now. There was no hope. There was no one to ask for a solution. No living soul knew how to undo the damage that Zeref's creations caused. Ur had given up her life to stop Deliora. Countless people were killed during the destruction that Tartaros had wrought before they had managed to stop them. Now, Lucy would pay the price for destroying the demonic essence of Etherious Natsu Dragneel. She would be killed for saving his life.

The price was too steep.

The price was too damn steep.

"It's my fault…" He repeated. The words tumbled from his lips in a haze as his guilt and lack of hope crashed into him like a tidal wave.

No one would be able to save her. No one would be able to stop the evil that Zeref had created…

It was all his damn fault.

He was the reason that Lucy was sick. He was the reason that she was dying.

He was going to be her murderer…

He crashed down onto his knees. His bones collided with the hard, linoleum floor with a dull thud. He leaned his head against the edge of the bed as he reached out for her… For Lucy… For the love of his life.

He held her hand tenderly, trying to expose all of his love and sorrow in that one, simple act.

This would be the end of him.

* * *

Life was funny and a pain in the ass.

Lucy swirled in a never-ending pit of darkness. Stars speckled the dark space around her, encompassing her in their gentle embrace. They were the only reason that she didn't feel scared by the silence that enveloped her. Once in a while, pain would tingle in her fingertips before it would slowly abate, fading back into the darkness around her. It felt like, for some inexplicable reason, the darkness was sucking away all of her pain and worries. Instead, she was filled with an odd glee that made her burst into laughter at absolutely nothing.

Fuck, she was going insane.

A part of her knew that she was dying. She knew that the disease had gotten worse. She knew that her arm was stained inky black. Yet, she didn't regret the decision that had led to this. She didn't regret saving Natsu's life. If the cost of re-writing his book and saving him was her own life, she would eagerly pay the price.

She had known, for a long time, that she would die for him.

The stars swirled around her, spinning out of control. Nausea gripped her stomach and she curled into the fetal position, her head nearly touching her knees as she gripped her stomach. What was happening?

She moaned as acid crawled up the back of her throat. The space around her began to swirl into a mass of colors. They twisted together into a sickening rainbow, making her feel motion-sick.

She wanted Natsu.

Her eyes shot open.

She wasn't ready to die.

She still had to tell Natsu that she loved him.

She couldn't die without telling him… She knew that it was selfish to put her unrequited feelings on his shoulders… But, she couldn't help it.

She had to tell him.

She fought to unravel her body, forcing herself to swallow down the vomit that was rising. The swirling colors around her began to slow until they faded back into black. Once again, stars began to speckle the darkness.

Her celestial spirits.

With a jolt, she realized that they were somehow helping her to hold on. Even though she couldn't see them, they were there with her.

"Thank you…" She whispered into the darkness. The stars flickered back at her, as if acknowledging her words. With renewed confidence, she re-focused her mind on Natsu.

She had to be with him.

She couldn't be trapped here. She wanted to spend her last days with him, not trapped in the abyss that currently encircled her.

She had to escape.

"I want to go back." Her voice was weak. Her throat felt sore from overuse and a vague memory of her painful screams from earlier filtered through her mind. She coughed, willing her voice and herself to be strong. "I want to go back!" Her voice echoed into the darkness, bouncing off of invisible cavern walls. "I want to go back! Let me go back!"

A flame flickered to life in the distance. It grew larger, almost menacingly so. Somehow, its flames parted into a wispy mouth formed by the fire and its own billowing smoke. "Why?" Its voice boomed in the darkness, surrounding her, making it sound like it was coming from all directions at once.

"I need to see him." Lucy's hands curled into fists as determination swelled up within her.

"Why?" It asked again. Its odd mouth flickered in and out of existence as its flames grew, swallowing up the space around her. Her body felt hot and sweat began to speckle her forehead. A modicum of fear trickled into her, but she refused to let it consume her.

She wouldn't let it take this from her. She wouldn't let it take her last chance to tell Natsu how she felt. That was the one thing that she wouldn't let it do.

"You know why." Lucy snapped, fury boiling in her eyes. "You're taking everything from me, but you can't have this. I have to tell him how I feel."

"Oh?" It questioned. A tongue made of fire licked its lips, sending a quiver of disgust up Lucy's spine.

"Yes." She stated. The creature seemed to appraise her for a minute before it responded.

"What do I get in return?"

"You're already taking everything!" Lucy yelled as frustration wove its way into her voice.

The creature laughed and puffs of smoke escaped its make-shift lips. "I guess you're right about that." It sounded pleased with itself.

Lucy crossed her arms beneath her heaving chest. Sweat was beginning to coat her entire body by now. Almost all of the black surrounding her had been engulfed by the fire. All of the stars, except for one, had vanished into its hungry flames. She stared up at that bright, lone star and gained strength from its mere presence.

"I want to go now."

The creature just laughed.

Lucy's hair cascaded out around her in a golden halo. Power surged through her veins and bursted from her body. This power… It reminded her of the spell Urano Metria. Suddenly, she knew what to do. She watched as the creature seemingly flinched. It withdrew its flames sightly and Lucy smirked as she spied the comforting darkness returning.

She knew that she wouldn't be able to kill it. All that she needed was some time. All that she needed was to be able to spend her last days awake and by Natsu's side.

"Urano Metria!" She cast the spell with every ounce of magical energy that she could muster. Its power burst from her as the constellations barraged the creature that tormented her. The creature slunk back, its flames lessening but never disappearing, as the spell came to an end.

"Fine." The creature hissed. "But know that I'm coming for you. It won't be long now. You won't be able to escape."

Exhaustion slammed into Lucy as she watched the fire shrink. "I know." She muttered just as the fire flickered out of existence. The stars around her burst into light, enveloping her in a white world before she was suddenly thrust back into reality.

The first thing that she was aware of was the incessant beeping from a machine.

Next, she felt the familiar crinkle of stiff hospital sheets beneath her shifting body.

Pain inhabited every inch of her. She groaned as she tried to stretch her limbs, her toes curling as the pain reverberated upwards.

Then, something warm squeezed her hand.

She froze. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Even that small act felt impossibly difficult. Still, it was all worth it.

A mop of pink hair greeted her view.

His head was pressed against the bed, blocking his face from her view. Both of his hands were gently wrapped around hers. A smile tugged at the edges of her lips. Using all of the strength that she had, she whispered the name that she loved so dearly.

"Natsu…"

His hands tightened their hold. Slowly, his head rose. Dark bags hung underneath his red-rimmed eyes.

Had he been crying?

"Natsu…" She repeated. His mouth popped open and he quickly sat up, dropping her hand as he did so.

"Luce?" The pained hope that filled his voice was like a lifeline. She clung to it, letting it fill her body with energy. With this new thread of strength, she reached out to him and clung onto his hand. His wide eyes traveled down to their clasped hands before a slow smile creeped up his face. "You're awake." Relief flooded his voice.

"Mhm." She nodded. Her eyes remained glued on him as she licked her parched lips.

"Good. That's good." Gray's voice shocked her. She turned her head to the side slightly to see him standing, shirtless, by the other side of her bed. She blushed slightly. She hadn't realized that he was even there.

"Gray?" She questioned. She watched as he avoided her gaze. Anxiety filled his every move. Within seconds of her questioning gaze being placed upon him, he was speeding out of the room. As he passed, he placed a reassuring hand on Natsu's shoulder, squeezing it slightly, before he quickly moved towards the door.

"Glad you're awake. I'll… I'll be back later." He didn't turn to look at her. Instead, he waved over his shoulder before he disappeared into the hallway. She couldn't help but stare at the door.

Something was wrong; she could feel it.

Still, that wasn't what mattered right now.

Her eyes returned to Natsu's and she squeezed his hand a bit tighter.

He was so fucking beautiful.

He was amazing, inside and out. She had never known anyone who could love as fiercely as him. He would do anything, and everything, for his friends and the people that he cared about. He would give up his life if it meant just saving one of them. He was playful, a jokester, yet he could also be completely serious. He was her family, her home, and her life.

She loved him, so very much.

She coughed to clear her throat. The pain in her body was beginning to dissipate, slowly evaporating back into nothingness. "How long do I have?"

Natsu's lips pressed into a thin, tight line. His eyes narrowed and his head dipped so that his bangs covered his darkening expression. He didn't answer.

Gently, she squeezed his hand. "It's okay, Natsu. You can tell me. Please."

His entire body shook. His fingers quivered in her grasp. She tightened her grip, trying to help steady him. Still, he didn't meet her gaze. "One week. At most." He nearly whimpered the words.

A graceful smile spread across her face. So, this really was the end. She didn't have much time, but she didn't care. Right now, all that she cared about was him. "It's okay…" She whispered.

Finally, he lifted his head. Emotions flared across his face, violent and turbulent. "It's not okay!" He snapped before he immediately deflated. His fiery voice flatlined as grief filled every decibel. "It's not okay, Luce… It's not okay." His bottom lip quivered.

She hated how he looked right now, so broken and forlorn. She wanted to see his smile. She wanted his happy voice to fill the room. She wanted to be enveloped by his warm embrace. She wanted to press her face into the crook of his neck and feel his pulse point against her lips…

Slowly, she pulled her hand out of his. She scooted over to the far side of her small bed and patted the space beside her. "Join me." She took a deep breath and leveled him with a pleading look. "Please."

Before she could even blink, he was carefully maneuvering around the wires that were attached to her. He laid down on the bed and she folded into his side like she belonged there. His arm looped around her shoulder and pulled her in close to him. She loved the way that his fingers grazed her waist, sending delightful tingles throughout her body. She rested her hand against his chest, slipping her fingers beneath his vest. Her fingers splayed across the taught surface. With every rise and fall of his chest, she relished in the knowledge that he was alive.

She relished in the knowledge that she had saved him, regardless of the cost.

She angled her head back slightly so that she could look up at his face. He was already looking at her, analyzing her, with his deep eyes. She felt trapped by his gaze. Nerves flooded her system as she looked up at him. His fingers tightened their hold around her waist and her breath hitched.

She wanted to tell him. She needed to tell him. But, wow, was she nervous.

He seemed to contemplate something for a moment before he rose his free hand to gently push her hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch as her heart beat out of control. Her lips parted, just slightly, as his fingers lingered behind the edges of her ear. His fingertips pressed lightly into her skin as he trailed his teasing touches down her neck to the base of her collarbone.

Oh, fuck. He was enchanting.

She was sure that he wasn't trying to make her heart pound. She was sure that he didn't realize how he was making her body, heart, and mind react to his mere touch.

She had fought her disease to get to be awake right now and she wasn't going to lose her chance. She could slip back into the darkness, unable to escape, at any moment. She had to cherish the time that she had.

"Luce…" Her name sounded like honey. It melted on his lips. "Don't scare me like that again." He smiled slightly as a forced laugh wormed its way passed his lips.

She smiled back at him. "Sorry."

He shook his head and his fingers subconsciously traveled up to her chin before they began lazily tracing her jawbone. She had to fight back the small moan that begged to be released from his gentle ministrations.

She couldn't help but wish that they were in the park, where she had planned to say the words that she kept secret within her heart. But, beggars can't be choosers.

She could feel the steady 'thump, thump' of his heart beneath her hand. She loved that feeling. Life… It was precious.

His smile slipped as he watched her. Seriousness flickered across his face. She could see something poignant boiling beneath the surface, just begging to be released. Her mind flashed back to Gray and how he had avoided eye contact with her as he left the room.

Something was wrong.

She frowned slightly and lifted her hand from his chest to gently push his hair back. He froze at her touch. For a brief moment, the seriousness that laced his face disappeared.

There, that was better.

This was her chance.

She took a deep breath and let her hand fall back down to cover his heart. Her nerves coated every inch of her body, igniting her and making her feel more alive than she had in weeks.

This was it.

"Natsu, I have to tell you something."

His heart rate noticeably increased. "What is it? You can tell me anything, Luce." Questions floated in his eyes. His grip on her waist tightened slightly and she felt her breath hitch. She pinched her eyes shut for a moment, gathering her courage, before she stared straight into his eyes and finally told him exactly how she felt.

"I love you."

~ Author's Note ~

What do you think? It finally happened. Lucy told him exactly how she felt!

I really hope that you enjoyed the chapter. At the moment, I'm on track to finish this story in three more chapters. However, this could change at any time. I go where the story leads me.

Thank you so much for all of your support! Your reviews mean the world to me. I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story.

Please, review and let me know your thoughts!

~ FeudalAi


	13. Chapter 13

Natsu froze. His breath hitched and his eyes widened as he looked down at Lucy. Did he hear her right? Did she really just say that? He gulped, his mouth suddenly parched. Her big eyes were on him and a soft smile graced her face. His brain scrambled to catch up. Confusion and excitement tore at his every nerve, setting his body alight with an all-consuming fire. He wanted to speak. He needed to speak. But, his mind was completely numb. He was locked in a state of shock, stuck in suspended animation. His mouth fell open as he tried to speak, his heart hammering in his chest.

But, that's when Lucy moved.

Before he could sputter out his barely formed thoughts, Lucy pressed a firm finger to his trembling lips.

"Sh." She lowered her hand, letting her fingers slowly caress his lips as she did so. "Don't reply. Don't…" She sighed and her eyes drooped. She looked exhausted. Dark bags hung underneath her eyes. She was nearly completely limp within his embrace. Exhaustion exuded from her, clouding her beautiful scent. "Don't say anything. I just needed to tell you." Her smile flickered and she lowered her head to his chest. She sighed and her breath tickled his bare skin, sending lightening bolts throughout his body. "Just, hold me, okay?"

Natsu licked his lips, quickly wetting them. "Okay, Luce."

"I'm so tired…" Her voice was weak and soft. He held her tighter. His fingers curled into her soft skin a bit harder, holding onto her as tight as he dared.

"Get some sleep. I'm here. I'll be here when you wake up." He whispered the words. As soon as he had spoken he felt her lips twitch up into a small smile. Only moments later, her breathing leveled out.

She was already asleep.

With his free hand, Natsu reached up to gently tuck her golden hair behind her ear. His fingers grazed her flushed skin. Carefully, so as not to wake her, he leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss against her forehead. He closed his eyes and breathed in her scent.

She loved him.

He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. He couldn't believe it… Her words rocketed around his brain on constant reply. He leaned back from her, trying to see her face. But, all that he could see was her forehead and the tip of her nose. His fingers slowly wove through her hair, massaging her scalp lightly. In her sleep, she moaned slightly from his ministrations.

She loved him.

His giddy smile flickered into a frown and his fingers dug into the skin on her waist. She shifted slightly and slung a leg over him. She wrapped herself around him, pulling him close. The smell of her sickness wafted up to him, noxious and debilitating.

She couldn't fucking die.

He needed her. He couldn't live without her. Fear clenched his heart, making his entire body seize up. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

He was the reason that she was sick.

If she hadn't re-written his book, then she would be alive. Sure, he would be dead… But, he didn't care. He would rather have died than to see her suffer now. He couldn't…

A growl seeped through his lips and she wiggled against him, inadvertently calming him.

He couldn't be the cause of her death. He wouldn't be able to handle that. He wouldn't be able to breathe if she… If she…

If she died.

She couldn't die… Not after she had finally told him that she loved him. Not now. Not when he loved her too…

Fuck. Why didn't he tell her that?

He felt the words on the tip of his tongue as he held her while she slept. If he just closed his eyes he could pretend that they were laying on her bed, in her room, instead of in this sterile hospital. If he let himself, he could imagine a future with her. He could imagine kissing her, holding her long into the night, marrying her, seeing her swell with their child…

He bit the inside of his cheek as hot tears began to fall relentlessly from his eyes.

He couldn't lose her.

He turned slightly so that he could pull her against his chest. Her head shifted to rest on his bicep and he wrapped his other arm around her, completely embracing her. He leaned his head down to press into the top of her soft hair.

"Luce…" His voice trembled as his tears continued to fall. "I love you. I love you too. I love you so damn much. You can't…" He hiccuped as his tears continued to pour. His whispered words were lost on her sleeping ears, but he didn't care. "You can't leave me. You got that? Don't you dare leave me."

He hated the tears that ran down his face.

He hated how weak he felt.

He hated how this was all his fault.

He hated the fact that unless something changed really soon, he was going to lose her.

He fucking hated all of this.

His entire body vibrated as he tried to hold in his pain. He didn't want to wake her. She had looked so tired… She needed her rest. She needed her strength.

"I love you…" He mouthed the words against her. "I love you, Luce."

She hummed against him, still soundly asleep. Her fingers subconsciously curled against his chest, her nails gently biting into his skin. With a deep, shaky breath he stilled his shaking body. The tears slowed, but didn't stop, as he leaned his head back into the pillow. He stared up at the white tiles of the hospital ceiling, his mind dredging up memories of the woman that he was lovingly holding. He could remember the first time that they had met. He could remember the first time that he had come over to her apartment. He could remember the first time that he had saved her life. He could remember the first time that she had saved his. He could remember it all.

What he couldn't remember was when things had started to change.

He couldn't remember the first time that she had popped into his thoughts. All that he could remember was that she was always there, in the back of his mind. He couldn't remember the first time that he had dreamed about her. All that he could remember was that she had been showing up in them, for years, making his heart lurch.

He didn't know the moment that he had started loving her. All that he knew was that he had been in love with her for a lot longer than he was willing to admit. Before he had even realized it, she had became a necessary part of his everyday life. When he had left her for that year it had been the hardest thing that he had ever had to do. She had haunted him. She had snuck into his dreams and his every waking thought, tormenting him with the mere memory of her. Without her, a part of him was missing.

Living without her was an impossibility. Being happy without her was inconceivable.

He pinched his eyes shut and willed the tears to stop. He had to stop crying. He couldn't let her see his tears. He couldn't let her see his fear. He allowed himself to replay her sweet words in his mind. Her 'I love you' played on repeat, calming him and slowing the tears that crawled down his face.

She loved him and he could hold onto that feeling, for now at least.

With a heavy sigh, he looked back up at the ceiling. One thing was for sure, there was no way he was getting any damn sleep tonight.

* * *

Lucy woke to a warm embrace. Heat radiated around her, making her feel too hot. Yet, she didn't want to move. The rise and fall of Natsu's chest made her lips twitch up into a soft smile. He was alive and that was all that mattered. She leaned into him a bit more, trying to feign sleep so that he wouldn't realize that she was already awake. His grip on her shifted slightly. One hand held her waist securely while the other moved to fiddle with the ends of her hair. A soft blush lit up her face as she remembered what she had told him the night before and her stomach twisted into knots.

Fuck…

She was glad that she had told him. She really was. But, she was terrified to see his reaction. Saying those three words had drained her of all her energy the night before. She hadn't been able or ready to hear what he had to say.

She still wasn't ready.

It would just be easier if he never replied. It would be easier if they could just continue on as they had been. She didn't want to lose him, especially not when she only had a few days left. She wanted to spend her last moments by his side. She didn't want any distance between them. Not now, not when she was on the verge of death.

He groaned as her fingers inadvertently traced the shape of his chest. His fingers tightened around her waist, making her breathing hitch. He stiffened and she knew that she had been caught.

"Luce?" His voice was soft yet prodding.

She nuzzled her face into his chest, not ready to let this moment slip by. "Yea?" Her voice was barely more than a croak. Her throat was so damn dry. Absently, she wondered when the last time she drank water was. He jostled her slightly as he moved away from her. Still, she burrowed her head into his chest, refusing to let him see her heated face. He sighed, giving up on moving her from her position, before he spoke again.

"About what you said yesterday…"

Lucy pinched her eyes shut. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready for the sting of rejection. She wasn't ready for her remaining days to feel awkward every time that she was around him. She heard the door creak open and she could have fainted from relief.

"Why you in the bed, flame-brain?" Gray's voice pricked at her ears and she couldn't help but smile. She leaned back from Natsu to spy him. Natsu grunted and, regrettably, carefully unwrapped himself from her. As soon as he was off of the bed she missed his touch. Her heart begged for him to come closer, to keep holding her… Her blush deepened and when she finally peeked up at him, she was happy to see pink dusting his cheeks as well.

"Cause Luce wanted me to, you idiot." Natsu jostled back, rolling his eyes half-heartedly at his friend. Gray simply shook his head and moved to the foot of her bed. She shifted, pulling herself back up on the bed and propping up the pillow as a backrest. As soon as she was somewhat sitting up, she carefully took in the sight of her friend.

Gray… He didn't look good.

Bags hung underneath his eyes. He looked worn down. His hair was a tangled mess. The most disturbing thing though was the fact that he was still fully clothed. Lucy's smile fell away as she watched him nervously tap his finger on the bed's railing. He wasn't even making eye contact. Recognition floated over Lucy and her soft smile returned as a wave of thankfulness overcame her.

"You told the guild, didn't you?"

Gray stiffened at her soft words and nodded. He didn't say anything else, he didn't need to. A tense silence filled the room for a moment before she managed to speak again.

"Thank you, Gray. I don't think I could have done it myself." Her hands twisted into the stiff hospital sheets. She couldn't even imagine going to the guild to tell everyone that she only had a week left to live. She couldn't imagine dealing with the outburst of their grief when she was still trying to work through her own feelings about it.

Gray shrugged, yet he still didn't make eye contact. "No problem." His entire posture was slouched and her heart lurched. She wanted to comfort him. She wanted to ease the pain and the guilt that she could see covering him like a weighted blanket. But, she didn't know how. She had no idea how to help him and it killed her. She sucked in her bottom lip, chewing it slightly as she worked up the courage to speak.

"How did they take it."

Finally, Gray turned to look at her with unsteady eyes. "They want to see you." His words chilled her and she involuntarily shivered. She didn't know if she was ready for that. She didn't want to face the horde of people all coming to say farewell… She wasn't sure if she could handle seeing them, knowing that it would be for the last time. "Don't worry, I stopped them… At least, for today." Exhaustion clung to his words and he gravitated towards the chair on the other side of the bed. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on her stiff mattress, his face in his hands. His body trembled slightly. For once, he didn't seem to care that they were not alone. His feelings were breaking through his facade in little bursts, letting her see the pain that he was really in. "I'm sorry…" He nearly whispered the words.

"I told you to stop saying that." Before she could think it over, Lucy reached forward and tugged at one of his arms until he lifted his head. She snagged his hand and held it within both of hers as she stared defiantly back at him. "This isn't your fault. This isn't anyone's fault." Her mind flashed back to Natsu and she was immediately grateful that he didn't know the truth. She couldn't handle it if he blamed himself for her death. Gray stiffened slightly, but she didn't really notice. She was too consumed with the emotions that were flaring across his usually unreadable face.

A sudden squeak from behind her made Lucy freeze. "Love rival?"

Gray smiled awkwardly and leaned back, a nervous smile on his face as he scratched the back of his head. "Did I tell you that I brought Juvia with me?"

Lucy shot him a pointed glare before laughter peeled from her lips and she turned to look at Juvia. The blue-haired water-maiden was standing in the doorway, clinging to the doorframe, as she anxiously watched her. Lucy's eyes quickly caught sight of Natsu's frozen figure before she looked away from him. She could deal with him later.

"I'm not your love rival."

Juvia smiled, big and wide. It was infectious and Lucy felt her own large smile light up her face. "You'll always be my love rival." Juvia maneuvered to Gray's side, their hands instantly entwining. Lucy smiled at the small sign of affection before a new wave of pain slammed into her heart. Her smile dipped and she looked up at the couple, sadness dripping from her features.

"I'm sorry, you guys…"

Juvia quirked her head. "For what?"

Lucy shrugged slightly and stared down at her hands, unable to look at them. "Sorry I won't be making it to the wedding… You did all that work to schedule it sooner too…"

"Oh, Lucy!" Within seconds, Juvia's arms were wrapped around her. Without her permission, tears began to fall down Lucy's cheeks and she shoved her face into the pile of blue hair. Juvia held her tightly, seeming to understand the pain that was radiating off of her. "Don't worry about that." Juvia moved her lips right next to Lucy's ear, whispering the next words just for her to hear. "You're going to be okay. I believe that…" Lucy's grip tightened on her as her tears continued to flow. "Just know you are in our hearts. Even if… Even if the worst happens then you will still be there. Got it?"

Lucy nodded against her before Juvia let her go. Quickly, she wiped at her tears, trying to hide them from prying eyes. Still, with one quick glance she knew that she had been caught. Natsu was barely an inch away from the bed with a furious glare pointed in Juvia's direction. Turning her head, Lucy pointedly ignored his hand which was creeping towards hers.

"You two are perfect for each other. I'm so happy for you." Her voice broke slightly as she spoke, but no one acknowledged it. Instead, Gray just stared down at the edge of the bed while Juvia nodded enthusiastically at her, trying to be a speck of brightness in the gloomy room. A warm hand snagged hers and she squeezed it. She could have sworn she heard Natsu sigh at the small contact. Gray's eyes dashed between the two of them. He coughed softly, drawing her attention back to him.

"I meant to tell ya though, Levy didn't take it too well."

Lucy froze and her eyes went wide. Levy…

Gray frowned and continued. "She left the house, dragging Gajeel and the twins with her to the library. Since last night she has had her head shoved in a pile of books. She won't stop. She won't sleep. She only eats so that she can feed the twins. Gajeel… He's worried about her. She won't listen to him. The only reason she takes a break is if the twins are crying…"

Lucy's teeth ground together. "What should we do?"

Juvia shook her head. "I don't think that you can stop her. She's not going to stop. None of them will."

Lucy quirked an eyebrow. "Them?"

Gray leaned back in his chair, anxious. "Yea, them. Most of the guild is running around that damn library at Levy's beck and call. They are all looking… Looking for a miracle."

Lucy's breath hitched. They were doing that? For her? Tears fell from her eyes, unrestricted, and she immediately felt Natsu crawl back onto the bed with her. He moved her so that he was behind her and she was pulled back tight against his chest.

They loved her.

Her makeshift family… They really loved her.

Her small fists came up to push her tears away. Natsu's arms were wrapped tightly around her stomach. His presence gave her strength. Through her tears, she smiled. "Have everyone come this week. I doubt that they'll be letting me out of here… So, have them come. Just tell them no mushy crap, okay?"

Gray quirked a small smile and a bit of life came back into his face. "Got it, Lucy. I'll tell them no mushy crap."

Juvia's eyes traveled between Natsu and her before she reached for Gray. Gently, she tugged on his arm. "We should get going now."

"Why?" He spluttered. Juvia simply yanked on his arm, pulling him from his chair.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Hell no it isn't woman!" Gray snapped. Lucy couldn't help but smile as the water-mage drooped herself over him, pulling him inch by inch closer to the door.

"Bye, Lucy!" Juvia waved at her as Gray continued to attempt to stop their retreat. Finally, when they were at the door, he looked back over at her and a look of recognition dawned on his face as his lips parted in a silent 'oh'. "We'll be sure to come back really soon!" Juvia's chipper voice declared as she yanked a waving Gray the rest of the way out of the hospital room.

Instantly, silence welcomed them.

Natsu sighed and rested his chin on top of her head. His arms held her securely in place against him, banishing any thought of moving from her mind.

"Natsu…"

He shifted, moving his head to the crook of her neck. He nuzzled into her, making her gasp. "Yea, Luce?"

Her mind went temporarily blank. His woodsy scent invaded her and she leaned her head back against him as he completely supported her. Before she could even stop herself, the words spilled from her lips. It was like now that she had said them, she couldn't stop saying them. "I love you." His breath hitched before he pressed a searing kiss against the base of her neck. She closed her eyes, honestly not expecting a response.

But, then he spoke in that sexy, deep voice of his and her whole world changed.

"I love you too, Luce."

Her eyes shot open and her entire body went stiff. He what?

His fingers tightened on her and he somehow managed to pull her even closer to him. His breath delightfully teased her as it brushed against her skin. "What?" She managed to squawk. Her entire body was tingling. Every inch of him that was pressed against her set her nerves on fire. Happiness swamped her body, overriding every other emotion.

"I love you." He lifted his head slightly, his nose tracing the line of her neck till he reached the back of her ear. "I have, for a long time." He pressed his forehead into the back of her head. His fingers trailed down her forearm, making goosebumps shoot to the surface. Each touch was like a blaze, igniting her senses and making it even harder to breathe. Her heart hammered in her chest as she took in all that he was saying. "I don't deserve you, Luce…"

At that, fury ripped through her. She pulled away from him and turned around as much as she could so that she was facing him. Anxious sorrow gripped his face. Pain and love battled for dominance in the depths of his eyes. "Don't say that." His eyes widened at the anger in her voice.

"Luce?"

"Don't ever say that." She demanded. She gently cupped the side of his face and brushed her thumb over his cheekbone. "Don't ever say that you don't deserve me. You. Are. Amazing. Do you understand me?" His breath hitched and he nodded numbly. Amusement lit up her heart as he leaned into her touch. "So, I guess you liked that kiss after all, huh?"

A dangerous darkness overcame his face. All humor disappeared as he leaned in closer to her and she lost her breath. "You have no idea how much I liked it."

She gulped, trying to keep control of herself. "You sure didn't act like you did." The space between them suddenly dripped with desire. Everything felt hot, heated, as if they were on the verge of something equally amazing and terrifying. He reached up, his fingers digging into her hair as he gripped the back of her head. Her lips parted subconsciously as she remained locked in place by his burning eyes.

"Shall I show you just how much I liked it?"

The world felt like it came to a halt as their eyes held onto each other. She didn't even have time to respond before he leaned forward, tilting her head up slightly, and pressed his warm lips against hers.

She melted.

Fire ignited within her as every touch became a searing promise of something more. Their lips pressed together fervently, wantonly, as they held each other tight. His tongue reached out, flicking across her soft lips, demanding entrance. With a needy sigh, her lips popped open and suddenly he was exploring her. Their tongues battled it out as they gripped each other a bit harder.

She twisted so that she was laying on top of him now, the supporting pillow having long been pushed out of the way. His chest was firm beneath her, making her aware of his speeding heart beat. Her fingers tangled in his hair and pulled at the back of his neck, desperately trying to bring him even closer to her.

One of his hands inched underneath the back of her shirt, igniting her as he gripped her side. His other hand was tangled within her long locks, keeping her mouth close and refusing to let either of them up for air.

The kiss was made up of their desperate love, a love that they both knew had a fast approaching expiration date.

Eventually, they were forced to separate as they gulped for air. She rolled onto her side, her head safely nestled on the crook of his shoulder. His fingers were still tangled in her hair, refusing to let her go. She lifted her head just enough so that their eyes could meet and she couldn't stop a hot blush from lighting up her face.

They had just kissed, like really kissed.

He leaned forward and placed a short, tender kiss upon her lips before he rested his forehead against hers. Their eyes danced together, each desperately searching the other's face. The heated passion and happiness from the previous moment began to fade away as the sounds from the hospital began to float back to them.

"What are we going to do?" She whispered. Fear clenched her heart. She hated the idea of losing him much more than she hated the idea of dying. She didn't want to be without him.

She didn't want to leave him.

He pressed a soft kiss against the tip of her nose, making her sigh. "I don't know, Luce. I don't know." He pulled her against her and she dug her face into his chest.

They clung to each other as if it was the last time.

She felt tears prick at her eyes again. She really didn't know how she'd be able to leave him now. The future they could have had floated in her mind, tormenting her with images created by her deepest desires.

"I can't lose you, Luce…" His whispered words cut through her like a knife. They tore apart her insides and made her curl in on herself as she desperately held onto him.

The truth was, he was going to lose her. She had six more days at most.

Then, she would be gone.

She pressed a trembling kiss to his exposed chest. "You'll be okay…" She whispered, praying that her words were the truth. She wanted him to be okay. She didn't want him to be sad and hold onto the memory of her. She didn't want her memory to torture him.

He stiffened and his grip became almost painful. "No. I won't be." His matter-of-fact statement made her lose her breath. The sound of the door opening jarred her from her frozen reality. With heavy eyes, she looked up to see an apologetic Hikaru standing in the doorway. She signed in relief and gently pushed herself up into a sitting position. Natsu immediately took in the situation and adjusted himself once more so that he was behind her, acting as her back rest. His arms wrapped around her middle once more, overprotective. She smiled at the loving gesture as a soft blush lit up her cheeks.

Hikaru blushed as he made his way to the foot of the bed. "How are you feeling, Lucy?"

Lucy shrugged, trying to focus on the doctor instead of Natsu's tantalizing touch. "Pretty well, considering."

"No nausea, headaches, or a fever?" Hikaru looked down at her chart that he was holding, carefully noting her responses.

"I'm just tired."

Hikaru eyed her carefully. His eyes travelled from her to the protective dragon-slayer behind her. "You're going to start getting more and more tired now. We can continue the treatment if you want, it might buy you an extra day or two, but…"

Lucy shook her head, cutting him off. "I don't want it."

Hikaru nodded, understanding, but Natsu's grip on her tightened. "Luce…" He ground out through clenched teeth.

Lucy reached for his hand and covered it with her own, trying her best to comfort him. "I don't want to spend my last days throwing up and in pain." She flinched, remembering the searing pain from only the day before. She looked down at her arm to see the inky black markings still staining her skin. "Is there anything you can do for the pain?"

Hikaru nodded. "We've already put a medication into your IV drip to help with that. We can increase the dosage if the pain gets even worse."

Lucy smiled sadly and forced out the question that resided on her tongue. "There's no hope, is there?"

Hikaru simply shook his head, bringing her world to its knees with the small motion. "I don't believe so. Still, you never know when a miracle will happen. I truly hope that a miracle will find you, Lucy."

Lucy pinched her eyes shut as a wave of exhaustion slammed into her. It was beginning to seem like she couldn't stay awake for long before she was completely worn out. "Would your daughter like to meet me?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "You mean it?"

"I promised she could, didn't I?" Lucy smirked. "I'd love to meet my number one fan before I'm gone."

Hikaru's grip on his clipboard tightened and he looked away from her. "Thank you, Lucy. That will mean the world to her."

"I can't wait." She said enthusiastically. She really did mean it. She was excited to meet the little girl who loved her writing so much. It still amazed her that her writing had helped someone. With a lurch, she realized that she would never get to finish Stella and Blaise's story. All the stories that she would never get to tell rattled through her brain at hyper-speed.

Her whole future… It was just gone. Poof.

"I'll be back in to check on you later." Hikaru waved goodbye to them before departing. Lucy watched him go with a solemn face. Her emotions rolled on tidal wave. One moment, she was blisteringly happy within Natsu's embrace and the next she was completely obsessed with her looming death.

Depression loomed over her like a shadow, begging her to crawl into its dark depths. "Natsu?" She whispered.

"Hm?" He leaned forward, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Is it okay if I get some sleep?"

"Of course, Luce." He slid out from behind her and was about to climb out of the bed when she stopped him. She looked up at him with desperate, fear-laced eyes.

"Please, don't leave me alone."

He looked at her, his gaze steady and sure. "Never, Luce."

With a happy sigh she laid her head on the stiff pillow. She turned on her side so that he could spoon her. She pressed her body back against his and relished in the way his muscles reflexively tensed. By the time his arm slung around her waist, she was nearly already asleep. Just as she was falling into dreamland, his words drifted over to her.

"I'll never leave you, Luce."

With a soft sigh, she wished that she could say the same thing. Her exhaustion overcame her and she allowed herself to fall back to sleep.

* * *

Natsu stared at the back of her head. He cherished the slow rise and fall of her tight stomach as she slept. His fingers slid under her shirt, just poking under the edge to rest against her soft skin.

Fuck, he loved her. He loved her and there was nothing that he could do to save her.

He was the reason that she was dying and there was nothing that he could do about it except be there for her.

He wouldn't leave her, no matter what.

He wouldn't waste a single second that she had left.

For now, with her pressed against him, he would hope. He would imagine a future where she somehow made it through this, where he could make her his wife and give her the future that she had always dreamed of. For now, he would allow his foolish heart to believe that he was simply having a terrible nightmare.

Hope was the only weapon that he head right now, but it was a double-edged sword.

With a soft grunt he nuzzled her head. "I belong to you, forever, Luce. Just, please, don't leave me."

~ Author's Note ~

Hello, everyone! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. I had a harder time writing it than usual. It's probably because I actually have the hardest time writing the last couple chapters than any other part of the story. Only two chapters left! One might serve as an epilogue, though.

So, what did you think of this chapter? How was Natsu's reaction?

Do you think there is any hope?

Thank you so much to all of my reviewers! Your words mean the world to me.

~ FeudalAi


	14. Chapter 14

_After Blaise's fist collided with Colby's face, the situation became even more tense. Stella yanked Blaise away from his brother and pulled him back down onto the bench. His entire body was stiff and he fell back against her roughly. A small yelp escaped her and he instantly shifted off of her, his hand falling onto her knee beneath the table and squeezing it tightly. Her heart beat erratically within her chest before she managed to take a deep breath and refocus on the situation at hand. With narrowed eyes, she turned her gaze back onto Colby who was absentmindedly rubbing his jaw._

 _"_ _Ouch, little brother." He muttered through clenched teeth._

 _Blaise simply grunted in return, his eyes burning. He clenched the picture of Lily within his free hand, almost crushing it. Colby's eyes darted down to it and a small frown wrinkled his face, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he slid onto the bench across from them and an awkward silence fell over their table. Stella placed her hand on top of Blaise's, squeezing it lightly. A shudder ran through his body and he sighed, leaning back against the hard, wooden backrest. He cracked a small smile, barely more than a smirk, before he spoke again._

 _"_ _You deserved it." He stated gruffly._

 _Colby shrugged. "I probably did."_

 _"_ _This…" Blaise raised the clutched picture, shaking it at Colby. "What is this?"_

 _Colby's face twisted in confusion. "I told you, I'm a dad now. That's my daughter."_

 _"_ _That's not what I meant." Blaise's body shook with barely restrained anger. "This is the reason that you came back? After all this time? You just disappeared. You left me. You left Dad. You abandoned us!" Anger gripped his voice and his hand shook. He squeezed her knee a bit tighter and she leaned into him, trying to comfort him as best as she could._

 _Colby visibly deflated as Blaise's words collided with him. "I was hoping we could just ignore all of that and move on. I'm back now. Isn't that good enough?"_

 _"_ _No. That's not good enough."_

 _Colby sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine. Do you want the truth?"_

 _"_ _Of course I do!" Blaise snapped. Stella leaned against him a bit more and his hand wove its way around her leg, gripping her beneath the knee. His muscles flexed in his toned arm, displaying his anger and frustration for the world to see._

 _Stella wanted to speak. She wanted to say something, anything, but this moment wasn't about her. This moment was between two brothers, it didn't involve her. All that she could do was be there for Blaise when everything came crashing down and he had to rebuild his perception of the world._

 _"_ _We thought you were dead…" Blaise's voice twisted into a whine. "Of course I need the truth. Dad needs the truth. We thought…" He hiccuped and turned his head away from Colby's eager eyes. "We thought something horrible had happened."_

 _Colby shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. "I didn't think about that."_

 _"_ _Of course you didn't." Blaise snapped, still refusing to look at his brother._

 _"_ _Look…" Colby began. He placed his elbows on the table and folded his hands as a wave of seriousness overcame him. "After Mom died I just couldn't deal. I felt like it was my fault. She had gone out that day to pick me up stuff for baseball, after all. I was so mad at her that she had bought me the wrong glove that I had yelled at her. The last words I ever said to her were ones of anger. If I hadn't done that… Then she wouldn't have been in the car… She wouldn't have been hit by that drunk driver… It was all my fault."_

 _Blaise's grip on the picture loosened until it fell from his hand and floated down to the floor beneath the table. His Mom had died when he was so young that he could barely remember her anymore. After her own Mom had died, he had shared stories with her. He had been able to connect with her because he knew the same pain. They had been each other's solace._

 _Colby wiped away a stray tear before he continued, his voice gravely. "I felt like every time Dad looked at me that he was blaming me. I know, now, that was all in my head. But, I thought that he blamed me. I thought you blamed me. You were so young and you used to cry out for her in your sleep. I just… I couldn't handle it anymore. So, I left. I went to our estranged Uncle until I found a job in a nearby city a year later. I tried to forget about it all and I did, until I met Sarah." His face lit up with a soft smile. "She made me remember who I was. She wouldn't let me forget. She told me that I had to come back and apologize. When she… When she got pregnant with Lily everything changed and I suddenly knew what a horrible thing I had done. So, I'm back. I know I can't really make up for the years of hurt that I caused. But, I want to try. I want Lily to know her Uncle and Grandpa."_

 _Silence fell upon them as they soaked up all of the newfound information. Blaise's grip on her pulsed as his emotions flared within him. Stella's heart seized up. She couldn't even fathom what he was experiencing right now._

 _"_ _Okay." He stated._

 _Colby's eyebrows rose. "Okay?"_

 _Blaise nodded, stiff and firm. "Okay." He sighed and finally lifted his head to look at his estranged brother. "Okay, but you have to tell Dad."_

 _"_ _I was actually going to go there first, I just stopped in here for a milkshake and ran into you. Fate can be funny like that."_

 _Blaise guffawed. "Fate, huh?"_

 _Stella's lips pressed into a firm, thin line before she leaned down and reached her hand beneath the table and grabbed the forgotten picture of baby Lily. Gently, she handed it back to Blaise who gazed at the picture for a long, lingering moment before he handed it back to Colby. Colby shook his head and pushed the picture away, silently insisting that Blaise keep the picture of his niece._

 _"_ _Sarah and I are staying at a hotel downtown. She has Lily there. When you and Dad are ready, if you want to, I'd like for you to meet them."_

 _Blaise gulped and his grip on her trembled before he managed to answer. "I'd like that."_

 _"_ _Well, I better head to Dad's." Colby stood up._

 _"_ _I better go with you. I don't want Dad to have a heart attack."_

 _Colby nodded and began heading towards the door before Blaise motioned towards him, signaling that he would be there in a moment. He turned his eyes back onto her and she froze. He was only mere inches away from her and the rest of the ice cream parlor faded into the background. Slowly, his grip on her loosened before he gently pulled his hand away, his fingers leaving hot trails against her skin._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, about all that."_

 _She shook her head, biting her lip as he leaned in a bit closer to her. The space between them, modeled by his turbulent feelings from earlier, shifted and became hot. "It's okay._

 _"_ _But, to be honest, I'm glad that you were there. I…" He gulped, leveling her with a heated look. "I needed you there. You're the only reason I didn't completely cave his face in."_

 _Stella laughed softly, the sound bell-like. He smiled and gently tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "You wouldn't have done that."_

 _"_ _I so would have." He waggled his eyebrows, breaking the romantic atmosphere as he leaned away from her, putting more space between them than she wanted. "Can I come by later? I'll signal you in the usual way."_

 _She nodded numbly and his hand fell from behind her ear. With one last look, he slid off of the seat and hurried towards his brother. She watched them go, analyzing the tension that laced both of their shoulders, before they vanished outside._

 _She pressed a hand to her chest and felt the way that her heart was beating out of control. He wanted to see her tonight? A soft blush highlighted her cheeks as she sucked in her bottom lip, chewing it softly, as she wondered what he wanted._

 _Excitement pooled in her gut as nerves flooded her system._

 _She couldn't wait for the hours to tick by so she could see his face again._

 _Shit, she never realized what a hopeless romantic she was before._

Lucy gazed at her writing as she leaned back in her hospital bed. The words swam before her eyes and she pushed away the tears. She wanted to finish her story, but time was running out. She felt like she was rushing everything, trying to speed towards an ending that didn't feel completely natural. Still, she pushed forward, desperately trying to finish her piece of work. She wanted to leave something behind, something that she had made. She knew, logically, that her first book was already out there. Yet, she felt a twang of guilt in her heart for not finishing Stella and Blaise's romance. Her pencil fell down onto the bed beside her before it rolled off and clattered onto the linoleum floor below. With a sigh, she turned to look at her slumbering protector.

Natsu…

For the last several days he hadn't left her side. If he wasn't cuddled up beside her on the bed, he was in the uncomfortable armchair beside it. At the moment, he was sound asleep, his head leaned back, mouth open, as snores escaped his lips. She couldn't help but smile as she watched him. She was glad that he was finally getting some rest. While she couldn't prove it, she was pretty sure that he hadn't been sleeping much, if at all, since they had checked her in.

Her hands clenched her journal as she fought off a sudden wave of pain. With narrowed eyes, she looked down at her arm. The sinewy black lines had crawled all the way up it now and were reaching for her heart. Each breath felt like fire. Her lungs ached. She was sick of this. She was sick of the pain. She was sick of the torture. She was sick of seeing the way her friends looked at her…

Throughout each passing day, a constant trickle of her guild members had come to see her. None of them mentioned a permanent goodbye, but she could see it in their eyes. They tried to laugh and play it cool, but it was never genuine. She felt more and more exhausted after each person left. She was becoming more tired as time went on. Staying awake was becoming difficult. In her sleep, she didn't feel the pain from her illness, she only felt at peace.

A sudden surge of pain up her arm made her wince and she quickly bit her tongue to try to stop from crying out. With worried eyes, she looked back at Natsu. His snoring stopped for a moment before it started up again. With a roll of her eyes she sighed in relief. She let her eyes slowly drag over his figure, soaking in every inch of him. Memories of his kisses danced upon her skin, making her feel alive and helping her to ignore the pain. She was tempted to ask for more pain medication, but she really didn't want to up the dosage again. They had already increased it just two days ago. For some reason, the thought of increasing it again, and letting everyone know just how bad the pain was, really bothered her.

She didn't want them to think that she was suffering. It was bad enough that she was going to die, she didn't want them to be tormented by the thought that she was in everlasting pain until her dying breath. It was better if they lived in ignorance.

Her gaze moved towards the door to her room and her mind wandered back to all of the guild members that she had seen pass through it. Almost everyone had come to see her by now…

Everyone except for Levy and Gajeel.

From what information she had been able to worm out of the others, Levy was currently living out of the library. She barely slept. All day long, her face was shoved in book after book as she ordered other members around the library. She had even sent some to nearby cities in search of long forgotten texts. Lucy cringed. She hated that Levy was suffering because of her.

But, what she hated even more, was the guilt that she could see on Natsu's face for not joining everyone else in their desperate hunt.

It was clear that he wanted to be there doing something active to save her. But, he couldn't seem to drag himself away from her. She had told him that it was okay to step outside, that she knew that he would be right back, but she could see the fear that lingered in his eyes. He was scared that if he left, by the time that he came back, she would already be gone. He didn't want to miss a single moment by her side. She could see how he was falling apart. Dark bags hung underneath his eyes and he looked utterly exhausted. Every time the black markings inched their way upwards he would visibly wince. He would cover her neck in searing kisses and hold her tightly throughout the night, whispering to her words that she had always longed to hear.

As each minute ticked by, she was very aware of the clock on her life. Every moment felt calculated and filled with pressure. She felt pressure to make every word count, to make every action say a million things. She didn't want to leave them. She didn't want to leave him. But, she wasn't being given another option.

She fought off another sudden wave of exhaustion that floated through her system. Her eyes drooped and she bit the inside of her cheek, begging herself to stay awake. Sleep came too often, stealing what was left of her precious moments with the ones that she loved. Blood trickled over her tongue, making her wince at its iron taste. Natsu shifted in his chair and his nose crinkled. She held her breath as he squirmed in his seat. His hands tightened around the armrests and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Luce…" He muttered through pinched lips. "No… Luce…"

Lucy's breath hitched. He was having a nightmare. She closed her journal and set it aside so that she could lean over and lay her hand on top of his knee. Within seconds, his body relaxed and his face fell back into one of peaceful slumber.

Her heart clenched.

She hated the pain that she knew she was putting him through. She hated the fear that clung to his body. She hated the way that she invaded his dreams, turning them into nightmares.

She yawned and her jaw popped. Her entire body grew heavy and weak. She felt as if she was sinking into the ocean, falling into its murky and mysterious depths. She laid her head down and curled up on her side, watching the way his chest rose and fell as her eyes slowly drifted shut.

She loved him, so damn much it hurt.

As she fell asleep he invaded her dreams, holding her, loving her, until her final breath.

* * *

Natsu shot up. Drool dribbled down his chin and he wiped at it, pushing it away angrily. Anxiety tore up his heart until he leaned forward and heard the sound of Lucy's breathing. With a heavy sigh, he leaned back into his chair.

She was still here. She was still alive.

Everyday, the reality of her disease would crush him a bit more. He hated falling asleep. Fear gripped his heart. He was so scared that one day he would wake up and she…

She simply wouldn't be there anymore.

His breathing came short and ragged. His hands gripped the armrests, digging into them and denting the wood, as he tried to calm himself. He felt like his world was coming to an end. Everything was tumbling down around him, breaking and shattering as time ticked on. As each day passed, he watched as she faded. He could see that she was fighting to stay awake. Sleep claimed her, more often than not, and he had barely gotten to even hear her voice in the last day.

His eyes widened when he noticed her journal beside her on the bed. Curious, he leaned forward and picked it up. He opened it to the first page and ran his fingers lovingly over her handwritten words. He glanced up once more at her sleeping form before his eyes traveled back to the journal. Greedily, he sucked in every word. His heart pounded as he read Stella and Blaise's story, noting the similarities to his and Lucy's relationship. Pain gripped his heart when he read about Blaise disappearing and leaving Stella behind, reminding him of what he had put Lucy through not once, but twice.

He hated his decisions.

He wished that he could turn back the clock and do everything different. He wished that he had never left her the second time around. He wished that he had explained why he needed to leave after Igneel had died. He knew that, in part, she understood. But, still, he should have told her face-to-face.

He read until he finished the story and then he read it again. He listened to Lucy's slow and steady breathing. He drew in the smell of her scent, relishing in it while he still could. He clung to her words like a lifeline as he finished the story the second time. "It's not finished…" He whispered, before he gently closed the journal and set it aside. He leaned forward and lovingly ran his fingers down her face. He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead noting that she had a slight fever.

Lucy…

He sucked in a deep breath before he stood up on shaky legs. He turned and walked out of the door and quickly sought out a nurse, informing her about Lucy's small fever. The nurse simply nodded before disappearing down the hallway to get what she needed. In the hallway, the buzz of the hospital surrounded him. He took a step back and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and listened to the racket for a long moment before he could work up the strength to go back into Lucy's hospital room. He didn't want to be gone long, but he needed this. He needed this small moment to re-center himself. Guilt flooded his chest as he was once again faced with the reality that everything that was happening right now was all his fault. It was his fault that Lucy was sick.

It was all his damn fault.

He pounded the back of his fist against the wall, careful to not break the thin plaster surface. He had been close to breaking down for days now. Everything grated on his nerves. He wanted to fight something, anything, to vent his anger on the world.

Still, all of that, his guilt and his anger, could wait until…

He shuddered.

Until Lucy was gone.

"What are you doing?" Erza's voice rattled him from his stupor, shaking him from his thoughts.

He pushed away from the wall to meet her gaze. "Lucy has a fever. I had to tell a nurse."

Erza's eyes opened slightly and her mouth popped open. "Oh." He watched as recognition dawned across her face and her proud posture slumped. "I see. How bad is she?"

Natsu's jaw clenched. "She's tired. A lot." He couldn't seem to say more. The words wouldn't come out of his mouth. Erza watched him, analyzing his every move.

"She's going to be okay. The whole guild is searching for a cure."

Natsu's fists clenched and he looked away from the vibrant redhead. He wanted to hope, but hope was currently crushing his soul. He froze as a firm hand was placed on his shoulder. When he looked up, he saw Erza's thin-pressed lips and solemn face.

"We will make it through this. Just have hope."

Natsu scoffed and stepped away from her, earning her wrath.

"Stop acting like you're the only one who's hurting." Her voice was like a million knifes stabbing into his soul. His eyes widened and he took a small step away from her. "We are all hurting. She is our friend. She is our family! I, in the least, will have hope until the moment that she dies." She spit the words out like venom and they burned him.

"I know all of that."

"Do you? Do you really? Then why do you hog her? Why do you push us all away?" With every word that Erza spoke, Natsu felt more and more crowded, like his life was being squeezed from him.

"Why?" He snapped, finally unable to take another word. "You know why! I love her and I'm going to lose her. I'm about to fucking lose her and it's all my damn fault!" His rage built up within him and he couldn't contain his boiling anger. Flames tickled his fists, begging to be released. "It's my burden to bear."

"Don't be ignorant." Erza's eyes lit up as she challenged him. A vague memory of her beatings echoed through his mind, but he ignored them.

"You don't know the whole truth. You don't know what happened. It is my fault." His fire flickered out and he deflated, falling back against the wall dejected and crushed by his despair. "It's all my fault…"

"Stop it." Erza's fist came down on his head, forcing his body into the floor below with a resounding thud. Nurses scattered. As soon as she let him up, he clambered to his feet, rubbing the back of his head as he did so.

"What was that for?"

Erza smirked. "To get you out of your head. We can fight about who's fault this is or isn't afterward. For now, you need to be there for Lucy. You need to stop pushing us all away. We are your friends and we are here for both of you, you got that?" Her voice didn't leave room for argument.

Numbly, Natsu nodded. He tried to believe what she said, but guilt still ravaged him. He didn't want to let anyone in. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He didn't want to confide his feelings in anyone. He wanted to stew in his guilt and he knew that he would never escape its deafening confines once Lucy died…

He trembled and Erza, once again, placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's all going to be okay, Natsu. Just have hope."

"I'll try."

Erza seemed to accept his feeble response because she nodded and let go of him. She took a few steps towards Lucy's door and reached out her hand, as if to grab the doorknob, before it fell back down to her side and she stilled. "I'm going to head back to the library now and keep looking for a cure. You… You stay here with her. She shouldn't be alone."

"I'd never leave her." His words were soft and filled with the love he held within his heart. Erza looked up at him and nodded once before she spun on her heel and darted down the hallway. As soon as she was gone, there was a noticeable sigh of relief from the nurses as they returned to their work.

With a deep breath, he headed back into her room. Just as he sat back down in the chair beside her bed, Hikaru entered. The doctor stood anxiously by his side for a moment before he spoke.

"I heard that she has a fever."

Natsu nodded and reached for her hand. He held it in both of his, cherishing the slight warmth of her skin. "Yea…"

"She's sleeping most of the time now." Hikaru stated as he rifled through her folder. With a heavy sigh, he looked away from his notes and met Natsu's gaze head on. "It won't be long now."

Natsu's grip on her tightened slightly. "I know."

"I'm still hoping for a miracle. But, realistically…"

"Realistically, she will be gone soon." Natsu finished for him, hating each word that he spoke.

"Yes." Hikaru sighed. "Yes, she will be gone soon. Try to make your remaining time with her count. Tell her everything that you need to. Don't hold back anything. That's…" He gulped and his grip on Lucy's medical file tightened until his knuckles turned white. "That's the one thing that I regret. When my wife died… I didn't get to tell her everything. There were things left unsaid. Things that I regret not saying to this day. So, just make sure you tell her everything that you need to say and say everything that she needs to hear."

Natsu watched the pain that engulfed Hikaru's face and knew, in that instant, that Hikaru understood the agony that he was in. "I understand." Hikaru turned to leave, but Natsu's following words stopped him seconds before he reached the door. "Thank you, for everything you've done."

"I wish I could have done more." Hikaru stated before he pushed open the door and disappeared back into the hallway.

Natsu's gaze lovingly fell on Lucy's face, soaking in every small detail. "I wish I could have too…"

* * *

Lucy awoke, groggy and momentarily unsure of her surroundings. She reached out for Natsu, mumbling his name, until she felt him capture her hand. With a sigh, she forced her eyes open and smiled as soon as his salmon-colored hair came into view.

"Hey…" She said. The words came out faint and lacking of all energy. Her voice sounded dry and crackly.

"Hey." He smiled and leaned closer to her, nearly resting half of his body on the bed. With his free hand, he pushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She managed to say. She felt uncomfortably hot and she was instantly aware of the pain in her arm. This time, she didn't even bother to glance down at it. She already knew what sight awaited her there. "I missed you…"

He smiled and it lit up her world, fueling her with a modicum of energy. "I missed you too, sleepy head." He reached forward and ruffled her hair, making her laugh as she tried to shoo him away. Her laughter halted when she realized that her body wasn't moving how she wanted it to. She had wanted to fling her arms up and playfully wrestle with his. But, instead, all they did was flop feebly. Fear gripped her heart. Was she really that weak?

"Natsu?" Worry clung to her words, alarming him to her sudden distress.

"What is it?"

"I can't…" She tried to reach up to touch his hair, but her arms barely moved. "I can't move my arms…"

"What?" He pushed back from her as she once again tried to reach for him. She watched as a deep worry seeped into his features, wrinkling his eyes and pursing his lips. "I'll go get the doctor…"

"No!" Her voice broke. It shattered around them and he stilled, instantly lowering himself back into his seat. "Please, no. Don't go. Don't leave me."

Natsu's face softened and he leaned forward once more to press a soft kiss against her forehead. She sighed into his touch. "I'll never leave you, Luce."

"Good." She smirked before a wave of seriousness fell over her. "Now, I need a favor."

"Anything." He nodded, eager to help her.

"I need you to get my keys. They're on the dresser. Please, put Loke's key in my hand. I haven't had enough energy for him to appear on his own, but I… I need to at least tell one of them goodbye."

Natsu stiffened. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Her eyes narrowed and she felt a rare wave of anger rush up through her. "I need to tell them goodbye."

"It'll take too much of your energy…"

Lucy shook her head. "I don't care. This is important to me. It's something that I need to do."

Natsu watched her for a long moment before he stood up and walked around the bed to get her keys. Hesitantly, he took out Leo the Lion's key and handed it to her. She smiled and ran her fingers over the golden key, relishing in its familiarity. Using all of the strength that she could muster up, she summed Loke. He appeared by the foot of her bed, his face solemn.

"You used too much energy doing that, Lucy." Loke gently chastised as he moved to her side. Natsu stood silently beside her, gently taking the key back from her before rejoining it with the others in her possession.

Lucy smirked, happy to see him after so long. "I'm sorry… But, I couldn't call the others."

Loke shook his head, silencing her. "Don't worry about it. We know. We understand."

"You've all been watching over me. I felt it… That day…"

Loke grimaced before a thin smile spread across his face. "Yes, we did our best to protect you."

"No one can protect me anymore."

Loke shuddered and his hands curled into fists. "We will still try."

Lucy smiled and her heart warmed. She loved her celestial spirits. They meant so much to her. They had been her link to her mother and her past. They had been her strength and her friends. They were like family. "I know you will."

Loke knelt beside the bed, clasping her hands in his own. "We all love you. They wanted me to tell you that." His lips trembled and Lucy couldn't stop her own tears from beginning to fall. With the little bit of strength that she had, she squeezed his hand.

"Please… Please tell them that I love them and that I'm sorry." Her voice trembled. Natsu placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, helping to calm the pain that was raging inside of her.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. Don't worry about us. We will be there, in the stars, protecting you."

"Thank you. Thank you for everything that you have done for me. Please, thank them all for me for all of the help they have given. Thank you, for being my friends."

"Of course, Lucy. We are… We are so grateful that you have our keys. You are more than just a contractor to us, you are our friend. You are our family. We will always love you." Loke let go of her and stepped back, his eyes holding onto hers the entire time. "Now, I better go before I use up any more of your precious energy." He sucked in a deep breath and tears poured down her face. "Goodbye, Lucy."

Her fingers trembled and curled into the stiff sheets of her hospital bed. "Goodbye, Loke…"

With that, Loke vanished back into the celestial world. As soon as he was gone pain ripped through her chest.

Grief.

Tears poured from her face and Natsu quickly clambered into bed beside her. He held her tightly as the tears continued to fall. He held her until the tears stopped. He held her until she stopped trembling. He held her until she finally managed to smile up at him, her eyes drooping as exhaustion once again overcame her. He pushed her hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss her. His lips were soft and sweet, full of love and need.

With that one kiss, he said more than a million words.

With that one kiss, she knew all that he was thinking.

She put all of her love into that one, tender moment.

As soon as their lips parted, she felt the darkness pushing in around her.

She didn't have long now and this time she wasn't sure if she would wake up. Five days had already passed. She only had two days, at most, left. This could be the last time that she was awake. This could be the last chance that she would have to look at his face.

She leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "I love you, Natsu."

"I love you… I love you so much, Luce." His hand trembled on her waist, making her whimper.

"I will always love you. Even when I'm not here…"

He squeezed her lightly. "Sh, don't say things like that."

She shook her head slightly and finally opened her eyes. She stared into his and memorized every facet of them. Up close like this, she could see the different shades in his eyes. They reflected his emotions and she loved that about him. "It's the truth, though. I wish that things were different… I need you to know, Natsu, that I love you so much. I need you to know that I wish we had all the time in the world to be together. I need you to know how desperately I wanted a future with you…"

"I know, Luce. I want all of those things. I want to be with you, always."

Her lips trembled and she pressed a shaky kiss against his own before continuing. "When I'm gone… I want you to be happy."

He growled.

"Don't be like that." She chided. "Don't be sad forever. I'd hate that, okay?"

He didn't answer.

"Natsu…" She absorbed the sight of him once more before she closed her heavy eyes. She knew that she would never be able to open them again, never be able to see his face again. A solitary tear crawled down her cheek and she felt him kiss it away. "Tell me a story."

"What kind of story?" He cradled her against him, holding her as tightly as he dared.

"A happy one…" Her voice trailed off. Her body became numb as random jolts of pain darted up her arm.

"Once upon a time, there was a stubborn, beautiful, blonde celestial wizard wandering around a town called Hargeon…"

She smiled faintly. "I think I know this story."

He nodded and pressed a kiss against her hair. "She fell into the spell of a pathetic villain until she saw a dashing dragon-slayer who rescued her…" His deep voice filled her with peacefulness as she listened to their story until her mind went blank and she finally succumbed to the darkness that haunted her.

* * *

Natsu hated time. She had been asleep for over a day now with no signs of waking. Still, he never left her bedside. His hope flickered out, dying within him when she refused to awaken. He clung to her every breath, his despair growing every time that her breathing stuttered. Guild members filtered in, never staying for long, except for Gray. The rest were all at Levy's beck and call. Erza helped her to command the troops in the library as they continued to search for a miracle cure.

He wished that he could have faith like them.

Hikaru had told him that it would only be a matter of time now. Every minute that she continued to breathe was a luxury.

The door creaked open and he turned around to spy a bedraggled Levy leaning against the doorframe. Dark bags hung beneath her eyes and her hair was tangled into knots. She looked horrible, even worse than him if that was possible. She clutched three gigantic, worn leather books in her arms.

"Levy?" He abruptly stood up and headed towards her to catch her in case she fell. She smiled at him and pushed off of the doorframe, heading towards Lucy's bed. Natsu stayed close to her, making sure that she didn't fall, until he could settle her in the chair that he had once occupied. The door squeaked open again and Natsu spied Gajeel. Within his burly arms he held both of their slumbering twins. They were so small… For a moment, Natsu couldn't peel his eyes off of their slumbering faces. When he could finally look away from them, he noticed Gajeel's exasperated expression.

"Hey." Gajeel grunted as he carefully adjusted his hold on the twins. "Think you could help me out here?" Natsu's eyes flicked over to Lucy's slumbering face before he nodded. "Here, hold Ryu, he's the quieter one." Very carefully, Gajeel transferred the slumbering newborn into Natsu's waiting arms. As soon as the little one was safely cradled within his embrace, Natsu felt a wave of love and grief wash over him.

The feeling was astounding… Little Ryu was amazing. The emotions that rushed through him were indescribable and it wasn't even his child… He looked up at Gajeel to see a knowing look in his eyes and he had to look away.

This was something that he would never have.

He knew that Lucy wanted him to find happiness later on… But, he couldn't do that. He would never be able to do that.

"I'm not too late…" Levy sighed in relief. Natsu's eyebrows rose and he peeked over at her. She was staring in amazement at her best friend, her hands tightly gripping her books.

"She's asleep. She's been asleep for a whole day. You're too late to say goodbye." His words were sharp and the baby in his arms squirmed. With wide eyes, he looked down at the child and gently bounced Ryu until he quieted.

Levy shook her head, still not looking at him. "No… You don't understand."

"What don't I understand?" Natsu quipped while trying to keep his voice as level as possible.

"She found it." Gajeel bluntly stated.

Natsu froze and his entire body went numb.

"What?" He barely managed to even whisper the words. He could feel hope flickering back to life within his chest and it hurt.

"I found it…" Levy stated, her voice firm and unyielding. "I found a way to save her."

If Natsu wasn't holding Ryu he was sure that he would have fainted.

"I had to decipher it from a barely known language called Cariphyus, but the translated passages were coded. So, from there I had to decode the passages using some of Zeref's remaining writing. It was hard to find. The few remaining texts in existence were scattered everywhere. Even then, I almost didn't figure it out until I saw an engraving of an anemone on the cover. With a closer look in an accompanying text, I found a faded painting of a purple anemone and the whole code suddenly made sense. I figured it out…" Levy looked away from Lucy and lowered the books onto her lap. With trembling fingers, she picked up a piece of paper that had her handwriting scrawled across it. "Here." She held it out towards him. "Take it. It's… It's her only hope." Natsu stepped towards her and she held her arms out to accept Ryu. Gently, he passed the precious infant to her and took the piece of paper in return. He stared numbly at the words that were written there.

"Will it really work?" He felt like his throat was closing in on him as hope surged through him, choking him.

"I hope so." Came Levy's solemn reply.

"Go." Gajeel grunted, jerking his head towards the door. "Hurry up, we don't know how long we have. It might already be too late for it to do any good."

Natsu's body moved of its own accord. He bolted towards the door and sprinted towards Hikaru's office. This was it. This was their chance and he would grab hold of it with all that he had.

It didn't take long before nurses were rushing around at Hikaru's urgent command. Within hours, a purplish liquid was hooked up to Lucy's IV. It dripped into her, containing all of the hope that they had left. Levy, Gajeel, and the twins had taken up residency in the far corner of the room as they waited. Natsu stayed by Lucy's side, holding her hand, as he waited with baited breath for a sign, any sign, that she was improving.

After day six had passed and they inched their way into day seven of her stay in the hospital, Hikaru told him that if she awoke within the next few hours that she would probably live. If not, well then they had been too late.

Natsu couldn't bear that thought.

They had finally been given some hope and he would cling to it until the day was over. He watched her every breath, silently begging her to wake up.

There were a few hours left. She could wake up. There was still a chance.

As time ticked by more and more guild members showed up. They stayed crowded in the hallway, unwilling to leave. The only ones who dared to join them in Lucy's room were their team members. Erza leaned against the wall beside Levy, her eyes glued to the babbling babies. Gray, along with Juvia, sat vigil beside the other side of Lucy's bed. Gray's face was etched with grief and guilt, similar to Natsu's own expression. When Natsu dared to look away from Lucy's face, his eyes would meet Gray's in an understanding dance. Gray, after all, was the only one who could even remotely comprehend the emotions that ravaged Natsu's heart. Gray understood the guilt that haunted him.

As the hours ticked by his hope began to stab at him. He watched as worry creeped into everyone's faces. Levy's eyes were wide with fear as she obviously worried that she had been too late. Gajeel gently rubbed the back of her head as he tried to calm her down, but it didn't work.

Natsu jerked his gaze away from them and looked back at Lucy. He loved her. He loved her so damn much and that would never change. He gripped her hands tighter and leaned closer to her. Her face was flushed and sweat dotted her forehead. He let go of her and reached for a cooled cloth and gently dabbed it against her forehead. She moaned.

Instantly, he froze as did Gray. Their eyes clashed together and everyone in the room stilled.

That was the first time that she had uttered a single sound since she had fallen asleep.

His heart fluttered in his chest as he leaned even closer to her. He re-wetted the cloth and once again pressed it against her forehead.

Her eyes pinched shut.

He gasped, the sound sharp and jarring. Instantly, everyone in the room was alert and crowding around the bed. Each of them held their breath as they waited. They hung on her every minuscule movement.

Please…

Natsu's heart begged.

Please, please, please…

At that moment, everything changed. Her breathing stilled and for one long, excruciatingly painful moment, he thought that she had left him.

Then, she opened her eyes.

~ Author's Note ~

Well, what do you think? This chapter was extra long. I didn't want to break it up into two chapters because I want the next, and final, chapter to serve as an epilogue. I hope that you enjoyed it. I just couldn't kill Lucy off this time since I wrote a short story about that before called _Death of a Fairy_. So, I hope you don't think the cure was too sudden (since I did hint about it in the previous chapter).

Thank you so much to all of my reviewers. Your words mean the world to me. Let me know what you think!

~ FeudalAi


	15. Epilogue

Lucy ran her fingers over the spines of the five novels that she had written. Her eyes scanned their titles as memories infiltrated her mind. She smiled as her fingertips rested upon the second book. Carefully, she removed it from the shelf and flipped it over to gaze at the cover. The title, _Sunrise Park_ , was written in beautiful calligraphy in a dark, golden font. An image, silhouetted by the rising sun, of Stella and Blaise holding hands on a swing set greeted her eager eyes.

She had finished it.

She opened the book and flipped to the beginning of chapter seven. It was the first chapter that she had written after awaking in the hospital five years ago. Her eyes scanned the published words, loving how her imagination looked in print.

 _The sound of pebbles hitting her window sent a bolt of electricity down her spine. Her heart beat out of control as she sped to her second-story window. Slowly, so that the window wouldn't creak, she opened it and leaned her head out. She waved to Blaise who smiled before he stepped back into the cover of the trees. She shut her window and slipped on her bunny-eared slippers before she carefully plodded down the ancient, squeaky staircase and out the sliding glass door. The night air bit into her skin, making her wrap her arms around herself as she fought off the cold. Still, as soon as she stepped through the tree line and saw his face her entire body heated up. Her cheeks flushed as he walked up to her, stopping only a mere foot away._

 _"_ _How'd it go?" She questioned. His eyes flashed as he met her gaze._

 _"_ _My Dad nearly fainted. It took hours of talking and yelling before he kind of calmed down." He bounced on his heels, exuding adrenaline._

 _Stella smiled, she couldn't help it when she saw his face all full of emotion and energy like that. "I'm glad. Really…"_

 _His exuberant smile fell slightly and he stepped forward, grabbing each of her hands with one of his. "We're going to go see Sarah and Lily tomorrow. I'm… Kinda nervous about it." He laughed anxiously as he pulled her closer to him. Their stomachs bumped together and heat pooled in her gut._

 _What was he doing?_

 _"_ _Blaise?" She questioned as her eyes searched his face. He was having a hard time meeting her gaze._

 _"_ _You know… I never should have disappeared on you before. I don't know if I could have made it through all of this without you… Seeing Colby again… If you hadn't been there I might have done something really stupid." He laughed again and her heart danced within her chest. She didn't know what was happening right now, all she knew was that she loved how close they were. "You're important to me."_

 _She pushed back from him slightly, hating the small amount of distance that she put between them. "I'm important to you?"_

 _He nodded and clenched his hands into tight fists. "Yea… You're important to me. You were too important… I was scared that if I showed you… Well, I was scared that I'd completely lose you."_

 _She quirked her head, not understanding what he was saying. "Showed me what?"_

 _He took a deep breath before he placed a hand on his chest. "This." Now she was even more confused. An adorable smirk spread across his face and he stepped closer to her again. He reached up and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her breath hitched. "Colby is back and now I… I suddenly feel free. I don't understand why, but I'm not scared anymore." He drew in a long, shaky breath before he continued. "I don't want to lose you and if you don't feel the same then I pray that we can still be friends… I just… I can't hold it in any longer."_

 _Stella felt like she might faint. Her mind spun as she tried to understand what was happening right now. She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to hope that the sparkle she saw in his eyes was meant for her. "Can't hold what in?"_

 _His eyes momentarily flicked down to her lips before they darted back up to meet her gaze. Her heart sped out of control, making her pupils enlarge. He gripped her arms and leaned forward. "This."_

 _Then, his lips were on hers and her whole world shifted._

 _Little did they know that this was only the beginning of their story._

Warmth spread through Lucy's chest as she idly flipped through the rest of the pages of the book. With a happy sigh, she slid it back onto her overly-stuffed bookshelf. The sound of movement behind her made her turn and a waft of paint hit her nose. Hikaru's daughter sat at Lucy's writing desk. The now teenaged Taki Oberon had short-cropped purple hair and green eyes. Her face was lit up with a gigantic smile as she stared down at her work of art. Lucy walked over to stand behind the young girl. She had taken to mentoring her ever since she had gotten out of the hospital. Taki reminded her of the power of writing. Every time that she saw her, she felt a wave of amazement that her writing had helped Taki after the death of her mother.

Stories had a way of saving people.

She leaned over and stared at the acrylic work of art. Taki had a knack for drawing. Her eyes widened when she saw the carefully crafted painting. "That's Stella and Blaise…"

"Yep." Taki said, popping the 'p'.

Lucy leaned back and placed a hand on her hip. "I would have thought that your favorite scene would be when they kissed for the first time."

Taki shook her head and stood up, leaving the painting on the desk. "That's too typical. I always loved the moment that Stella realized her feelings for Blaise at the ice cream parlor the most." They both looked down at the painting once more to spy that very scene elegantly displayed. "You keep that one… I made it for you."

"Thanks, Taki."

Taki smiled up at her, big and infectious, before she skipped towards the door of the study. She pushed it open, tossing her short hair to the side. "I'm gonna go help the others get ready for the party, see ya downstairs!" She nearly sang the words before she disappeared out the door and down the flight of stairs.

Only moments later, Natsu popped his head through the door. As soon as he saw her his entire face lit up. He scurried over to her, his eyes quickly taking in the new painting, before he placed a hand on the small of her back, supporting her. She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder as her hand came up to rub her swollen stomach.

"Don't overdue it…" He gently chastised as he leaned down, pressing a kiss against the top of her head.

She gently elbowed him in the side. "I'm fine. This isn't the first time I've done this ya know."

He laughed, the sound sweet and smooth like honey. It coated her, making her entire body feel alive. "Yea, yea… That won't stop me from worrying about you."

She leaned her head back and pressed a lingering kiss against his lips.

Just then, the door to the study burst open and a salmon-haired little girl ran forward and wrapped her small arms around Natsu's leg. "Daddy!"

Natsu laughed and unraveled himself from Lucy before he crouched down. "Yes, Nashi?"

She folded her hands in front of her, her eyes large and pleading. "Can I have a ride? Please?"

Natsu looked over his shoulder at Lucy and laughed before he held out his arms to his baby girl. "Of course you can." She smiled, ecstatic, as he hoisted her up onto his shoulder. "Watch your head." He gently reminded her. Nashi's small hands gripped his hair as she laughed. She swung her legs back and forth, her little heels gently colliding with his muscled chest.

Lucy couldn't help but smile. She reached forward and gently tickled one of Nashi's bare feet, making her little girl squeal in delight. Natsu winced as the noise barraged his ears, but he laughed all the same. "And how old is the birthday girl today?" Lucy questioned as she continued to rub small circles on top of her belly. The little one inside of her was currently doing summersaults, assaulting her bladder in the process. Natsu, once again, placed his hand against the small of her back and pulled her closer to him.

A toothy grin spread across Nashi's face and she leaned forward, holding her fingers out for them to see. "I'm four!"

"That's exactly right baby girl." Natsu bounced Nashi on his shoulder, making her hold onto his hair a bit tighter as she giggled.

This was her family.

Lucy's heart warmed as memories from her dark days stuck in that hospital bed flickered through the back of her mind. She had been so sure that she would die… She had been so sure that none of this would be a possibility for her…

Yet, here she was, surrounded by her growing family.

"Come on…" She grabbed Natsu's hand and gently pulled him towards the door. "It's about time that we joined everyone downstairs."

As soon as they were half way down the staircase, Lucy could hear the boisterous crowd below. Nashi bounced excitedly on Natsu's shoulder until they descended the last step. She squirmed, trying to wriggle her way down. Natsu laughed and bent down so that she could leap to the ground. Just like that, she was off and away. She rushed towards the blue-haired twins and wrapped them in a hug, squishing them together. Natsu hurried forward and vanished into the adjacent playroom to grab the superfluous amount of carefully wrapped presents.

Lucy, instead, simply leaned against the wall and took in the sight before her.

In the five years since she had nearly died, everything had changed. The twins grew at lightening speed, causing havoc for their parents who had lovingly nicknamed them the 'trouble twins'. Levy and Gajeel had married shortly after Gray and Juvia, but before Natsu had worked up the nerve to ask her the all important question. Now, Juvia sat in the far corner, burping their second son. Gray, meanwhile, kept a watchful eye on their other son, Yukio, who was only a mere two months older than Nashi. He had Gray's hair and Juvia's eyes. Currently, he stood protectively beside the happy birthday girl. Lucy watched with a small giggle as Nashi grabbed Yukio's hand and yanked him towards where Natsu had just appeared carrying a heaping pile of presents. Erza laughed as the presents tumbled from Natsu's grip, drawing Lucy's attention to the happy redhead's face. Erza and Jellal stood off to the side and her hand danced over her own, small bump. She was only a few into her first pregnancy and Jellal had become extremely overprotective.

Lucy loved it all.

She loved that she got to see her friends' lives change. She loved that she got to witness each of the babies being born and see them grow.

She was lucky and she knew it.

Her eyes traveled to Levy only to spot her friend hurrying over to her. Levy leaned against the wall beside her, a knowing look lighting up her face. "It still feels like a dream…" Lucy whispered. Her hands gently rubbed her swollen stomach as she tried to ground herself in reality.

"But it isn't." Levy calmly stated as she looked out towards the children. The twins were currently chasing Yukio around and trying to lick him while Gajeel valiantly attempted to stop them on their warpath. Levy giggled, the sound joyful.

"You've got your hands full with those two." Lucy laughed as Gajeel snagged Rin. Rin, in retaliation, licked his face.

"You've got that right." Levy laughed as she pushed away from the wall, heading towards Gajeel to help. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Lucy's gaze wandered over to Natsu only to find him trying to corral an over-eager Nashi and protective Yukio as they attempted to ambush the pile of wrapped gifts. The baby in her belly kicked hard and she rubbed the sore spot, suddenly overcome with the need to pee. She shook her head and couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. "I wouldn't either."

~ Author's Note ~

Yukio means Snow boy.

And that's all folks! I really hope that you enjoyed the journey as much as I did. I actually printed this entire story off and with 1.5 line spacing, twelve point font, and no author's notes it came to 219 pages. That's basically the length of an entire book! I feel like a congratulations is in order for all of us, writer and readers, for finishing this.

I really hope that you liked how it ended. I know that it was quite a large time jump, but I really wanted to give you a glimpse into their lives at that point in time.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Please, review the epilogue and let me know your thoughts.

Also, if you like my writing please put an author alert on me so you are informed when a new story is posted. I'm not sure what I'm going to work on next. If I can get passed my writer's block, I'd like to work on _The Inevitable_ (an _Inuyasha_ FanFiction). But, a new _Fairy Tail_ FanFiction idea recently popped into my head. I'm thinking about placing it in today's world within a yet-to-be-determined USA city.

Once again, thank you for all of your support! It has meant the world to me.

~ FeudalAi


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